tfj50 Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Ok well first of all, I'm not that great at "Starting a conversation". There's a girl I like, and she likes me.. and we are kind of a "thing" but not dating yet... But like when we talk on the phone and stuff it's always hard to keep the conversation going sometimes, there's always awkard silences lol.. i always ask her the general "what's up" "how are you" "what are you up to today", etc stuff like that but does anybody have any ideas on how i can keep the conversation going, if you do please post it will help me tons! Thanks
jeezybc Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 spend time with her in person. hang out doing something very casual to get to know her, her brand of humor &/or sarcasm, likes and dislikes will help you in making and keeping conversation. LISTEN to her. When she answers "nothing" when you ask "what's up?", then ask her WHY isn't there anything up? surely she didn't spend 24 hours with zero thoughts....she'll most likely answer "oh i didn't do much because x-y-z...and that should help get the ball rolling. GOOD LUCK!
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Sometimes it's good to talk about external things, things you've seen/heard, music, movies, food/restaurants, things in the news, even trashy stuff like celebrity happenings. Most girls like that kind of stuff and have an opinion. I think it helps shift the focus off you two and shows her you are well-rounded and know things, and her tastes and opinions might help you get to know her better too.
Author tfj50 Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 Thank you guys so much for the replies, I think it will help, if anybody has anymore to say please do so.
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 One stupid thing my bf and I like to do since we are apart during the week is watch reality shows like Top Chef (lots of drama and meltdowns!) and So You Think You Can Dance (especially during the audition phase, where there are many untalented hopefuls). I never considered myself a reality buff but it's easy to get sucked in and we call each other on the commercial breaks to comment on the contestants, predict who will be eliminated and why, etc. Maybe you're not at that level yet, but I find it gives us something new to talk about, since after five years we have pretty much heard everything the other has to say about their life thus far. I guess you could start by querying what kind of shows she likes and tell her which you like. One that I really like and am hoping to turn more people onto is Flight of the Conchords on HBO. It's sort of quirky humor interspersed with songs. May or may not be your cup of tea?
Topper Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Do you have some idea of the things she likes? I mean does she love animals or is she into Music, Poetry or Art yes even TV shows or something like that? Most guys get brain freeze when they first call a girl. your mind turns to mush. You run out of things to say. When you hand up you feel like you made a fool of yourself. Here isa tip. this tip was given to me by a guy that was very successful with girls in High School. He was one of my older brothers best friends. He saw that i was shy around girls and took sympathy on me and gave me some tips. here is a tip. Now before you call her up make some notes on what you you can talk about. Maybe something that happened at school or something about a mutual friend plus the things she is interested in. When you have brain freeze you can refer to your notes. Now listen to what she has to say. really listen to pick up on her hints. All girls and woman talk in code. They think men can read their minds. They think they are screaming ask me out when all we hear is "yeah well maybe, If I'm not doing anything." also keep in mind that if you do get shot down it's no big deal. Lick your wounds and move on. laugh about it. If your buds give you crap about being shoot down remind them that at least you had the balls to ask. while they sit at home play video games and dreaming about girls at least your doing something about it.
Author tfj50 Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 Thanks again, I thought I knew her really good but now as I think I don't really because I don't know what she likes and stuff.. I mean she's easy to make laugh, she likes movies, friends, and music but that's really all I know. I was thinking about taking her to a movie or something.. and last time I went to a movie with a chick it was so akward lol i never knew when to kiss her.. etc
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Just don't kiss her at the movie. That's so high school!
directx Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 This is a fantastic question btw, that I wish I had help with when I was high school. Its weird. Some people are easy to talk to and some the conversation just dies. I love the tv show advice. That would be mine. Its finding simliar interests, but I would avoid politics and religeon at the start. You dont want anything too controversial early on. Pre-concieve some funny stories that happened to you. If they make you look silly, all the better. You would be surprised how non-flattering stories about you are percieved as endearing as honest.
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Directx, that is true. Just make sure none are of a sexual nature, even if incidentally. One date I had he told me a very exciting/interesting story, but in order to explain HOW he got into this mess he had to reveal that he had gone to see a prostitute. But only for a BJ, you understand. And he told me this on our first date! To the OP, I think what KIND of movies, TV shows, music, etc. is important. Ok, not important, but will help fuel conversations. The devil's in the details. Not just A movie or music in general (you seem a bit vague). The more specific, the better. Even if your tastes don't overlap, you could introduce each other to new things.
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Oh. Ha. I dunno then. I didn't do that in HS and I don't think I would have liked to. Nor do I, as a patron, like to see people making out at the movies. It's pretty gross and self-absorbed and uncomfortable for others, I think? Not that you were thinking of doing that. I was joking when I said it.
Author tfj50 Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 i know a "makeout" isnt' neccesary at the movies
directx Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 A movie , however, is a good place to go if you want to meet and kiss someone you shouldnt be with.... no one can see you, etc.
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