mydadischeatingonmom Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 OMG,im so upset that i didnt know where and who else to talk about this anymore , ok first of all im 20 and i have 2 brothers and a sister that 10 ,my father is the owner of the resturant and my parents have been married for 25 years ........(very long time)and we moved so much from countrys to citys ,towns,village, what ever you wanna call it......so he hired a woman that has been working there for 3 years, and my mom told me that she knows something is going on because things arent right and how it used to be! My dad always leaves around 8 am to go get stuff for the resturant and after that he has so much free time until 11:00 so my mom was wondering what he does all those free times! so she decides to folow him where he goes and found out he goes to the womans house.So my mom waitet until he goes to work and than get off work and folows him again - and found out that he goes even at night after work to her house! So my mom gets out the car and starts screaming at him and he was upstairs in the apartment and he was trying to hide she said! She was like "How can you do this to your familly with 4 kids a doughter thats only 10 and your puting yourself and your family in shame" So the next day my mom goes in the resturant to tell the woman to leave him alone and that he is married !OMG GUESS WHAT THE ^&%^$ she said? "this is America leave him alone if he wants to be with someone else he can, let him be Free! " i cant believe she siad that i mean its so stupid! I know this might sounds nasty but my mom told me (they havnt even had sex for 3 years now since she found out about his dirt) but me and my mom are so close were bestfriends so its ok for her to tell me ,but i get disgusted cuz its my parents, but she wont tell her friends because she feels ashamed ....and they might look at us differently! So because of that i moved from where they live(I live in a different State wayyy East and there in Midwest!) only because i cant take it no more! our familly has been toren apart because of this! and its still going on ... infact my mom called today and she said when my brother walked in the resturant the woman told my brother "Oh we dont need you today ,you can go home" while my dad wasnt there he siad that to him! who the hell is she to tell my brother somehting like that? The womans doughter and his doughters boyfriend all work there .....??? Instad of my familly working together and making money THEY ARE! What can we do?
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 What can you do?? Nothing. Your father's decisions are tearing everyone he used to love and protect apart. His infatuation with this woman has turned him against his family. Its very hard to watch someone you love change like that but honey, it happens all the time. Men who once would kill for their family now are killing their family and turning a blind eye to the havock they have caused. And for what??? A few minutes of happiness. The only thing I can offer you for sollace is that as ugly as this woman is treating you she will treat him someday. There is something very wrong with someone who would destroy a family (even someone elses) for their own happiness, and that is who he is choosing over his family. They will both pay for it with their own miseries soon enough, so then you can watch and remember how much they deserve it. You can also love your mom and encourage her to find an adult friend to confide in or maybe a pastor at a church. You don't need much of this as you love both your parents.
Author mydadischeatingonmom Posted June 19, 2007 Author Posted June 19, 2007 ^ thank you , i hope one day he will really open his eyes and see whats he has done to us(as a familly) its just WRONG in every level.....im disgusted ,upset,mad,angry,shamed,sad, just everything... i never thought this would even happen to my familly , its so wired !
IpAncA Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 Sorry you and your family are going through this. You have every right to feel the way you do. What he is doing is unacceptable and wrong in every way. There's nothing you can do to save your parents marriage if that's what your looking to do. They have to work this out themselves. Sounds like the OW is a real mean bitch who thinks she can just walk in and do whatever. IMO your gonna get nothing but trouble from her. You can also love your mom and encourage her to find an adult friend to confide in or maybe a pastor at a church. I agree but someone for you to talk to would be nice as well. But keep posting if it makes you feel better. So did you guys just find this out or have you known for a while?
Aquarius Guy Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 Dear My Dad is Cheating on Mom, It does not sound like your Mom has a plan that you and she feel can work to get your Dad back. Since there are high emotions involved, you might suggest that your Mom seek legal advice to see what her rights and limitations might be in her state or jurisdiciton. There are books on Recovering from an Affair. Dr. Harley has one. Search marrigebuilders. One way to end an affair is to have your Dad see that the possibility of having the Affair to be told about to others he wants them not to find out, is one way to get his attention. Affairs often depend on secrecy. Another option is to ask for a Letter of No Contact. The letter should take into account the various cisrcumstances, and would prevent your Dad from continuing an affair, if he follows the letter. Another aspect of ending an affair is to find a way to compete with the other woman. This is difficult because your Mom will be angry with your Dad, and not really want to be offering marital relations. Your Mom needs to find a person who can counsel her through the feeling of beng betrayed, and finding a way to compete with the other woman. Have you and your Mom discussed how she can compete wtih the Other Woman? There is another section on Infidelity, that comes up at the top of Marriage Relationships, on LoveShack. Another challenge for your Mom will be to find ways to be more respectful to your Dad. You will probably recal many instances where your Mom could have been more respectful to your Dad, and where your other Brothers and Sisters could too. Here is a Loveshack Thread wher I discuss Respect as CHAIRS from loveandrespect: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t120532/ There are a number of things your mother can do to protect her self interests. A Lawyer can best give options and advice. Your mother can give your Dad the option to either straighten up, or she will take actions to protect her, and her children's, intersts. Because you probably don't have a lot of friends who have cheating husbands, you probably don't have a lot of resources from which to draw upon for ideas. Good Luck Blessings .
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