Have any of you had an ex date someone right away? What did you feel and do?

[trent25]

Mine got one a day maybe two days after me. Says she is in love with him after 30 days (I heard this through her friend). I am in NC for almost four weeks. I cannot believe she found someone that quick. She is 20 yrs old though. You think she had him before me? Is it a rebound? I am very surprised. Just wondering if you went through the same thing? Did they ever come crawling back to you? I don't want her back, but I do want my stuff back. A lot of money that I let go.

[Curmudgeon]

Have any of you had an ex date someone right away? What did you feel and do? QUOTE]

 

Difference was, we were married for 25 years. She met him seven months before she decided to leave me then moved him in with her and my two youngest daughters and married him before the ink was dry on the final divorce order; a divorce I filed for. She was 44. I was 48. There was no crawling back, nor would I have permitted it. I was done with her.

[JulieL]

I don't know for sure how long it was before my ex first dated someone else. What I DO know though is that around day 20 he phoned me to tell me he would come by to pay me for a bill he owed (his cell bill, in my name) that afternoon when he got off from work. (it was Friday cause it was payday). He never showed up or phoned to say he wasn't coming. However on Sunday afternoon, he DID manage to drive by my house very slow with a gal on the back of his motorcycle. Then on Monday he phoned, leaving a voicemail, to tell me he hoped I saw his new bitch on the back of his bike and I wasn't WORTH the time to come by on Friday, that he didn't have the money anyway (then proceeded to tell me how he had bought a new tag for the bike, went to all sorts of bars etc. with new girl on Sat., got up and did it all over again on Sunday, how he was doing FUN things, not boring things like I like to do-this would be going out to the movies or to eat and NOT spending every waking moment getting drunk off my ass and getting DUI's like he likes to do), then proceds to tell me again he HOPED I saw his new girl on the back of the bike. Then he called and left a couple more taunting voicemails about how did it feel seeing a new "bitch" on the back of his bike. Then another one telling me how much better she was in bed than me. I guess it must not have worked out with new girl, cause he finally caught me on the phone by dialing from a number other than his own, then tried to convince me it was my imagination he drove by my house with a gal on the bike and that he hadn't seen or had sex with any woman since our breakup. He was so convincing in his lies that if I had not SAVED those voicemails I might have doubted my own sanity. Lately he has been calling leaving voicemails telling me how much he loves me, some saying how cold I am cause I won't take his calls, some saying how he wants to take me out but n ever live with me again, some how he'll never forgive me for throwing him away like this, how it just isn't in HIS heart to be that cold and throw peopleaway like I do. WTF??? He calls both during the day and evenings on Monday through Thurs. but rarely a peep on Friday through Sunday. Also note we had been living together for three years, and were having some rough patches (he drank too much, started using cocaine/crack). I went out of town for five days to care for an elderly parent. My cell does not get service there, so I told him he could call me from his cell or from our house phone which has free long distance, but I would not be calling him from my parents phone cause I knew they couldn't afford the long distance charges and I didn't have the extra money to pay them. He did phone me every evening, EXCEPT Friday and Saturday night (he phoned early in the day those days. On Monday on my trip home, he did phone once I got into reception area with my cell and that was to tell me he had just moved out cause I had not phoned him ONCE while gone and that I could kiss his f****** ass. I don't know about you guys, but in retrospect I think he probably already had some woman lined up and used that lame excuse. Or maybe he is just wacked. At any rate, I miss him, but it is a GOOD miss. lol

[JulieL]

I don't know for sure how long it was before my ex first dated someone else. What I DO know though is that around day 20 he phoned me to tell me he would come by to pay me for a bill he owed (his cell bill, in my name) that afternoon when he got off from work. (it was Friday cause it was payday). He never showed up or phoned to say he wasn't coming. However on Sunday afternoon, he DID manage to drive by my house very slow with a gal on the back of his motorcycle. Then on Monday he phoned, leaving a voicemail, to tell me he hoped I saw his new bitch on the back of his bike and I wasn't WORTH the time to come by on Friday, that he didn't have the money anyway (then proceeded to tell me how he had bought a new tag for the bike, went to all sorts of bars etc. with new girl on Sat., got up and did it all over again on Sunday, how he was doing FUN things, not boring things like I like to do-this would be going out to the movies or to eat and NOT spending every waking moment getting drunk off my ass and getting DUI's like he likes to do), then proceds to tell me again he HOPED I saw his new girl on the back of the bike. Then he called and left a couple more taunting voicemails about how did it feel seeing a new "bitch" on the back of his bike. Then another one telling me how much better she was in bed than me. I guess it must not have worked out with new girl, cause he finally caught me on the phone by dialing from a number other than his own, then tried to convince me it was my imagination he drove by my house with a gal on the bike and that he hadn't seen or had sex with any woman since our breakup. He was so convincing in his lies that if I had not SAVED those voicemails I might have doubted my own sanity. Lately he has been calling leaving voicemails telling me how much he loves me, some saying how cold I am cause I won't take his calls, some saying how he wants to take me out but n ever live with me again, some how he'll never forgive me for throwing him away like this, how it just isn't in HIS heart to be that cold and throw peopleaway like I do. WTF??? He calls both during the day and evenings on Monday through Thurs. but rarely a peep on Friday through Sunday. Also note we had been living together for three years, and were having some rough patches (he drank too much, started using cocaine/crack). I went out of town for five days to care for an elderly parent. My cell does not get service there, so I told him he could call me from his cell or from our house phone which has free long distance, but I would not be calling him from my parents phone cause I knew they couldn't afford the long distance charges and I didn't have the extra money to pay them. He did phone me every evening, EXCEPT Friday and Saturday night (he phoned early in the day those days. I missed the call on Sat. morning and he left a voiemail but never phoned back. On Monday on my trip home, he did phone once I got into reception area with my cell and that was to tell me he had moved out cause I had not phoned him ONCE while gone and that I could kiss his f****** ass. I don't know about you guys, but in retrospect I think he probably already had some woman lined up and used that lame excuse. Or maybe he is just wacked. I mean would a normal guy leave voicemails about another woman!!! ????? Yet in his eyes I am the one who did HIM wrong by not phoning while away. At any rate, I miss him, but it is a GOOD miss. lol

[JulieL]

Also note that previously he wouldn't move out come hell or high water when I wanted him to because of his alcoholism and cocaine use. I was making mountains out of molehills cause these were just minor problems in his eyes. But to HIM, a lack of phone calls, even though explained beforehand, was just too much of a cross for him to bear. And even though he has moved, he still shows up unannounced from time to time in my yard creating a yelling banging ruckous. Things like banging on my door and yelling about how I ****ed him over. I'm sure I am the talk of the neighborhood--lol.And I can't phone the police--if youwant read my reply to someone under addictions and that tells that little story.

[smookie]

I am going through it right now, i kicked him out, he left then started to date this other chick within 1 month they are living together... How do I feel... Sometimes hurt and scared why I do nto know because I do not ever want to be with him again but the thoguht that he can move on just like that and throw everything away...

[funkybassplayer]

My ex we were together about two years.......She got me involved into the kids lives (3 of them) i grew to love them loads, and did diy around the house, took them all on holidays, spent my last penny on them, stood by my ex even though she was so high mainteance, had to listen to her storys of guys chatting her up all the time, would get hell if i never called at a certain time, left to look after the kids when she went out clubbig, got hell because i was 2 hours late on x mas eve (because she could have gone out!) had to listen to her and her hubby text back n forth then she would get depressed but would never even think about divorcing him, and you know what, a day after we split (she finished it and was crying to be friends) she got a new fella, and i have not had contact with the kids since. That was 8 weeks ago! This bitch took my heart and kicked it far ahead, but im catching up to it now!

[LakesideDream]

Trent, I've told the story before, here's the short (really) version.

 

Wife of 25 years "needed space etc" three days later found out about her on and off 20+ year affair. Were divorced 72 hours after filing (actually a long time for no fault in Nv.). Helped her move into her new "security apt". the next weekend. Saw her "affair partner" pulling into the parking lot, cel phone in hand as I pulled out.

 

Don't know exactly if that constitutes a "date" or not.

[Citizen Erased]

Unfortunately I was the one who moved on quickly. I went from my ex to my current boyfriend within 5 days. It was really terrible of me but my ex knew I was breaking up with him because I had developed feelings for my current boyfriend and as long as I was single my ex felt he still had a chance. I broke up with him as soon as I realized my feelings and tried to be really discreet about my new relationship. But he had decided I was his property pretty much as soon as we began dating (pretty much why I was looking for an out in the relationship) and decided that he would spread rumors about me having an abortion, that I was nasty to my friends etc out of spite. Because being an a@@hole will make me come back I think that is the worse possible way you should react to a breakup.

[funkybassplayer]

A question daring. My ex went from me, to a neew guy in two weeks. She really wanted to stay friends, but we could'nt as he hated it, but i was really hurt over this as i got very close to her kids. Last time i spoke to her, she thinks im moving on and feeling better, but i did say i miss them all. Also during her new stages of her new guy, she still talked to me intimate ( i never knew about new chap) Anyway my question is do i let my ex know that i still care about her and stuff (i sent back all her stuff with no note, and have not contacted her since) or do i do nothing? It was a LDR but i spent much time with her abnd the kids, and miss them Do you thnk that i devalude the relationship by accepting freinds? I feel that i gave her the impression that i was getting over her, and was cool about the new guy, and stuff, just to make her feel more at ease i guess. Does that make sense. She was a h.maintenace type too who needed lots of attention. Or shall ii stay quite and ride this roller costaer?

[Tormented]

Oh, yeah!

 

My ex moved his ex (a woman that he swore he hated and would NEVER take back), in with him 2 days after our breakup...and even then, we weren't exactly broken up yet.

 

Strange...the entire time she lived there with him (a whole 3 months), he continued to call me and seek me out. And she, of course, began cheating on him within the first few weeks she moved in...just as she did the first time he and her were together.

 

He came crawling back - very remourseful for what he did but by that time I wanted nothing to do with him. I would never trust him again. If he had said it was raining...I would have gone outside to check!

 

Sometimes, the damage is too severe to ever give it another try. Better to just move on.

 

~T~

[Pixie-Minx]

Yes my guy was with another girl within 1 week, as far as im aware he never spent time with her before, although you start to doubt all the times he was at the gym etc! he was with her telling me he loved me! wtf!

Unfortuatly due to the internet i could watch this unfolding under my nose,

Sometimes, it a rebound, sometimes they were cheating.. u will never know, but its enough to tell you as hard as it is to hear.. if they really loved you. they would find it impossible to be with anyone else.

[marley_86]

My ex broke up with me (2 years) on the sunday, and told his friends he was single on the monday. He then went on his first date with her on the friday. If they wouldn't of met on the previous saturday, we would still be dating. But i'm having NC, about a week into it. He's come by to my work once to buy groceries, but i kept my head up. My manager said he looked sheepish when she talked to him. Maybe one day we will be able to be civil but not right now.

[pineapple2007]

yup. me and my first love were dating for 2 years. My gut told me something. So i decided to end it. I had the feeling he was dating someone...and even might have been sleeping at someone elses apartment because his was a complete MESS. I was totally heart broken ESPECIALLY when I ended it and all he said was "O.K, Good Bye." I was left in the dust. But I turned to my God instead of grabing my house key and scraping his car. I just knew that he would pay. So one year later he comes "crawling back" by then I was totally over him. He told me the whole story. He moved in with this girl he said he was "only friends with" and then SHE KICKED HIM OUT! So trusting in my God that he will deal with my ex was a good thing. because God did deal with it and I WAS ABLE TO SEE IT !!!!!

 

karma works. but besides all that. You need to also know if he really liked u he wouldnt have got over u that quickly... what if he doesnt know how to deal with it and hes rebounding?

[pineapple2007]

by the way, I DID NOT GET BACK WITH HIM WHEN HE CAME BACK. I wanted nothing to do with him... just thought id add that in