CaliGuy Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 NO! Never trust a woman to tell you what works with other women. Women who see women in a nice outfit will criticize her clothing. Women who see women in an ugly outfit will complement her clothing. You can't trust them! If a man loves women, he MUST figure out what works and what doesn't work. But don't trust women to TEACH us ANYTHING! They'll only tell you what they wish would work. Like "buy us flowers, nice dinners, open the car door" and so on. If you try all that - you get walked on. But ... if you turn a**hole, then you get girlfriends - lots of them. Oh and a married woman??? Oh whatever NO! Not even her! She'll only teach you what she wishes her husband would do for her!!! She doesn't care about you - OK? ... She's on the other team Yes. DO turn into an ahole if you want lots of low quality girlfriends. The kind you can't keep; and quality one's won't touch you with a 10 foot pole. Being an ahole is as bad as being a door mat.
GregsBad Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Wow, you just lost all respect in my book... OUCH! I know it's offensive to some. Some girls want us to not notice the junk, or at least pretend and say nothing. But I've noticed that girls with nice asses don't mind the subject as much
GregsBad Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Why would she be pissed at me ?.. 8.5 to 9 is pretty damn hot in my book .. I know, that was a joke. I think her post about the timing of the phone call was right on target and she is speaking as someone that is in the dating game.. I agree, she sounds nice to me too.
GregsBad Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Yes. DO turn into an ahole if you want lots of low quality girlfriends. The kind you can't keep; and quality one's won't touch you with a 10 foot pole. Being an ahole is as bad as being a door mat. It's not about being a REAL a**hole! It's about being strong, assertive, not needy. ... just sort of an a**hole. Listen, anytime an attractive woman gets pissed that you didn't call? It's a GOOD thing. All that talk about low quality / high quality girlfirends ... sounds a little nerdy to me. No offense ok. There are plenty of hgh quality, attractive females who WANT to be a little naughty, and they WANT a guy who is a little edgy and sexy, someone who will make them naughty. Then if, on top of the edginess, he's stable and successful - and doesn't lie Likes to cook, share in housework, etc etc I'd say he's ahead of the game. It all goes back to having game and know when to call or not call. When to abruptly have to hang up and say "talk to you later" It's NOT always good to call right away. (staying on topic )
sadfish Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Ok, just for a different perspective--what about girl who calls a guy?! I've recently met someone i REALLY like, and that doesn't happen to me very often...lol. We hung out in a group situation, but he walked into it knowing that i at least found him very cute and charming--things went well as far as i can tell. So i'm curious as what to do next. We've emailed since but nothing major. Part of me really wants to call him--he says he's into confident women--but another part of me says no...let him come after me, for fear of looking "desperate" like you men have said women can do in the past...lol So what's the word on girls calling guys?! Is is a fine like between confidence and desperation to a guy?
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 So are you pretty succsesful with this? Define the word "successful".
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 More like an 11.5... pleaze... Awww, Krytie!! Why would she be pissed at me ?.. 8.5 to 9 is pretty damn hot in my book and I don't know her except from the few pics that she has posted here.. I'll take an 8.5 and/or a 9, no shame in that. I think her post about the timing of the phone call was right on target and she is speaking as someone that is in the dating game.. Finally, another man of reason!! That's nice. So are you sure there's no junk in thr trunk? I've seen great face shots ... and then oooops! I've seen some beautiful faces sitting at the bar ... but she should never get off the stool and walk away til everyone else has gone home. Are you seriously talking about ME in such a classless fashion? Shame, shame. That said, I've never been a booty girl. All my "junk" us pretty much in my boobs.
tanbark813 Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 So what's the word on girls calling guys?! Is is a fine like between confidence and desperation to a guy? Depends on the guy but for me I like it when the girl calls. IME, the girls who have taken the initiative to call tend to be more attentive lovers and partners.
sadfish Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Depends on the guy but for me I like it when the girl calls. IME, the girls who have taken the initiative to call tend to be more attentive lovers and partners. But isn't that too a fine line between attentive and clingy? lol
tanbark813 Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 But isn't that too a fine line between attentive and clingy? lol Perhaps, but again it depends on the guy. I like a little clinginess. It's cute.
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Perhaps, but again it depends on the guy. I like a little clinginess. It's cute. Pfffft. Congrats on hitting 5K, babycakes! :bunny:
sadfish Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 See, now i like to not be clingy, but attentive, but often i feel like it gets misconstrued into being clingy. I swear i need a secret decoder ring for dating...lol I give a guy space, but i like to do little things like get him stuff when he's sick with a cold, or provide him with a good meal--is that too "mothering" or something? lol Well, this guy, i invited him to another group thing this weekend, but i acknowledged that it was short notice (2 days) so i figured he wouldn't accept, and he didn't which is fine (he laid out everything he was doing though to me--which a male friend told me that's a good sign i.e. he likes me ?!) but he said to make sure i message him if/when he's online...so i'm taking this as a positive, right? lol I don't want to be too pushy though, so i'm thinking to not call him--am i right? arrgghh!! lol
tanbark813 Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Congrats on hitting 5K, babycakes! :bunny: Ohhhhhh, I didn't even notice that. Thanks!
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 To answer an earlier question, women give out contact info when they don't want a call usually because they don't know how to say no and fear being seen as a b*tch or getting a negative reaction to their refusal. The pressure to avoid awkwardness is even greater when the guy asking is a friend of a friend, whom you will likely run into again, as it sounds is the case here. The fact that you got an e-mail addy rather than a phone number isn't a great sign, however. But then again, some people prefer to communicate with the written word, and it does help weed out those who can't spell! Times when guys have made their interest in me clear early on without hesitation, I was thrilled, really bowled over. I can't speak on what you should do with all women or what all women want, only my own experiences/feelings. Of course, the same day is a little odd, but anytime after that is probably ok. I myself am a bit ADDish, and given too many days, my interest is likely to wane unless the guy is just searingly hot, and that happens almost never. I do agree with Gregsbad that girls tend to be won over by a guy who is slight a**holey, but that schtick will only get you so far and does get old pretty quickly. It does help get you in the door but keeping it up is a bad idea. However, I don't think calling soon is the mark of a "nice guy" or an a**hole, merely a guy who knows what he wants and is making an effort. That being said, guys tend to be busy and/or forgetful, so I try not to read into it too much if he takes a while to call, provided it's not a month later. About calling a guy, unless you are SURE he's interested in you (how you'd determine that, I have no idea), I would tend to avoid that because guys will go along with talking to a girl they are not that interested in for the sake of getting laid, assuming she looks okay. Then you end up getting shafted after the fact.
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Some of us are selective and do not pushover due to peer/male pressure unless it's something we also want. My number is reserved for those I wish to talk to.
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 right, you're a better woman than i am, TBF. i was just speaking in a general sense as to why some girls give out their number (someone asked?) when they are not really interested. many of my gfs admit they are eager to please and/or fearful of being disliked. i, too, have this problem. sometimes, sadly, i even just want attention from a guy to feel better about myself, and how i feel about him is almost immaterial. screwed up, i know. i didn't use to be this bad, but in recent years my confidence has eroded significantly. i am attractive enough compared to my peer group and am often complimented on my figure, but i often get depressed that i don't look the same as i did when i was in my early 20s. people don't react the same way to me as they used to, probably more because of how i carry myself than how i look. i just don't get the feeling that anyone finds anything appealing about me other than my appearance, and that is already fading. sorry to be all woe is me. just sayin'. so...how do you go about politely turning people down when they ask for your digits, TBF? i'm reallly bad about thinking on my feet so end up going along with it and being a pushover.
GregsBad Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Define the word "successful". I didn't expect an honest answer.
tanbark813 Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 so...how do you go about politely turning people down when they ask for your digits, TBF? I know it wasn't directed at me but from a guy's POV a polite, "I'm flattered but not interested" is much much much preferred over getting the number, calling, and then never hearing from her.
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 No doubt every woman enjoys male attention. Denial of such would be just that...denial...but...each woman has to draw a boundary that she's comfortable with. If someone asks me for my number when I feel they're interested and I'm not, I'll just tell them either a simple "no" or that I don't know them well enough to give it out. You'd be surprised at how persistent certain guys can be until you end up being rude with a flat out "I'd rather die than to give out my number to you".
GregsBad Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 So what's the word on girls calling guys?! Is is a fine like between confidence and desperation to a guy? Ok - here's my honest answer in my opinion Guys don't get the calls as much as girls do. It's not comparable. So the chances of pleasing or impressing him with the call is greater. But you still might not succede. Now here's my absolute B.S. answer - to mock some of the other BS answers here ... ready? "You should call him right away honey. If you really have feelings for him then don't play games. Besides, he might think you lack confidence. I hate it when girls even wonder if they should call ... I don't like those games."
tanbark813 Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Ok - here's my honest answer in my opinion Guys don't get the calls as much as girls do. It's not comparable. So the chances of pleasing or impressing him with the call is greater. But you still might not succede. Now here's my absolute B.S. answer - to mock some of the other BS answers here ... ready? "You should call him right away honey. If you really have feelings for him then don't play games. Besides, he might think you lack confidence. I hate it when girls even wonder if they should call ... I don't like those games." GB for the win!
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Thanks, tan and tbf. I know it might sound like common sense, but I guess I have a hard time saying no in general. "Can I have your number?" "No." Heh. I realize it's better to be forthright, I just have a hard time doing it. Another stupid thing is, I find oftentimes I have been enjoying talking to a guy just for its own sake (not attracted but just enjoying a conversation), but after the refusal to dole out contact info, of course he's going to walk away, and that makes me sad in some odd way. Probably because I have abandonment issues stemming from my mum leaving over and over again when I was a kid and then not living with my dad. Gah! Again with the woe is me. No more of that for today, I promise.
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 I didn't expect an honest answer. Once again, define "successful". When you do so, you will get an answer. I don't believe in answering moving target questions.
GregsBad Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 i was just speaking in a general sense as to why some girls give out their number (someone asked?) when they are not really interested. many of my gfs admit they are eager to please and/or fearful of being disliked. i, too, have this problem. sometimes, sadly, i even just want attention from a guy to feel better about myself, and how i feel about him is almost immaterial. screwed up, i know. I understand this ... and I appreciate you candor. BTW - are you getting this ART? FWIW: I don't mind when this happens, I completely understand, if I get a vote, DoIAsk, ... just keep on what you're doing. For me - as long as SOME of the numbers turn out to be from girls who are really pleased that I called back. At least SOME OK? Now TanBark has a 500 batting average leaving me unworthy My batting average is lower, but I'm very happy with 300.
doiask42much Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 So Tan is the man, eh? This may be totally rude and inappropriate, but did Tan and SG hit it? It doesn't seem so, so she probably lowered his batting average!
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