awatson Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 This is my first post. My husband and I have been married a year and a half. We have a beautiful little girl who looks just like him. We have been struggling with anger and resentment our whole marriage. His stems from things I did to hurt him while dating and mine from how cold and unaffectionate and verbally abusive he bacame after we married. Well after hurting and fighting with each other all this time I packed up and left last night. We would spend days not saying a word to each other. Months have passed since we've hugged said I love you or even made love. I loved him so much but my heart was breking everyday. I thought separating would be a good thing. I thought I would find some relief. But today I was still just as sad and lonely. My husband chats with other women. Even said awful things about me to them. And I carry all of that hurt around with me. I just wanted to be loved by him. I wanted a happy marriage. But it just doesn't seem possible. After all this time neithr has changed what the other didn't like. I'd hope he'd call and ask me home. But no luck. I have every reason to believe he no longer loves me. His actions tell me he detests me. I don't know what to do.
Berly Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 I'm also new at this, separated for just 2 weeks with two little boys. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I truly feel sorrow for you because of this. I know its heartbreaking right now, just know God is with you and will be with you through the whole thing. Also, find a good psychologist to talk to in your area. They can help let you get all the feelings out and give good feedback. Remember, you can only do whats right in your half of the marriage, he has responsibility for the other half. Hang in there and know God is with you!
Og fool Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 I am a guy but still can relate to the lack of affection and kind words. My wife has made it clear to me she wants a divorce from me but due to financial restraints have to live together until we sell one of our homes. We are cordial to each other and sleep together but I can tell a difference. We still go out but the nice little pecks on the cheek, the look she used to give me, even the slightest brushing against my arm are gone. I couldn't ever leave the house without her demanding a kiss goodbye, now I have to find her and get a completely fake kiss back. I felt like I raped her last time we had sex (no more making love), she asked if I was almost done in the middle! There were I love you's at least twice a day. After 4 weeks of me saying it and nothing coming back I finally stopped. We go to dinner or a movie and I feel as though I am with a stranger and almost nervous. The longer this goes on the less emotionally attached I am becoming to her. Maybe this doesn't help but I am starting to realize time starts to heal, maybe it will for you too?
azianpride143 Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 The first two years of marriage was rough for me. During the dating phase we don't really get to know everything about a person. Once you begin living with the person you start seeing the real them. There's really no guidebook in making a marriage work. What are you prepared to do? Have you tried sitting down with him, let him know how much this marriage matters, and what your prepared to do to make it work? What does he think caused the deterioration of the relationship and what he thinks you can do together to make it work? Pride aside. Let him listen to what you have to say and then listen to what he says. Then take it from there. Who knows you may still have a chance to save this one. Allow yourselves a couple of days break from each other.
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