TurtlePower Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 I posted something similar in another forum, but I thought it would make more sense to post it here. My issue is quite simple yet so complex. It involves three of my closest friends and me, it is mired in jealousy and shadiness. We all work together, I should add. The main two people involved, lets call them Stanley and Helen are engaged and have a baby. They have had their share of ups and downs, Helen broke up with Stanley about a month ago on the basis of "He never loved me, he never loved me" and for financial reasons. I, being Helen's best friend over the course of the past three years let her cry on my shoulder and I always did suspect that Stanley never cared for Helen. Ultimately they reconciled and are now back together. Which brings me to my next friend, lets call her Teri. Teri and Stanley dated for a month or so about three years ago (Helen was aware), but Stanley ultimately ended it abruptly. Within a month of that breakup, Helen got pregnant by Stanley. Melrose Place-ish? I will now fast forward to present day. Both Stanley and Teri are both in the running for a promotion. Stanley is convinced Teri will get it, so he has resulted to third grade recess bashing. Name calling, rumor spreading, you know all that stuff we are supposed to be grown out of. Teri and I are outside one day just casually talking then Stanley comes outside and had it out the other day, more like Stanley unleashes a load of crap onto Teri, totally unwarranted. Helen proceeds to come outside as well to calm Stanley down. Teri and I leave for the day. I return to Helen's house a few hours later for dinner. Everything was fine for an hour, then Helen finally says, "SO WHATS UP WITH TERI, WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT,WHATS HER PROBLEM?!" Basically Helen was giving Teri a bunch of crap behind her back without knowing the full story. If Stanley hated someone, so would she. She has developed his negative outlook on EVERYTHING, saying "I don't even need to have any friends, I am fine with just the baby and Stanley.' But wait, there is more... What Helen does not know is that a few weeks prior to this, Stanley had made sexual advances towards Teri, and asked her to go drinking with him a couple of times. Not appropriate behavior of an engaged person, I feel. Which is funny because Stanley still accuses Helen of having an affair with me every so often. HA! But what grinds my gears is that when I was at dinner with Helen, she says, "Ultimately you're going to have to choose sides, or you'll look like the bad guy." This just doesnt relate to this topic, but for everyone in general she says. I am the kind of person that gets along with everyone and I feel that shouldn't be a detriment or character flaw. So I raise the question, should I choose sides? Any advice is much appreciated and I thank you all for taking the time to read all of this.
amaysngrace Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 I wouldn't choose sides. I would remain neutral like you've been doing. But if you have to choose sides then choose the side of the person who isn't forcing you to choose.
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