Layla Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 When you know a relationship just doesn't work and you're so awfully hurt and can't imagine your life without the other but know that you'll have to face to walk out in the end. You get so used to your "little family" and familiarity that the thought of being alone again and starting a new and cold life makes you reconsider until another one of those hurtful moments happen which leaves you with no choice. Do you know that feeling when a relationship becomes eroded from all the fights, discussions, reconciliations, insults and disappointments? And yet, you can't let go. I have been married for almost a year now and the thought of telling my friends and family that it didn't work out gives me the creeps. Don't know what to do
sumdude Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 When you know a relationship just doesn't work and you're so awfully hurt and can't imagine your life without the other but know that you'll have to face to walk out in the end. You get so used to your "little family" and familiarity that the thought of being alone again and starting a new and cold life makes you reconsider until another one of those hurtful moments happen which leaves you with no choice. Do you know that feeling when a relationship becomes eroded from all the fights, discussions, reconciliations, insults and disappointments? And yet, you can't let go. I have been married for almost a year now and the thought of telling my friends and family that it didn't work out gives me the creeps. Don't know what to do Married just a year and already feel like it's done? How long were you together before the marriage and did you see these problems then? Seems awfully early to be throwing in the towel ... of course that always depends. Most marriages can be saved if both are willing to work at it ... hard. See thier own contributions to the problems .... maybe see a marriage councilor. Speak openely to each other attempting to avoid conflict and just communicate . It's not easy but it's possible.
Bobster999 Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 You don't want to spend your life being miserable. I assume there are no children so just chalk it up to a "learning experience" and move on.
Author Layla Posted June 19, 2007 Author Posted June 19, 2007 I guess, in some ways both your posts have some truth in them Yes, no children. We had been together for four years before getting married and the problems were already there. Yet, when there is love you think you can master all. I'm torn between working on it and just giving up. I must admit that whenever I truly think about leaving the prospects of living in a "difficult marriage" seem more rosey than being on the single market again. But whenever I want to make it work and get disappointed I feel like a horse and just want to run..... thank you for your thoughts
sumdude Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 I guess, in some ways both your posts have some truth in them Yes, no children. We had been together for four years before getting married and the problems were already there. Yet, when there is love you think you can master all. I'm torn between working on it and just giving up. I must admit that whenever I truly think about leaving the prospects of living in a "difficult marriage" seem more rosey than being on the single market again. But whenever I want to make it work and get disappointed I feel like a horse and just want to run..... thank you for your thoughts So does HE know how you really feel? Does he know you're on the verge of walking out? I mean directly ... not with womens smoke signal communication that he's somehow SUPPOSED to know it because you've done everything BUT tell him directly.
Lizzie60 Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 It was hard when I left my second ex.... we were very much in love but I knew it wouldn't work out.. and I didn't want him or me to waste anymore time on this relationship... Took me about a year and a half to move on... but once that was done... I never felt one single regret... I was finally happy being single.... and have been since. It takes a little while but you'll get over him... and you'll be much happier alone than in a bad relationship. Trust me on that one... Good luck!
sumdude Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 It was hard when I left my second ex.... we were very much in love but I knew it wouldn't work out.. and I didn't want him or me to waste anymore time on this relationship... Took me about a year and a half to move on... but once that was done... I never felt one single regret... I was finally happy being single.... and have been since. It takes a little while but you'll get over him... and you'll be much happier alone than in a bad relationship. Trust me on that one... Good luck! You were in love yet you somehow knew it wouldn't work out ... so it couldn't... Obviously you didn't want it to. That's OK but interesting to me..
azianpride143 Posted June 21, 2007 Posted June 21, 2007 I agree with Sumdude. Have you tried to let him know how you feel? Are you willing to give it one more go before ending your marriage? I wish my ex gave me this opportunity before deciding to have an affair. I never did get a chance to show how much the marriage meant to me. So give him the benefit and let him know. You'll be amazed at the power of communication and being open with your feelings. Too many marriages are lost because people get into it and think it's all a fairy tale. When the romance fizzles down they simply pack up and leave. Marriage is not a piece of clothing that once worn out you simply buy another one. Two people need to make it work. But both need to acknowledge that there is a problem and are willing to try. So think about your decision really well before deciding to jump ship. You may have found a "good man" already. But he just needs to be nudged a little bit. Maybe some counseling/therapy can help address the core issues that make you unhappy in the relationship.
Recommended Posts