MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 This is a huge deal for me, okay maybe more of a pet peeve. I have a date tonight with someone I've dated on and off. Last night he asked if I was OK with driving downtown. I said "I'd prefer if you drove" and he said he doesn't drive downtown (it's not a huge city < 1m). He has never driven anywhere with me in the vehicle, on a date or otherwise. It has always been me driving 45 min to his place, then drive on the date. He has driven to my place but we stayed in. He has met me once as well at our destination. I love road trips! I don't mind driving for a bit, but I think it is very manly (for lack of a better term) for a guy to do the driving and not wimp out. If I want to date this guy, and things might move in that direction, how can I get over this small thing?
Art_Critic Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 WTF kind of guy doesn't drive on a date ? and after you ask him too as well... I think he is being cheap and saving on gas and sticking you with the gas cost. Does he drink a lot ? Maybe he doesn't want to risk a DUI.. Seriously.. you asked him to drive.. ask him again.. tell him you want to be the passenger tonight as it would make you feel more special.. I would imagine that you will have to change your way of thinking about what him driving really means.. Maybe if he was able to give you a real excuse for not driving that it would help you swallow the fact your are always the one with the keys in hand
Steveto Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 I'm with Art...he might be a cheapskate OR he wants to do all the drinking. See if the guy will take turns..he drives one time and the next time you drive? I am road trip master and usually do it alone...record was 48 hrs straight...but I do have an issue driving other peoples cars. I don't know why, but I don't like to..then again, I don't like people driving my car..heh I don't even like to drive my fathers car and it's a nice Lexus SUV..compared to my '86 Audi.
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 WTF kind of guy doesn't drive on a date ? and after you ask him too as well... I was thinking the same thing. I don't like driving in general, so I really, really, really prefer the guy drive on dates...actually, all outings. It makes me feel protected or something, like he's taking care of me. If he asks me to once in a while, no biggie, but to refuse the way this guy is doing is a little odd. If it is about gas, ask him to drive you in your car. If it's about boozin', you might have to take turns.
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 I honestly have never met a man who doesn't like to drive. Many of my female friends enjoy driving, especially myself. This is very unusual, although on the scale of things, probably not that important...I guess... Of all the weird things, this would be a dealbreaker for me. I would ask why.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 Why? He grew up on the farm, was always a nerdy, non-athletic kid (so I hear from a former classmate), kinda wimpy/wussy. I know that for work he has a female assistant, and she does all the city driving and when they go on road trips, she drives too. I'm fine with dating a nerd, I have my nerdy side too! But it's a courtesy thing for me. Maybe she could chauffeur us around haha. No, he's not cheap, so it's not the gas, he has lotsa $$$. We both have 2007 SUV's (his is much bigger). When he said he doesn't "do downtown" I replied that the restaurant is at such'n'such a place (not downtown) and then we can do something else after, we don't have to go downtown. We can drink the same but he'd be in a better position to drive because he's just bigger than me! And there will be drinks/wine with dinner. I will tell him A-C's comment there, that it would make me feel special to be the passenger. Honestly, when I have to drive, it makes me feel kind of like I have to do this so he will spend is hard earned cash on me. And it shouldn't be about money, but I can't help but think that sometimes. I'm the one who has to drive 45 minutes to get to his place, then it should be his turn to drive. My heart sank last night when he said that, and I had been so excited about tonight too. I have to get all geared up again. I'm even going to park in the street so that it will be more convenient for him to get his vehicle out of his garage haha. Okay, so at least I have this as an "out" if I feel like it (once again) won't develop into anything. ps. the other guy hasn't called me yet, a few texts, so I guess things have slowed down on their own.
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Could it possibly be that he's not confident in his driving and navigational skills (esp since he usually has a chauffeur)? If so, I figure that could be extremely emasculating. I've negatively judged a guy for not knowing where he was going when we were off a very major street, even though I myself am not good with directions. But I know I am a bit weird like that, hence don't like driving people around. A few backseat driver bfs have made me self-conscious about my ability to drive and I have a poor sense of direction, plus I tend to be distracted when carrying on a conversation with someone or stressy when I go the wrong way and/or we are running late. I usually do pretty ok when on my own but less so when driving with others in my car. Like SG, I really hate driving and really think the man should drive most, if not all, the time, even if it means driving my car. And like TBF, I think it could possibly be a dealbreaker, especially if you're in the early stages. He should be wooing you but it sounds like you're not only not being wooed but having to meet him much more than halfway. Not very romantic, for lack of a better word.
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 I should clarify about why it would be a dealbreaker for me. Cars and driving are a personal interest of mine. I think it's very sexy when a guy is a capable driver. Something about a guy who isn't afraid to drive assertively, in a casual way. One hand on the wheel, the other on the stick, those masculine wrists...it's hot!
Art_Critic Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Something about a guy who isn't afraid to drive assertively, in a casual way. One hand on the wheel, the other on the stick, those masculine wrists...it's hot! Wanna take a ride in my Sequoia ?.. I'll show you Mr Wiggles... Does the type of car make a difference to you.. say if a guy was driving a Mini vs a guy driving an SUV ?
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Wanna take a ride in my Sequoia ?.. I'll show you Mr Wiggles... I get the feeling that Mr. Wiggles has seen the light of day quite often...
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 I don't mind the vehicle. As long as it's not too rundown (like my last bf's). The date was wonderful. He drove (had his vehicle in the driveway all ready to go). He had no problem with it. I believe he is just nervous driving downtown. It was stormy out, so we just went back to his place afterward. I felt very special the whole night. I even got a back rub out of it.
alphamale Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 If I want to date this guy, and things might move in that direction, how can I get over this small thing? Is he cheap? Is it about the price of petrol? Or is his car old and unreliable and he doesn't want it to break down while you're in it? Is his car a junk yard inside? Somethin' funky is going on cause most men love driving their woman around cause it gives them a sense of control and dominance
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 It's an '07 big honkin SUV loaded, leather seats, etc and he's also loaded It was good. I'll just have to keep being demanding about wanting him to be in the driver's seat (tell him how manly it is!). okay okay i'll drive once in a while.
alphamale Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 It's an '07 big honkin SUV loaded, leather seats, etc and he's also loaded . ahhh now I know the problem. He's afraid of taking his expensive gas-guzzling SUV with nav system downtown for fear it may be stolen or damaged. He's in luv with his car
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 lol maybe he is in love with his car but if he sticks with me long enough he'll grow to love me almost as much... dontcha think?
alphamale Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 maybe he is in love with his car but if he sticks with me long enough he'll grow to love me almost as much... dontcha think? possibly...depends on what you're like in the sack ....but the relationship between a man and his car can be a strong one
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 24, 2007 Author Posted June 24, 2007 well....i'm not sure if he likes sex either? We slept naked together but he didn't touch me. I think I scared him into respecting me just like all the others. hmmmm....
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