zilverenvlinder Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 OK. So, here's my story. My fiance, Ryan, lives with his mother in a nice apartment, because he used to have a crappy job and couldn't afford to live on his own. Now, he has a decent job and still lives with his mother. They live about 18-20 minutes away from me. I live with this psychotic, crazy girl who is pushing me over the edge. She accuses me of everything I haven't done (and then turns around and steals MY stuff), and I just want to kill her sometimes. Besides that, I myself have a crappy job and can't afford to live with her anymore. So, what I've been doing for the past couple of months is just hauling my butt over to Ryan's/his mother's apartment pretty much every night. First of all, he won't come visit me at MY house because he can't stand my roommate (and she can't stand him)... and I can't even stay at my own house because I can't tolerate her anymore. So basically, I am paying rent and utilities at an apartment that a) I'm never at, and b) I can't afford to live anymore. So, Ryan decided that he's going to buy us a house before we get married. (Thank God!) Unfortunately, neither of us have enough credit to get approved for mortgages. I suggested that we suck it up and live in a studio shack for the next six months (NOT a big deal), but he won't do it because we have to "save". He has also suggested that I move all of my stuff back to my parents' house and then just come and stay with him. This is not going to happen. My parents live at least half an hour away from him, and I don't want his mother thinking I'm barging in. The gas expenses would be enormous. I would gladly do this option if we were going to have a house in say, a month or two. But six months? To TEN months? No! No way. Also, I live in this "crazy" place and pay $350 a month for basically, storage and taking showers. I thought if we got a studio apartment and just paid a $150 apiece every month we would still have enough to save for furniture and a down payment, especially since he makes so much money. What do you think I should do? Any option besides the last one is going to drive me mad. Thank you for your input!
tanbark813 Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 Well your last option sounds the most reasonable unless he's not willing to budge in which case you could just get your own studio. But it's a little hard to help because I'm too distracted with fantasies about paying that little for rent.
Lizzie60 Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 OK. So, here's my story. My fiance, Ryan, lives with his mother in a nice apartment, because he used to have a crappy job and couldn't afford to live on his own. Now, he has a decent job and still lives with his mother. They live about 18-20 minutes away from me. I live with this psychotic, crazy girl who is pushing me over the edge. She accuses me of everything I haven't done (and then turns around and steals MY stuff), and I just want to kill her sometimes. Besides that, I myself have a crappy job and can't afford to live with her anymore. So, what I've been doing for the past couple of months is just hauling my butt over to Ryan's/his mother's apartment pretty much every night. First of all, he won't come visit me at MY house because he can't stand my roommate (and she can't stand him)... and I can't even stay at my own house because I can't tolerate her anymore. So basically, I am paying rent and utilities at an apartment that a) I'm never at, and b) I can't afford to live anymore. So, Ryan decided that he's going to buy us a house before we get married. (Thank God!) Unfortunately, neither of us have enough credit to get approved for mortgages. I suggested that we suck it up and live in a studio shack for the next six months (NOT a big deal), but he won't do it because we have to "save". He has also suggested that I move all of my stuff back to my parents' house and then just come and stay with him. This is not going to happen. My parents live at least half an hour away from him, and I don't want his mother thinking I'm barging in. The gas expenses would be enormous. I would gladly do this option if we were going to have a house in say, a month or two. But six months? To TEN months? No! No way. Also, I live in this "crazy" place and pay $350 a month for basically, storage and taking showers. I thought if we got a studio apartment and just paid a $150 apiece every month we would still have enough to save for furniture and a down payment, especially since he makes so much money. What do you think I should do? Any option besides the last one is going to drive me mad. Thank you for your input! If you're already paying $350 and going crazy... and he won't move in a studio because he doesn't want to pay the $150 or is it because it would be too small? Then if the studio is $300 why don't you pay the whole thing... you would still save $50 and you'd be by yourself. You can't force him to do something he's not ready to do... I think he sound mature enough, he's planning for the future... I can't blame him.. I think YOU need to take care of your own business...don't wait for him to get you out of this crazy place... you need to run your own agenda... don't depend on anyone... I say YOU move in the studio and save the $50 that you can put towards the down payment of the house... or furniture... how's that.
Star Gazer Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 But it's a little hard to help because I'm too distracted with fantasies about paying that little for rent. Me too!! I literally cannot find an answer because I cannot wrap my brain around those numbers!!
Author zilverenvlinder Posted June 21, 2007 Author Posted June 21, 2007 Hm. Well. I think you both may be absolutely right. If he doesn't want to move out, he doesn't have to. He can save a bunch of money for furniture and stuff. Besides, he has told me before that all he wants me to do is take care of groceries and stuff, and he'd pay all the bills. SO, yes, you're right. Maybe I'll just live in a little dump apartment until everything is peachy. That's probably the best idea right now.
Lizzie60 Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 Hm. Well. I think you both may be absolutely right. If he doesn't want to move out, he doesn't have to. He can save a bunch of money for furniture and stuff. Besides, he has told me before that all he wants me to do is take care of groceries and stuff, and he'd pay all the bills. SO, yes, you're right. Maybe I'll just live in a little dump apartment until everything is peachy. That's probably the best idea right now. Move by yourself.. I lived in a small studio once, when I left my 2nd ex. about 6 yrs ago, it was inexpensive.. I decorated it.. it was my own little cocoon... it was nice and cozy. Your bf can then visit you, he didn't like your roomate, now he won't have that excuse. It will be much better for both of you. And if he says, he will pay the bills... geez...how nice... go for it.. he's a keeper.
climbergirl Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 Why not move in with him/his mother and pay her rent? That way you are both saving money for a bit until you have enough to a buy a place. I can kind of see his point of trying to save until he can afford something bigger. And you have to keep in mind that $300 for an apartment will also include deposit, furniture, food, start up for any utilities, etc. And 6 months isn't the end of the world. It's a relatively short time.
Tony T Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 BUY A HOUSE!!! The two of you can buy a house together if you have NO credit or if your credit is marginal. You may pay one point additional interest but that's all. There are many mortgage brokers who have excellent sources of money for this type of loan. Call a reputable broker and discuss your situation. Every city of any size in America has a housing assistance function where they often give grants to first home buyers for down payments. Look into this. Many municipalities will even arrange the financing. Pay attention to the newspapers and alert Realtors of your situation. Every single day there are people trying to unload their homes at ridiculously low prices because they're either fixing to lose them in foreclosure, they have to sell fast to leave town, etc. These situation present golden opportunities for a buyer. In the United States of America, there is NO reason whatsoever why a person cannot own a home of some kind, it may not be a mansion...but it's a home. And you can move on up from there. You simply give up way too easily!
Trialbyfire Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 I have to be honest here and be a little concerned about jumping into a joint property situation with a man who's never left home. It's not only the cost of the purchase you have to consider, in relation to dollars and cents. There's maintenance, property taxes, sewer and water costs, on and on. I agree with the studio idea. Be independent and lose the psychotic roommate. It can only be beneficial.
Author zilverenvlinder Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 Trial, he's left home before, but had to move back in last year because of financial reasons. (Thanks for the concern, though ;-) ) Ooh, thanks, Tony T! I will definitely look into that. It's not like I want a freaking mansion or anything. I bet I could find some info on the Internet. I really honestly thought that since neither of us have credit, or like, 3 grand for a down payment, that we'd have to wait for like, ten months.
Mino Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Hello, i would suggest moving to the studio, where you are also building up your credit. Get second job, save for downpayment. How long have you been together? I donno about buying a house with a boyfriend, sounds very risky to me. Let him put the house on his name, you pay utilities, save up and buy yourself your own property, even if you rent it out,
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