UT_longhorn Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 I need some pointers from people to point out what the heck im doing wrong here. so 2 weeks ago on a weekend i invite a friend out and she brings out a girlfriend. that girlfriend and i hit it off well. conversation flows through the night for a few hours. so we both come to the conclusion that we have a mutual favorite sushi restaurant. so i say we should go check it out some day. she comes back and says she's been wanted to try this new one and we should try that out so i get her number and the night ends later. i go out of town for work so when i get back after 7 days, i give her a call and leave a message - "Hey. Just wondering what youre up to. Give me a call back" Short message. i get a text back - "Hey, in LA. Raincheck?" So I message back "sounds good. have fun, be safe." That was last Saturday. So Today (Thursday) I call her and leave another message "Hey just wondering if your back from Cali. Give me a call back." No call back. So what am I doing wrong here? I'm assuming I should have called sooner? I always seem to be able to do very well the first night with women..then when i try to get out on a date...things fall through. I know not many details to work with, but anyone have any insight into what I might be doing wrong?
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 I need some pointers from people to point out what the heck im doing wrong here. so 2 weeks ago on a weekend i invite a friend out and she brings out a girlfriend. that girlfriend and i hit it off well. conversation flows through the night for a few hours. so we both come to the conclusion that we have a mutual favorite sushi restaurant. so i say we should go check it out some day. she comes back and says she's been wanted to try this new one and we should try that out so i get her number and the night ends later. i go out of town for work so when i get back after 7 days, i give her a call and leave a message - "Hey. Just wondering what youre up to. Give me a call back" Short message. i get a text back - "Hey, in LA. Raincheck?" So I message back "sounds good. have fun, be safe." That was last Saturday. So Today (Thursday) I call her and leave another message "Hey just wondering if your back from Cali. Give me a call back." No call back. So what am I doing wrong here? I'm assuming I should have called sooner? I always seem to be able to do very well the first night with women..then when i try to get out on a date...things fall through. I know not many details to work with, but anyone have any insight into what I might be doing wrong? You called her TODAY and she hasn't called back yet? PATIENCE, hello! That said, you originally waited SEVEN DAYS to call her after getting her number. Assuming you didn't tell her when you got her number that you were going out of town for a week, this is bad, bad, bad. Actually, even if you did, it's still bad (phones still work out of town, as evidenced by her response when she was in L.A.). Please refer to the following, and pay attention to the FEMALE perspective: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t122660/ Give her a chance to call you back. If she doesn't, try again.
Alexandra-Girl Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 I fully agree with the above..... PATIENCE. You know she is 'out of town'... but hey, look at the brightside - she did say raincheck and did text you back. If she wasn't interested she could easily make up some BS to ignore you. She didn't. So kudos in your direction. However, don't put out the image of a clinger. Let her get in touch with you next. Good-luck Alex.
Author UT_longhorn Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 Thanks ladies. I knew there was a reason I loved this site and the people on it. I guess at this point I'll wait a couple days and if no contact chalk it up as a loss. *crossing fingers
Alexandra-Girl Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Mr. Texas, We'll cross our fingers for you, but, don't chalk it up to a loss silly:laugh:. For starters, you never had her to begin with. What you should do is chalk it up to great effort. You put effort in it and the confidence you get out of it should be apparent. You made a huge step that some shy people go their entire lives trying achieve. Pat yourself on the back - regardless of the output:D. Kudos, Alex
gfto Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 i go out of town for work so when i get back after 7 days, i give her a call and leave a message - "Hey. Just wondering what youre up to. Give me a call back" Too vauge. You should've been specific: "hey, this is longhorn, let's try that sushi place Tuesday night." i get a text back - "Hey, in LA. Raincheck?" Raincheck for what? You didn't even ask her for a date. Plus, when someone responds to a voice mail with a text message, it always feels to me like that person is blowing you off. I'm assuming I should have called sooner? If she's really interested in having sushi with you, it doesn't make any difference. Don't get discouraged. Of every ten phone numbers you get, only two or three will actually go on a date with you. It's just part of the game. Keep swinging the bat!
Author UT_longhorn Posted June 25, 2007 Author Posted June 25, 2007 thanks for the replies guys. i need a little bit more guidance here. so she did call me back. 2 days later. convo was pleasant. talked about her weekend, and how she got an eye infection and how her eyes were so red. i invited her out as my friend from new york was in town and a group of friends were going out...she said she would love to but if her eyes got any worse, she would have to cancel later. so later that night i asked if she's still up to coming out. she texted "if you guys are going somewhere relaxed i will go, but my eye is bothering me so i dont want to go anywhere crazy." but since we were going out to a club, i messaged her "we are going clubbing. how about you take care of your eyes, and Ill call u later this week" messaged back "sounds good. have fun. going to sleep." am i on the right track so far? i feel a little more confident about the situation, but still am unsure. what do you guys think.
dbtmarley Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 I do not see a problem with either what she is saying or what you are saying. Both of you seem to be considerate of each others situations. Keep playing it cool and see what happens. You never know it may be a story the two of you can share with the grand kids one day.lol.
Author UT_longhorn Posted June 27, 2007 Author Posted June 27, 2007 So I called her again last night as I promised I would in our last exchange of texts. No pickup and no call back. And though I have learned to wait a little before I chalk it up as a loss, it seems a bit odd that she never picks up the phone and I always have to leave messages. Is this a sign of disinterest? Is this normal?
dbtmarley Posted June 27, 2007 Posted June 27, 2007 Whether she likes you or not is not the issue... You are causing this duress on yourself. In my opinion, limit your calls and texts to just once a week. Talk to other females in the mean time because the two of you are not committed by any means. You may meet someone else.... You may meet a couple of someone else's. Do not invest to much time in this woman.... yet. Why? Because she has not shown you that it is your place to do so. It does not have to be anything you did wrong dude. It may just be timing, it could be anything. Just back off a little bit. Call once a week and just be cool about it. Talk to other women... If the two of you start talking later and decide to become exclusive you can break contact with your other female acquaintances.. Just relax... You know her and she knows you. That is more than you had before you met her. I think you are hurting your chances more than helping... back off a little. She might just surprise you!
Alexandra-Girl Posted June 28, 2007 Posted June 28, 2007 I have to agree with dbtmarley. You did your part and for that you get kudos. You were punctual and did exactly what you said you would. Women respect this. She may still be under the weather, etc. Don't read into it because then you will start being suspicious and that is no way to enter ANY form of relationship. Wait for her to get in touch with you. When she does, keep it light. As for the phone, she may not be a talker. She may not have caller ID. There can be an abundent number of reasons. Don't start overanalyzing. PS - I know I am not a talker, heck, I avoid my cell at all costs $$$$. If my car was to ever be stolen, I know my cell would go with it as I don't even bring the cell into my house at night. We run our lives around clocks and mobiles (thanks Taylorism and Technology), why would I willfully bring that interruption gadget in my house!
Author UT_longhorn Posted June 30, 2007 Author Posted June 30, 2007 hey thanks guys. so its been since tuesday that i called and left a message. today is saturday (4 days) i've chilled and kept my mind on work etc. so at this point am i going to assume that she's not calling. so far the signs seemed positive until this. now at this juncture, im wondering, do i try one more time to call / text message? or will trying again at this point just make me look like a chump? i don't mind being persistent, but i do have an amount of pride that won't let me make myself look like a chump. is she playing hard to get or hard to never get?
Art_Critic Posted June 30, 2007 Posted June 30, 2007 hey thanks guys. so its been since tuesday that i called and left a message. today is saturday (4 days) Sounds to me that she is now blind from the red eye infection and cannot see to dial anymore.. I thought you handled it great.. but it seems she really has no interest in you or at the very least isn't showing you any.. Pick up the phone a few days and touch base.. if nothing comes of it then blow her off for good
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