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Posted

its been two months since ive been in no contact with my ex. i must say that i miss her terribly. she is the one that wanted the break up and wanted to remain friends...but i knew i couldnt be her friend if i was still inlove with her. i was hoping that after two months i would be over her but ive been having such a hard time letting her go. she is constantly on my mind. i have read so many threads here on how to cope. i have kepy myself busy, hung out with family and friends, talked about my feelings with people who will listen...etc..

Posted

Man I know how you feel...I've been dealing with it longer though. I am getting better. You are taking the right steps to getting over her. Eventually, she won't even cross your mind. She ended it with me too...and also wanted to be myfriend...I just couldn't...call me selfish, immature, whatever...I couldn't. I too still had feelings for her too...

 

I used to work with this chic, so, seeing her everyday was really tough. I had a false hope of us getting back together for a couple months. I left the job months later, and she hooks up with a co-worker...glad I left when I did! I don't know how I could've gone into work after that!

 

I was over this woman. I just let myself fall back into feeling hurt again. It was a cycle that was not enjoyable to me...But, talking about it, hanging out with your friends, is the right way to go. Good luck.

Posted

Don't be discouraged man.. you're doing a good job. Don't be discouraged that you're not over your ex after two months.. Two months is nothing...it's still within a season. Just continue to keep yourself busy, talk to your friends and family, and you'll be alright man. Just stay strong

Posted

It could be over 10 years, its happened to someone on here. I'm also 5 months into NC and no improvement (still getting worse). So, don't get discouraged but things may suck for a long, long time, longer than you can even imagine.

 

Cheers!

Posted

Hello my good man...

 

You are doing great - probably better than I was 2 months after my breakup. We broke up around 20th of October and I can remember me sitting at the bar staring into my empty beer glass the day before Christmas.

 

After New Years I realized that this wasn't the way to go. So I decided to get a grip and I went out and asked the first nice looking girl I saw out on a date. It took some nerve to do that. We went out on few dates and it had some potential in the beginning - but it didn't work out. Today we are really good friend though (talk every two days or so).

 

This turned out to help me a lot. Being able to get my mind of my ex while thinking about this new girl. But I can tell you that it's been 8 months now and she still pops into my mind every day, and usually before I step into the shower. She's not in my head constantly all day now, but there are moments when something reminds me of her.

 

Last summer was the best in my life - and I constantly get those flashbacks. Like June 17th was the best day in my life last year. Went on this great camping trip with her and her friends. June 17th was a difficult day for me this year, as I sat in my chair studying for a physics exam. You will probably get those flashbacks on certain days too.

 

Instead of trying to erase her from my memory, I have learned to live with the feeling that she is somewhere out there, and we won't get back together anytime in this life. Letting go like this, was the only thing that helped me to move on with my life.

 

Not to mention - of course my ex also wanted to be friends too. After all, I am a pretty nice and funny guy. Of course I said yes. I've lost her love and I didn't want to lose a friend too. Well, she hasn't called me since the day I walked out of her apartment. That is fact that describes her better than anything, and I don't want anything to do with that.

 

So I will say to you the same thing as CaliGuy told me once, "Don't make someone a priority in your life, who only sees you as an option".

Spend your energy on the people in your life that actually care about you.

 

Have a nice weekend :)

Posted

Totally agree with Kelso,

Rather than trying to forget all the time - which is actually still in a round about way of thinking of her..try to just accept her memory.

She was a part of your life..good or bad, but you cant go back to the past.. all you can do is make what you have now great,

I appreciate that i get a buz of life when im not with my ex.. he was so controlling and yet likes to remind me its independence that attracts him!

Your heart my not be in it...but it will catch up.

sometimes rebounds work, if only to take ur mind off your ex, but dont make them serious..i did that once...and boy do i regret it, i hurt the one person i probably could of spent my life with, but not being over my ex caused me to break this mans heart.

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Posted

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. In a time like this, its always good to hear you're not the only one going through something so crushing. Like many of you have said, its those memories that keep playing in my head that hurts me the most. I've had so many rough times in my life and I've had break ups before but this one is different. This one relationship really broke my heart.

Posted

Look at it this way. She wanted something else so it would have never worked out with you two. Better to find out now than later. Also, everytime things don't work out there is a logical reason why they don't work out. Love is blind and tends to cloud your vision but after your mind kicks in, you'll begin to see things you haven't seen when you were in love. So take this break up as a blessing in disguise giving you opportunity to find someone else with whom you can have a normal relationship.

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