happy endings Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Hello everyone, first timer, What a way to introduce myself on this forum, by bringing my problems to you all. I have been reading the threads on this forum in the background quietly, thinking 'oh god we all face the same problem in our lives with someone' so i cant be the only one suffering. I hope you all can help with your thoughts. I have been married for 9 years, we have two lovely girls. The last 6 years we have been moving countries UK canada and now Spain, mainly supporting my husbands career. He was offered a place in Canada, i decided to go along, thinking since my career hadn't really taken off, it will be only fair to work as a team ( as always) and support each other. Always put others first and get trashed at the end. Anyways, for my H it got tough out there after 5 years ( long hours- cold etc) so we moved back to UK for a short time and now we are living in Spain. So I thought we were going to be living together, which never happened in the last two years. My H works away from home during the week days and comes home on the weekends. however, over this period our arguments have escalated, we seem to not value each others sacrifices. he doesn't see my pyhisically draining job ( a full time mother) as it doesn't bring the bucks ( according to him). We are certainly not respecting each other. Lately, we got into a petty argument, that resulted into a world war...he went back to work..didn't say bye, gave me the cold shoulder, didint feel the need to call me ( normally i will get 5 calls in the day) sent me a horrible email suggesting that i need to get grip with my emotions as i am a woman not a kid- whatever that meant. slowly we seem to be slipping away. The thing is I do love him, and in many ways I have started to feel insecure about myelf, he thinks i can only plan and not execute. I set up a resturant business and worked long hours for years and true i gave up coz it got too much...i hardly spent time with my girls. Basically i dont think he respects me. and i feel are we having these arguments because we have started to live apart from each other most of the times or is it because i am an emotional person- too much for him to handle- well saying that i was the same person when he chose to marry me...it wa OK then. I work my guts out during the week the house, the kids, their after school activities, cooking cleaning that when i do get a moment to do something for myself, I am exhausted. I have ambitions but they seem all knotted up and other things take priority. Would taking a job make him feel I am worth it? I am afraid that i may loose him and slowly he may cut me off from his life. we could talk about anything and now I feel it feels different... like an outsider. I really dont want to live this way and when i suggest to him lets move back to UK, his side of the argument would be the weather and the life style in Spain is great why SACRIFICE that...however i feel we are Sacrificing our family life. I dont know what do !!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe i am an emotional disaster...too sensitive for my own good.
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