Onelife Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 I know it sounds horrible and you all can flame me for this. I can't help it that I dreamed about that. It was a nightmare for me! Now that I decided to quit and move on and it's been 13 days already after the NC. Now that I think I am doing better and start to feel ok with my everyday life again. I just had to have this dream of xMM and W making love right in front of me! Yep...loud and clear! Now I just can't get rid of that thought. I feel so bad and it's like I am kicked back to where I started!!! For the BSs, I don't mean to offend any of you. At least you know that as hard as we try to get out, there is always another thing happens to make it harder. Again not that I don't think it's also hard on your side. For the OWs, any thoughts? Has this kind of dream ever happened to you? Is there any way I can make this positive? Maybe it's good I get a chance to look fear in the face??? So I can move on even faster!? I need support from you guys. :(
raincloud Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 I'm a BS, I won't flame you. I just wanted to say that I have had dreams like that, of course they were OW with husband dreams/nightmares. And after waking up I carried that yicky bad dream feeling around all day. It is just your emotions and feelings carrying over....I feel. Congrats on moving on...hang in there. I will also say that the day after I told my husband he was free to go be with OW, the dreams were worse, Go Figure!
Shades of Grey Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 So strange, I have had dreams like this several times! I think it's something that you try to put at the back of your conscious mind because it hurts too much but when it comes out in your dreams it forces you to face reality - - and subsequently hurts just as much! I guess facing realities like this is the only way to move forward without them so pain notwithstanding a positive sign.
TogetherForever Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 Not once did I ever dream of that. Maybe it happens mostly to ow that are in nc???
IWALH Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 I had that dream a few months ago. First he and I were kissing, then she came in and we stopped. Then we were getting ready to have a threesome (haha) and I turned around one second and turned back around and they were having sex. I felt sick to my stomach. So I went out and then went back in and he was going downstairs to get something to eat. When he was down at the fridge I came up from behind him and started grabbing his crotch. Then he tried to push me away and I was wondering why and noticed his daughter was seeing everything! Then she told his wife when she came downstairs who got very upset. It was very very weird.
Shades of Grey Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 Not once did I ever dream of that. Maybe it happens mostly to ow that are in nc??? Nope. Both in and out of NC for me.
PoshPrincess Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 I have had SO many dreams about exMM AND some with his W in but none that have involved them making love. I know what you mean about it setting you back though. I've been dealing with things a lot better since the weekend so I just know there will be another one of those dreams coming up. It happens all the time!
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 In dreams, when we sleep, the subconscious mind kicks in and brings up the things that we have been consciously suppressing. Even without the dreams or remembering dreams, I wake up and immediately remember things that I have racked my brain over for days. And yes the bad things that I don't want to think about that I put away all day come back as soon as I drift off. Haven't slept in days because of this.
TogetherForever Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 Maybe it's in the back of some ow's minds questioning/wondering if mm & his wife are intimate. Hence, the nightmare's of the two being intimate.
Author Onelife Posted June 21, 2007 Author Posted June 21, 2007 Thank you all for the replies. It helps me tremendously knowing that this thing does happen! I felt/feel really sick in my stomach!!! It's like a big slap in my face...a wake up call!!! Well...what do I expect anyway, right? That's what H and W do? Good that I am no longer in the picture! The truth is...the truth hurts!!!! And it sure hurts real bad!!!!
Author Onelife Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 I'm a BS, I won't flame you. I just wanted to say that I have had dreams like that, of course they were OW with husband dreams/nightmares. And after waking up I carried that yicky bad dream feeling around all day. It is just your emotions and feelings carrying over....I feel. Congrats on moving on...hang in there. I will also say that the day after I told my husband he was free to go be with OW, the dreams were worse, Go Figure! Thank you raincloud. I really appreciate you comment especially when it comes from a BS. Sorry to hear about your H and OW. Yeah...dream can sure make us feel worse! The feelings and images can stick around in our mind for a long time too.... Hope you feel better very soon.
Author Onelife Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 I guess facing realities like this is the only way to move forward without them so pain notwithstanding a positive sign. Very true!
Author Onelife Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 In dreams, when we sleep, the subconscious mind kicks in and brings up the things that we have been consciously suppressing. Even without the dreams or remembering dreams, I wake up and immediately remember things that I have racked my brain over for days. And yes the bad things that I don't want to think about that I put away all day come back as soon as I drift off. Haven't slept in days because of this. That is what I am afraid of. I did not sleep well at all last night. Not a healthy way.
Author Onelife Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 Maybe it's in the back of some ow's minds questioning/wondering if mm & his wife are intimate. Hence, the nightmare's of the two being intimate. They do! I just don't want to think about it then it gets me when I sleep. Well...this too will pass.
upto_here Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Now that I decided to quit and move on and it's been 13 days already after the NC. Now that I think I am doing better and start to feel ok with my everyday life again. I just had to have this dream of xMM and W making love right in front of me! Yep...loud and clear! Now I just can't get rid of that thought. I feel so bad and it's like I am kicked back to where I started!!! ;)hi one life....all i can say is you are not the only one here..as you can see from a few of us post your reply......and i'm one of them....i think that what we fear most is always come back and haunted you one way or another...the more we try to shut down all the pictures the more its pops up....and i think because you are in progress of NC its makes you think more.Believe it or not me and my < i don't know what to call him,put it this way then>present ,past and future MM went tru a lot lately and every story its always in my dream ...and sometime its getting in my nerves that may be that what they actually do....and its sure does raise my goose bump... one things is we are human we don't want to share what we love and cherish most to anyone...and its always in the back of our mind ,the more you try to block it the more its stare at you....i think the best thing to do is relax...imagine....you sit down on the beach in your sexy swimsuit..and sexy like hell ,.cocktail in one hand ...looking at people walk by ,,then suddenly theres a gorgeous guys<well! don't have to be!! most of them they all taken or gay!!!>staring at you ....what will you do if you knew he is available? take your chance mate !!! enjoy life......hey just the thought to cheer you up right!! if i make any sense:D DREAM IS NOT ALWAYS COME TRUE...WE ALL KNOW IT
Author Onelife Posted June 22, 2007 Author Posted June 22, 2007 Now that I decided to quit and move on and it's been 13 days already after the NC. Now that I think I am doing better and start to feel ok with my everyday life again. I just had to have this dream of xMM and W making love right in front of me! Yep...loud and clear! Now I just can't get rid of that thought. I feel so bad and it's like I am kicked back to where I started!!! ;)hi one life....all i can say is you are not the only one here..as you can see from a few of us post your reply......and i'm one of them....i think that what we fear most is always come back and haunted you one way or another...the more we try to shut down all the pictures the more its pops up....and i think because you are in progress of NC its makes you think more.Believe it or not me and my < i don't know what to call him,put it this way then>present ,past and future MM went tru a lot lately and every story its always in my dream ...and sometime its getting in my nerves that may be that what they actually do....and its sure does raise my goose bump... one things is we are human we don't want to share what we love and cherish most to anyone...and its always in the back of our mind ,the more you try to block it the more its stare at you....i think the best thing to do is relax...imagine....you sit down on the beach in your sexy swimsuit..and sexy like hell ,.cocktail in one hand ...looking at people walk by ,,then suddenly theres a gorgeous guys<well! don't have to be!! most of them they all taken or gay!!!>staring at you ....what will you do if you knew he is available? take your chance mate !!! enjoy life......hey just the thought to cheer you up right!! if i make any sense:D DREAM IS NOT ALWAYS COME TRUE...WE ALL KNOW IT LOL :lmao:Thank you uptohere. Your post sum it all up very well and it cheers me up a lot! It also sounds like you are feeling better yourself too. I like that idea of sitting by the beach!!!!! Wouldn't it be fun if we OWs could get together by the beach with lots of cocktail drinks and talk about our MMs, mostly about how we see this A in the different light and how to get over them!
Shades of Grey Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Wouldn't it be fun if we OWs could get together by the beach with lots of cocktail drinks and talk about our MMs, mostly about how we see this A in the different light and how to get over them! Talk about therapeutic!
sadbuttrue Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 onelife, i have dreamed about MM and his W before. i dont like to think of them being together at all, so i see how suppressing that might bring it out in your dreams. mostly though, my dreams are of me and W being friends, very strange. i do think about them being together almost everynight before i go to bed. i think-what are they doing? are they having sex right now? it makes me sick, but in a way i think of it as a reality check. he is not really mine, he is hers, and i had best remember that. so it can be useful in a sad sort of way
Author Onelife Posted June 23, 2007 Author Posted June 23, 2007 onelife, i have dreamed about MM and his W before. i dont like to think of them being together at all, so i see how suppressing that might bring it out in your dreams. mostly though, my dreams are of me and W being friends, very strange. i do think about them being together almost everynight before i go to bed. i think-what are they doing? are they having sex right now? it makes me sick, but in a way i think of it as a reality check. he is not really mine, he is hers, and i had best remember that. so it can be useful in a sad sort of way I agree! Now I can answer my own question about how I can make that dream positive. It is a reality check that is useful in a sad way. Yes! That is it! It is to remind me of the fact that he is my "MM"(x so to speak) not "BF" or "H". That's why he is where he is doing what I see in my dream! It's for my best to remember so I can keep my two feet on earth....not my dream....not even in my dream!
IWALH Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Wouldn't it be fun if we OWs could get together by the beach with lots of cocktail drinks and talk about our MMs, mostly about how we see this A in the different light and how to get over them! Talk about therapeutic! Haha, I think we should have some kind of an OW convention or something! Hehehe.
mopar crazy Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 Not a OW here, but a BW. Shortly after dday I also had a dream about WH and the OW having sex. I felt like I was right in the room w/ them, watching only a few feet away. It felt so real. When I finally woke up from the nightmare I couldn't get it out of my head for several days. My doctor had to prescribe me medication b/c I kept having dreams about them. It wasn't always about sex but I couldn't handle it anymore. I just wanted to sleep w/o waking up in tears! There was one day the kids and I were watching a movie. I fell asleep on the couch. I woke myself up yelling "DAMN YOU A (WH)!" My son was almost 10 at the time. He asked me if I was ok. He could tell it was tearing me up inside. I had several dreams where I would talk in my sleep yelling at H. I don't ever recall having dreams yelling at the OW. I did have one dream where I was beating the total crap out of her though.
Havn_a_life Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 LOL Everytime I dream of beating someone up I am swinging as hard as I can but it doesn't even hurt them.
mopar crazy Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 LOL Everytime I dream of beating someone up I am swinging as hard as I can but it doesn't even hurt them. LOL! I know what you mean, I have the same dreams. It's like your fist are going in slow motion, at least for me it does. But this dream was different, I was actually beating the crap out of her and she was just laying there trying to block my blows. I would grab her up from the floor then throw her back down and start punching her again. I have never been in a fight IRL b4 until I was in college. My best friend and I were roommates. She thought I was after this guy she liked. (YUCK, I wasn't, he was after ME!). She came flying into my bedroom where my BF and I were. She jumped on me and I got her off me and started slamming her against the wall as hard as I could. It all seemed slow motioned and I wasn't hurting her, at least I don't think I was. I had been drinking so maybe that was part of it too. Anyway, she pushed me back down on my bed and I went to throw a punch at her face but she grabbed my wrist and told me to stop, she wanted to talk. F@ck that, I wanted to beat the crap out of her! How dare that bitch come barging into MY bedroom where my BF and I were and picking a fight w/ me!
IWALH Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 LOL Everytime I dream of beating someone up I am swinging as hard as I can but it doesn't even hurt them. ME TOO!!! How weird!! And I have never been in a physical fight in my entire life.
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