This is what the guys need to know if they never want to end up on these boards again

June 21, 2007

This applies to men who have been dumped for reasons where they feel like they did nothing wrong or got dumped for minor reasons.

This is a simple rule that all guys should know. It doesn't matter if you have been dumped and acted like a desperate man and begged her back. It's in the past. But if you never want to end up on these boards again, if you never want to be hurt by a woman, this is what you need to know. I learned this after many years of heartache. Most men already know this. Some women will disagree with this. Don't mind them. This you need to know so you never end up here again. Are you ready for something you know already but maybe refused to follow? Here it is;

Human beings, especially women, place a higher value on something they cannot have or are afraid of losing.

Read this carefully. If a woman (of any age, especially young ones) feel that they can have you anytime, or know that they cannot lose your love, affection, or loyalty no matter what they do, WILL dump you immediately. It is called loss of attraction. If you know these two simple things, and what they mean (no it doesn't mean keeping a girl in fear), you will be successful in 90% of relationships you will encounter. If you never want to end up here again, stop listening to romanticized, feminine, and emotional aspects of relationships. If you are affectionate, loyal, loving man with boundaries and self worth (her proving that she should win your love, her being dumped on her ass if she offends you) you will succeed. Don't worry if you got dumped, just follow this simple rule so it doesn't happen again.

June 21, 2007

I kind of agree with that, but i am one of those caring guys, and i would'nt be happy in myself if i could'nt be myself, and if she does'nt want me for who i am, then i will find someone who does. As long as we keep our self respect, in and out of a relationship, thats the main thing. (not begging to come back if were dumped) Maybe with younger people that attitude may be easy, but as i get older, i feel i want to be me and cant pretend to be this hard guy and not play head games with a women that i love. It will be more energy than its worth. More than keep a women in suspence, i think if you have self respect and stick to what you belive, thats all we can do. My ex was very high maintenace, and yes your way would have been right, but in the scale of things, although she (2nd time around) finished with me, i dont think i would ever go back to her, and if i knew what kind of relationship i was in for (i ignord the sighns) then i would have never got into it in the first place!.

June 21, 2007

Please carefully read the post.

If you are a 20 year old man or a 67 year old man. This applies. This has nothing to do with not being yourself. This has nothing to do with games. This has nothing to do with fear, intimidation, or anything else that is manipulative. Please read this post carefully.

June 21, 2007

Narcassism i just read about it.....thats what my ex was, my god.....to a T and i woud'nt even wanna hold on to her now, even as a freind! so maybe we also have to decide whats good for us before we even fall in love , like hold back until we know that they are the real deal. Its true she was perfect at first, then the true side came out! Some people you are better to walk away from rather than try to keep them.

June 21, 2007

Human beings, especially women, place a higher value on something they cannot have or are afraid of losing.

I have been becoming aware of this, but honestly when I did I thought "MEN place a higher value on something they cannot have or are afraid of losing." Now I realize that's because I'm looking at it as a female. This is what happened with my ex, and variations have happened with many guys I know about.

So I would say for a lot of men and women who were dumped for vague reasons, this is why. Good post.

June 21, 2007

Pretty good thread for 5 in the morning!

June 21, 2007

"If you are affectionate, loyal, loving man with boundaries and self worth (her proving that she should win your love, her being dumped on her ass if she offends you) you will succeed. Don't worry if you got dumped, just follow this simple rule so it doesn't happen again."

The same thing also applies to women who don't want to get dumped - respect yourself, don't let anyone mess you around and show the man you're seeing that YOU will dump HIM if he doesn't treat you with respect. (Not through threats and mind games but through your own confident and self respecting attitudes.)
In order to be valued you have to feel that you are valuable and show that through your behaviour.
Although I like to believe in second chances and think they are sometimes possible, in general I don't think they work, precisely because by taking someone back when they have treated you badly you are showing that you'll put up with more than you should - that you don't think you are very valuable. In general, what happens, therefore, is that you end up getting the same treatment another time round, which further reduces your self esteem and makes it more likely you will get dumped again ... and again ... and again.
It's not a gender thing it's a people thing and easier for some than others, mainly because some people grow up with more self esteem than others. But confidence and self esteem can be consciously acquired later in life - which is the good news.

June 23, 2007

This applies to men who have been dumped for reasons where they feel like they did nothing wrong or got dumped for minor reasons.

This is a simple rule that all guys should know. It doesn't matter if you have been dumped and acted like a desperate man and begged her back. It's in the past. But if you never want to end up on these boards again, if you never want to be hurt by a woman, this is what you need to know. I learned this after many years of heartache. Most men already know this. Some women will disagree with this. Don't mind them. This you need to know so you never end up here again. Are you ready for something you know already but maybe refused to follow? Here it is;

Human beings, especially women, place a higher value on something they cannot have or are afraid of losing.

Read this carefully. If a woman (of any age, especially young ones) feel that they can have you anytime, or know that they cannot lose your love, affection, or loyalty no matter what they do, WILL dump you immediately. It is called loss of attraction. If you know these two simple things, and what they mean (no it doesn't mean keeping a girl in fear), you will be successful in 90% of relationships you will encounter. If you never want to end up here again, stop listening to romanticized, feminine, and emotional aspects of relationships. If you are affectionate, loyal, loving man with boundaries and self worth (her proving that she should win your love, her being dumped on her ass if she offends you) you will succeed. Don't worry if you got dumped, just follow this simple rule so it doesn't happen again.

So what it boils down to is: don't be a doormat or put up with BS. Have some boundaries, demand a certain level of respect, and if you don't get it then just walk. Is that a fair summary of what you're trying to say?

June 23, 2007

Whather or not she respects you is the number one factor in whether a woman will stay attracted to a man. A woman will not respect a man who puts up with her crap so men need to learn to stand up for themselves.

June 23, 2007

Im gonna get hang for this one, but women only understand JERKS.....

June 23, 2007

trent you are assuming you can control someone else's feelings. Sometimes people just lose their feelings and it is nobody's fault. It just happens.

June 23, 2007

I think this may be true at the start of any relationship where the one person who seems to care less is the one in control. However, you can't build a longterm relationship based on a head game.

I've been in a relationship where I was the indifferent type and gotten dumped. So, that theroy flies out the window.

June 23, 2007

totally agree..i made that mistake once with a hot girl and got canned...She was so pleasant in every way before i knew it i was enslaved..haha..I really dont think theres anything you can do with really cute, hot girls...they know you want them and theres nothing you can do about it..they own you in a sense...you saying you dont want them is just a lie and they know it!

June 23, 2007

But confidence and self esteem can be consciously acquired later in life - which is the good news.

The statement trent made is something I have difficulty applying and I know it has to do with self esteem.

How can I raise my confidence and self esteem? I really dont know anymore...

June 23, 2007

New Hope,

Most women but not the ones here;)

Funny thing is you do not see jerks posting here on LS. What i read from other guys posting here echos alot of what i feel. I am not a jerk maybe thats why i lost the one i love.

She'll prolly end up up with some douche nozzel and then realize when its too late. That thought gives me strength.

June 23, 2007

Here is my reply to some of you. Some have the right idea. The others still think its a game.

So what it boils down to is: don't be a doormat or put up with BS. Have some boundaries, demand a certain level of respect, and if you don't get it then just walk. Is that a fair summary of what you're trying to say?

Yes. This is close to what I am talking about. Remember, the purpose of this thread was not for a successful relationship. It was so that you have enough self respect where you are doing the dumping when a girl (hot or not) treats you badly.

Whather or not she respects you is the number one factor in whether a woman will stay attracted to a man. A woman will not respect a man who puts up with her crap so men need to learn to stand up for themselves

This is a huge part of attraction. Respect=attraction. It happens in the real world and not just in the dating world. It is a sense of self value. Other people are drawn to strength, not weakness.

trent you are assuming you can control someone else's feelings. Sometimes people just lose their feelings and it is nobody's fault. It just happens.

This is true. But you have a SIGNIFICANT higher chance of keeping their feelings for you if you love yourself. It takes a person of shaky and sometimes flawed character to avoid people who are strong. Girls who are psycho are one of them. Girls with severe emotional problems will be threatened by a confident man. So they will seek out someone who doesn't threatened them. But if she loses feelings for you. Do you really want her?

Im gonna get hang for this one, but women only understand JERKS.....

No! Women like men who seem like jerks. Because they like men who take care of themselves first. They like selfish men (not selfish in an extreme sort of way). A man who doesn't succomb to all her needs to put away his. A man who acts like a jerk because he doesn't tolerate someone in his world unless she proves it to him. Apart from the physical attraction, apart from the personality attraction, this is very important for women initially and during a relationship.

I think this may be true at the start of any relationship where the one person who seems to care less is the one in control. However, you can't build a longterm relationship based on a head game.

I've been in a relationship where I was the indifferent type and gotten dumped. So, that theroy flies out the window.

NO! You have to understand something. The one who is in control is the one who loves himself. In our world, a man who doesn't love himself, who has no emotional control, or is weak and fragile and needs a woman's approval for everything in his life, is considered a flawed character. Its been like that since the beginning of time. Even if you got a girl with your money or your looks, she will run if you cry more than she does. She won't run physically, but she will run emotionally. It is not a head game, you cannot be indifferent. You be good to yourself and her. But the point is you are maintaining attraction and not getting your heart broken. This is not about getting a girl, this is about not getting hurt by those who don't love you. Many other variables on getting and keeping your dream girl. But this is vital to keeping her attraction high and keeping your mental state of being away from her control.

totally agree..i made that mistake once with a hot girl and got canned...She was so pleasant in every way before i knew it i was enslaved..haha..I really dont think theres anything you can do with really cute, hot girls...they know you want them and theres nothing you can do about it..they own you in a sense...you saying you dont want them is just a lie and they know it!

This is true as well. But remember, the object of this post is so you don't get dumped by a hot girl. If you follow this advice you will get many hot girls (maybe) so that one hits. Hot girls are insecure. Hot girls who are young is almost impossible. Cause they have so many options. But if you stick to my way of thinking, even if that hot girl walks away from you she will a) not hurt you and give you heartache, because you know what you are capable of and what you want b) she will always respect you for standing up for yourself. She will not categorize you as the ones who cried and chased after her. Other women will be attracted to that. And they will pick up what the other one didn't want. You do want them, but you don't want someone who doesn't want you either. So you see the signes (disrespect, not being happy) and just walk away no matter how hot she is.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT GETTING OR KEEPING A GIRL. ITS ABOUT LOVING YOURSELF AND RESPECTING YOURSELF ENOUGH SO THAT YOU NEVER GET "DUMPED" BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.

June 23, 2007

No! Women like men who seem like jerks. Because they like men who take care of themselves first. They like selfish men (not selfish in an extreme sort of way). A man who doesn't succomb to all her needs to put away his. A man who acts like a jerk because he doesn't tolerate someone in his world unless she proves it to him. Apart from the physical attraction, apart from the personality attraction, this is very important for women initially and during a relationship.

Wrong. I can only speak for myself but if a guy acts like a jerk, he's probably a jerk, so he's gone.

I do agree that you don't have to succumb to all her needs, just like she doesn't have to provide all yours. It's a happy balance of compromise.

June 23, 2007

This is true as well. But remember, the object of this post is so you don't get dumped by a hot girl. If you follow this advice you will get many hot girls (maybe) so that one hits. Hot girls are insecure. Hot girls who are young is almost impossible. Cause they have so many options. But if you stick to my way of thinking, even if that hot girl walks away from you she will a) not hurt you and give you heartache, because you know what you are capable of and what you want b) she will always respect you for standing up for yourself. She will not categorize you as the ones who cried and chased after her. Other women will be attracted to that. And they will pick up what the other one didn't want. You do want them, but you don't want someone who doesn't want you either. So you see the signes (disrespect, not being happy) and just walk away no matter how hot she is.

I agree to some extent i guess....you can manipulate them and play the game....for me it would be like a lie i was just feeding them...i really want to have sex and a relationship with that girl i like, and theres not much i can really do to be otherwise...they have me hooked...The idea i think is to maintain your manhood and not let go of your integrity and become pussy-whipped...they dont like whipped guys..but they also dont like rigid dudes that stick to their manhood at all costs...they want a guy that acknowledges the power of their beauty but isnt a slave to it..that respects it and honors it but doesn't worship it.

June 23, 2007

my experience has been with really in demand cute girls that they eventually settle on some doughy, somewhat weaker, submissive, nice-guy who is also somewhat manly...they dont like really strong, macho dominant men and they dont like pussy-whipped guys that do everything they say...they also like guys that have a lot of women after them..they like competing for a guy thats in demand...status is a big factor...if they think a guy has status theyll want him and go after him.

June 23, 2007

Human beings, especially women, place a higher value on something they cannot have or are afraid of losing.

thanx for the reminder but this fact is already common knowledge as far as I'm concerned...

June 24, 2007

frd thats a bloody good point. it seems that all the guys on here are pretty cool and stable! maybe this should be a dating site!

June 24, 2007

Human beings, especially women, place a higher value on something they cannot have or are afraid of losing.

I just went to a bar last night and told every single girl there that I was NOT available and they could never have me!

I went home alone!

What did I do wrong?

June 24, 2007

Human beings, especially women, place a higher value on something they cannot have or are afraid of losing.

Bullsh*t!!

I just recently kicked a guy to the curb for that very same attitude and he was shocked. This "cool-hand-Luke" crap doesn't get it with me, and for the most part, it doesn't get it for most women. Oh...it might work on the very young and naive, but for those of us who have been around the block a few times...this attitude/behavior will get you nada.

If a guy treats me with indifference, why would I even WANT to bother with him? Women (as well as men) want to know that the feelings of attraction/affection/admiration and respect goes both ways. Otherwise, it becomes a one-way relationship and who the hell wants that???

You know, there are far too many games being played in the world and a relationship shouldn't become one of them. If I can't let my hair down, just be myself around my SO, then what good is having a relationship at all? Relationship are SUPPOSE to bring you joy, comfort, campanionship.

Not more games, grief and headaches.

The day I have to play games to stay in a relationship, to keep my SO interested...is the day I walk away and not look back.

Sorry Trent - but you're waaaaay off the mark here.

~T~

June 24, 2007

I just went to a bar last night and told every single girl there that I was NOT available and they could never have me!

I went home alone!

What did I do wrong?

:::::Laughing::::::

~T~

June 24, 2007

Yeah, Tor, I missed you. How are you girl?

BTW, I love your post and couldn't agree more.

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