meleeda Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Okay I am totally confused about our break up, I have been living with this guy for 3 years and our relationship has totally been great, we do all sorts of things together, we laugh, joke around he tells me about his day etc etc. Out of the blew he told me he wanted to break up, he said he just wants to be alone and to think about no one but him. So its been a month now since we have been apart and when I talk to him he tells me he masterbates thinking about the thing he and I did together and his fantasies are still all about me and tried to talk dirty to me on the phone, I tell him not to go their and I don't want to talk about it. He is always talking about how quote "beautiful" I am and I have a nice smile etc etc. I know I am pretty and I can get just about anyone but I was happy with where we were in our relationship and I only wanted him. This hole situation has me confused, we had a friend in common and that friend has in no such words told me she is on his side. We are not kids and this takes me back to high school. What do I do?? Do I wait for him?? Hoping that maybe he will snap out of this?? Do I move on?? I am so confused!! I have been taking time for me and doing my thing!! ie: working out etc. I have been meeting guys blind dates and stuff but my heart is still with him..........
funkybassplayer Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Speaking as a bloke, he still famcy's you, but just does'nt want the relationship, so if i were you, just walk away and leave him too it!!
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Don't mistake sexual fantasies for wanting to be back in a relationship. There are plenty of relationships out there that simply didn't work out, but the sex just happened to be great. The best way to cope in this situation is to simply walk away, and give yourself a lot of space away from him to clear your head and heart. He may think he is going easy on you by complimenting you like that, but when it comes right down to it - its a fairly cruel thing to do to an ex.
Author meleeda Posted June 20, 2007 Author Posted June 20, 2007 know this is a very confusing thing I have always been the one to end the relationship and now that things have flipped and I am the dumpee, its confusing, this relationship was going great but not perfect and he persued me and persued me, a week before he broke up and moved out we were talking and making plans on buying property together and how we will be spending our lives together. etc etc. I have read a few books on why men pull away before they get closer, not sure if this is one of those situations, he keeps telling me he needs his space and wants to be alone. The weekend before he moved out he was on stage singing to me telling me he wants to love me to the end.
funkybassplayer Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 dont look to deep for answers, we have all dumped and been dumped, trying to find out why will not make any difference, the fact still remains your an ex. Think about when you dumped someone, now turn it around, he s feeling what you do did, that he's dumped you because it was the right thing for him, and you have to accept that its what he wants, and you have to try to move forward with your own life now. It sounds that you cant get your head around being dumped, well welcome to our world!
funkybassplayer Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 P.s. the last night i spent with my ex, she told me she loved me, and was stroking my arms and holding my hand all night just gazing into my eyes, next day it was over!! who knows what goes on in peoples minds, thats why uts pointless trying to figure it out. And us muso's are more complicated then anyone!!
Author meleeda Posted June 20, 2007 Author Posted June 20, 2007 That must have been hard one right you spend iwth someone and the next day they are wanting to break up. So many people are saying that I am so ogly and stuff about being insecure but you know what!! Even the most beaustiful women in the world get dumped. And yes it still hurts the same, I know I have to move on and I know somewhere out thier is another guy who hopefully will be the one. I only want one, just one. I am learning from this though and my choices in men have changed, I have lost a friend through all this, although she was not the greatest friend she was a friend. Its still great to have feed back on this form. Recently a friend of mine went through the same thing as I have, her man dumped her and she moved on found this great guy and the relationship she had with her ex was not nearly as fulling as the new man, but her ex came back crying asking her to go back to him but it was too late the new man skooped her up and he regret ever dumping her and I know one day when I am ready I will let another in, my ex will regret it....... but for today I am not ready for another but one day I will...... very soon.
Mustang Sally Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Why don't you just try to take it as a compliment and validation of your (physical and otherwise) attractiveness, and move on? If he wants a R with you, then he needs to contribute to it in an appropriate way (more than just telling you about his fantasies). LB is right - good sex does not always a solid relationship make.
directx Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 I wonder if its a good idea to tell or write down your fantasies you have with a girl...I wonder how they would come across? Maybe I should try it...(again)
Author meleeda Posted June 21, 2007 Author Posted June 21, 2007 Its not just sex in actual fact I stopall contact regarding the subject, he tells me he misses me and misses the walks we use to do and he is looking at buying a house and said I should come look at houses with him, he tells me he is a loner and wants to be alone and not in a relationship. I am not really interested right now in friends.
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