Huntr777 Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Hey all, been quite a while since I posted on here. Let me ask the question right off the bat...after you get someone's email or phone number, how soon should you wait to call or email? Case in point...Saturday I'm on the beach, and am introduced to a really beautiful woman. She was being chatted up by a few interested guys (myself included), I just made small talk with her about the beach, the weather, etc. Then the clouds rolled in and thunder was heard in the distance...that meant off the beach for everyone. As I was packing up I asked for her email, which she gave me. I then told her I hoped to see her again on the beach, she smiled and said the same. I stayed over a friends place that night, and came home the next afternoon. I checked my email, and since I had her on my mind decided to write and say hello. Well here it is 3 days later and no email back. I mentioned this to a female friend, and she said I broke the 3 day rule. I'm in my 30's and to me this 3 day rule thing sounded archaic. Does anybody abide by this? I understand there is such a thing as being too eager, but I don't think I am in this case. If somebody emails 24 hours later, is that seen as too fast? So, anybody here want to weigh in on this one? Did I break the 3 day rule and that's why no email back? H777
Star Gazer Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 There is no lame 3 day rule (PARTICULARLY in your 30's when you're supposed to be "mature"). So long as you don't call/email/whatever that same day/night, you're in the clear. And IMO, the sooner you contact her (CALLING is preferred) the better. Unless you received a read receipt or used MySpace, you don't even know if she's checked her email yet. So try to chill out for now.
IpAncA Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 These dating rules are stupid IMO. If both people like each other then stop the games and date. I shake my head at anyone who plays by these so called "rules." Just leads to game playing which I don't tolerate. Also if someone gets turned off by someone not playing by these "rules," their not relationship material IMO. Sorry but that's how I feel on this. I'd wait and see what happends and please stop worrying about "rules."
Author Huntr777 Posted June 20, 2007 Author Posted June 20, 2007 These dating rules are stupid IMO. If both people like each other then stop the games and date. I shake my head at anyone who plays by these so called "rules." Just leads to game playing which I don't tolerate. Also if someone gets turned off by someone not playing by these "rules," their not relationship material IMO. Sorry but that's how I feel on this. I'd wait and see what happends and please stop worrying about "rules." Hey there, not worrying about rules, just wanted to make sure I'm not breaking some unwritten rule about dating since I'm just getting back into the swing of dating. H777
oppath Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 I can't guarantee I'll call the next day. But I won't wait 3. I have, but it seems pointless as a rule. If a girl is interested, it is not when you call, it is what you say when you call and how often you call, which can be several times a week right away if they like you and you keep it brief, to set up a date, confirm a date, and thank her for the date. You didn't do anything wrong, and understand that no response has nothing to do with you or emailing her the next day. Nothing. It's possible she is seeing someone, etc, and didn't want to reject you in front of a crowd of people. While it would be nice for her to say "no thanks" in response, don't count on it. People flake. There is a girl on my vball team who missed the first game but I met at a social function later that week. She mentioned her birthday was the next week but had no plans (intern in town, doesn't really know anyone). I offered to gather some people together and take her out, because you have to go out on your 21st birthday. She said sure and we could talk about it on the weekend at the game. She didn't come to the game. I'm team captain. I notice these things. So I sent an email saying "sorry if you couldn't make it to the game. We had a blast but were short on players. Hopefully you can make it next week. Have you decided to round anyone up to go out for your birthday?" No response. This is someone I talked to for a solid 20 minutes, and in no way was I laying on the charm as a potential date. But I got no response? Wow, I must have screwed up! No, likely she has a boyfriend and was uncomfortable interacting with someone as handsome as me . Big whoop. It's not the end of the world. I wasn't even pursuing her romantically, seriously, just on a friendship vibe given my situation. Sometimes women give out numbers and emails out of courtesy and have no intention of following through. It doesn't have anything to do with you as a person or how you approached them.
monkey00 Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 3 days is too long to call someone, its easy for someone to lose interest in addition to forgetting about you. General rule of thumb is call when you want to. As long as you dont come off desperate, should be fine.
TheSilentType Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 This happens to EVERY guy. Don't worry yourself about what you did wrong. Just chalk it up as a flaky experience, and move on. You'll never find out, and frankly its not even worth it.
Krytellan Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 You're getting good advice here. You probably don't want the kind of relationship in which you have to wait three days to contact her.
grape Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Call her, and speak loudly to accentuate your manliness.
Trialbyfire Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Noooo, please do not yell into the phone... I've yet to meet a guy who follows the three day rule, including guys who were interested, and by chatting with male friends. My guy friends laugh about it.
BoBs Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Those seemingly stupid dating rules have been around for so long cause they work some of the time. Waiting for a while before calling her is a good idea, it makes you seem more intresting. Someone who can just drop everything and jump after any random girl he meets is most likley not doing anything with his life and thus is a boring person. They don't like to admit it but thats what goes through thier heads.
Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 Noooo, please do not yell into the phone... I've yet to meet a guy who follows the three day rule, including guys who were interested, and by chatting with male friends. My guy friends laugh about it. In my personal experience, you're absolutely right. It's BS. And I hate BS. And I see through it. And so would any woman with a brain in her head.
Trialbyfire Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 In my personal experience, you're absolutely right. It's BS. And I hate BS. And I see through it. And so would any woman with a brain in her head. To be fair, some women do fall for it...
Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 To be fair, some women do fall for it... Of course. Those with no brains in their heads! Can you say B-I-M-B-O? You know the type don't you? Blonde hair, big fake boobs, insecure and clingy? (No offense meant to anyone who fits the description of course.)
Trialbyfire Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 Of course. Those with no brains in their heads! Can you say B-I-M-B-O? You know the type don't you? Blonde hair, big fake boobs, insecure and clingy? (No offense meant to anyone who fits the description of course.) Don't forget 6" heels with 4" skirts.
johan Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 If you're into a girl, then be into her. Don't screw around with it, because you'll end up giving her mixed signals. Mixed signals are ok if you're trying to manipulate them. But if you want them to like you for who you are, then just be who you are. I break rules all the time. I sometimes won't wait ten minutes to call. I'll call the next morning. Not for a long talk about deep stuff. But just for a quick touch base. But I leave little doubt as to what I want and how I feel. Most of the time. If I get a signal that tells me to cool it, then I won't press. But it's surprising sometimes how much it means to a woman to know you have no reservations. The only other things you need are attraction and fun, and you can throw the rule book out the window. I think that's the right kind of confidence to work on.
Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 Don't forget 6" heels with 4" skirts. :laugh:Of course...that goes without saying. And why is it that they always believe that the guy will call them the next day? DUH? Hello? Wake up, honey!
Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 If you're into a girl, then be into her. Don't screw around with it, because you'll end up giving her mixed signals. Mixed signals are ok if you're trying to manipulate them. But if you want them to like you for who you are, then just be who you are. I break rules all the time. I sometimes won't wait ten minutes to call. I'll call the next morning. Not for a long talk about deep stuff. But just for a quick touch base. But I leave little doubt as to what I want and how I feel. Most of the time. If I get a signal that tells me to cool it, then I won't press. But it's surprising sometimes how much it means to a woman to know you have no reservations. The only other things you need are attraction and fun, and you can throw the rule book out the window. I think that's the right kind of confidence to work on. Ladies and gentlemen are you listening? Exactly. Women...this is what you want. This is quality. Men...this is the type of behavior you want to model yourself after if you REALLY are into the woman. Period. End of story.
allina Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 This is quality. Men...this is the type of behavior you want to model yourself after if you REALLY are into the woman. I agree Also after chatting someone up very briefly waiting 3 days to make contact is the worst thing ever, she'll forget about you or won't care anymore.
Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 I agree Also after chatting someone up very briefly waiting 3 days to make contact is the worst thing ever, she'll forget about you or won't care anymore. Right. What more can I add? You get it. I mean it's so phony and transparent!
alphamale Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 So, anybody here want to weigh in on this one? Did I break the 3 day rule and that's why no email back? well its always a good idea to wait 3 or 4 days....it will help you out if she digs you but if she doesn't dig you then nothing you do will work
allina Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 well its always a good idea to wait 3 or 4 days....it will help you out if she digs you but if she doesn't dig you then nothing you do will work Cheesy! See why johan is sexier.
Star Gazer Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 well its always a good idea to wait 3 or 4 days....it will help you out if she digs you but if she doesn't dig you then nothing you do will work When you JUST met her? No way. If she's worth it, don't ya think there are other guys who, while you're purposefully delaying, will be chatting her up and calling to show her just how interested he is? Perfect example: I once met a dreamy dude on a Friday night. I met another attractive guy Saturday afternoon. Saturday dude called around noon on Sunday (the next day) to ask me to dinner Monday night. Friday dude called Tuesday night (4 days after we had met) to see if I was busy that upcoming weekend. By then, I was busy...with Saturday dude...and I was for the next 3 years. Friday dude STILL calls, BTW...
alphamale Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 When you JUST met her? No way. If she's worth it, don't ya think there are other guys who - while you're purposefully delaying - will be chatting her up and calling? if she's good looking and single then her phone will be ringing off the hook day and nite. when the dust settles she'll pick the guy she likes the most. Perfect example: I once met a dreamy dude on a Friday night. I met another attractive guy Saturday afternoon. Saturday dude called around noon to ask me to dinner Monday night. Friday dude called Tuesday night. I was busy...with Saturday dude...and I was for the next 3 years. Friday dude STILL calls, BTW... you obviously were more into Saturday dude than Friday dude from the start. in the end the woman chooses which guy she wants.
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