Kestrel Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 I haven't posted since the last time I had my eyes set on a girl, I'm hoping you guys will have some thoughts about my situation. Basically, I went on several dates with a girl a couple years ago. I ended up getting overwhelmed with work (and not sure of how she felt exactly of me), and I stopped calling her. We haven't really run into each other since, and we don't have any mutual friends. Recently I found that she had a profile on Facebook, and I befriended her online. Now I'm wondering if I should try again with her or not. I just feel weird messaging her after 2 years of no contact, for no real apparent reason. I'm also not sure what to say. I was hoping some of you might have some (hopefully successful ) experience with this. CN-Stopped talking to girl several years ago. Now wondering if and how to talk to her again.
Alexandra-Girl Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 In my experience... try looking at her photos. Find one that can lead to a question. Ask it. That will start the conversation. Example: picture - "You guys look like you had a wonderful time in this picture, what caused the laughter and smiles?" She will respond with some 'life' details and I am sure you can extrapolate a few questions from her response to send next. Keep it going. She will get comfortable chatting again. Once you are comfortable you can put the feelers out. It is always nice to receive an email chat from someone you haven't seen or heard from in years. Life changes and so do the circumstances that brought you to where you are. Good-luck Alex.
Author Kestrel Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 In my experience... try looking at her photos. Find one that can lead to a question. Ask it. That will start the conversation. Example: picture - "You guys look like you had a wonderful time in this picture, what caused the laughter and smiles?" She will respond with some 'life' details and I am sure you can extrapolate a few questions from her response to send next. Keep it going. She will get comfortable chatting again. Once you are comfortable you can put the feelers out. It is always nice to receive an email chat from someone you haven't seen or heard from in years. Life changes and so do the circumstances that brought you to where you are. Good-luck Alex. Thanks for the tip.... Question though: isn't it obvious that the only reason the guy emails/messages you is just because he's interested in you? And that doesn't bother you? It seems so.....awkward or desperate on the guy (i.e. my) part
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 well, how interested in her are you? from the sound of your post, you're not very. (that can turn some girls off.) just kind of take it or leave it. how did things leave off when you last talked? does she seem receptive? if you're whatever about it, i don't see how it can hurt, as rejection or lack of response won't be taken to heart, presumably? yes, it's obvious why a guy would message, but it's not necessarily awkward or desperate, as she has no idea what's been going on in your life since then. for all she knows you could've had a gf for the last two years or been relocated to another city for work.
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Thanks for the tip.... Question though: isn't it obvious that the only reason the guy emails/messages you is just because he's interested in you? And that doesn't bother you? It seems so.....awkward or desperate on the guy (i.e. my) part I have reconnected with several guys I have dated previously through MySpace - most of them found me. In only one instance did I think he was interested and hoping for something romantic, and he was, and we actually ended up dating. With the rest I have just assumed that they wanted to be "internet friends" (for lack of a better phrase). We chat online or through MySpace, catch up on each other's lives, shoot the sh*t, etc., but never physically see each other. I think it's been their way (as well as mine) of assuaging some of their discomfort from the end of that "dating" relationship we once had.
Steveto Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Meh..I got my own facebook story..contacted a girl I haven't seen in 15 years..was working out great..we were gonna meet and everything--she hasn't contacted me in 3 weeks..bah Anyway, I started with an email..Hey soandso...think wayyyy back..remember that time we were in Europe and...... Anyway, she was so surprised that I found her blah blah..start it with something common..a common memory that you think she would remember, though..hope you didn't piss her off by not contacting her back after a few dates..I know I'm pretty miffed after quite some awesome phone conversations and SMS's ..then nothing.
pink smartie Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Question though: isn't it obvious that the only reason the guy emails/messages you is just because he's interested in you? So what? What's wrong with being straightfoward about you wanting to go out with her again? Seems to me like the previous phase of dating was nothing but bad timing.
Author Kestrel Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 well, how interested in her are you? from the sound of your post, you're not very. (that can turn some girls off.) just kind of take it or leave it. how did things leave off when you last talked? does she seem receptive? Well, it just sort of died. I am interested in her, at least to go out a few more times and get to know her better. So what? What's wrong with being straightfoward about you wanting to go out with her again? Seems to me like the previous phase of dating was nothing but bad timing. Dunno, it just seemed sort of weird for me to do that..... Now to work up the courage....
Author Kestrel Posted June 25, 2007 Author Posted June 25, 2007 Well, I sent her a little message. [Peter Griffin]And now I play the waiting game[/Peter Griffin]
EIN Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 Stop waiting, you're building up false hopes and then get disappointed if she does not respond back. Live your own life just as you had before finding her again.
Mary3 Posted June 28, 2007 Posted June 28, 2007 Personally , I would wonder why a guy waited 2 years to contact me....
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