Why Would I Tell???

[FavoriteHeadache]

Did someone say something? I think I feel a gnat trying to pester me....

[HappyAtLast]

no offense ladies, but a man generally is not as bitter as Bish sounds.

[FavoriteHeadache]

It's pretty stinkin' HOT here in NC as usual.

Today my wife and I went to look for a new washing machine. I can't believe what they want for those things these days! Lol, I asked her if she would mind just washing the clothes in the creek and then hanging them up to dry!!!!! LMAO!

Yes, she laughed and so did the sales person and she said OF COURSE she minds! As we were standing there I actually thought I saw OW in one of the isles (which is impossible since she lives over an hour away). It looked just like her from the back but when I got around to checking her out of course it wasn't her. It was a strange feeling to have thought that I saw her and it made me realize a few things. Then I noticed this other woman really checking me out BIGTIME. She was probably mid 40's or so. I could tell a few things about her just by looking at her. Of course there were PERVS checking the wife out too, lol..... Another day in Paradise I guess...

[FavoriteHeadache]

no offense ladies, but a man generally is not as bitter as Bish sounds.

 

LOL! He might be a HE-SHE!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO!

 

**I think the ladies know that already buddy!

Thanx for chimming in!

Seriously, I don't even read his CRAP anymore.

I figure why bother...

[serial muse]

no offense ladies, but a man generally is not as bitter as Bish sounds.

 

Um, HAL...c'mon now, you're really not paying attention. Spend some more time reading some of the bitterer threads on the Infidelity boards in the past couple of months and see if you still feel the same way.

 

Anyway, FWIW, I'm pretty sure bish is a guy.

 

But back to Topic: FH, you said thinking you saw the OW made you realize a few things. What did you mean?

[FavoriteHeadache]

Um, HAL...c'mon now, you're really not paying attention. Spend some more time reading some of the bitterer threads on the Infidelity boards in the past couple of months and see if you still feel the same way.

 

Anyway, FWIW, I'm pretty sure bish is a guy.

 

I still say that Bish is a she-male at best.....

[FavoriteHeadache]

 

But back to Topic: FH, you said thinking you saw the OW made you realize a few things. What did you mean?

 

It made me realize how much she is still "IN" me I guess. I actually got excited in a way and I didn't feel nervous at all even with W right there with me. It just makes me realize how strange this sort of thing is and how easy it is to remember OW. I guess it'll really take me a good long while to forget about her if I ever really can. This whole thing is really very strange to me.

I can't say that remembering her (OW) is a bad memory at all..... I don't feel GUILT, I feel.........it's hard to explain really......I guess I feel.... I feel like I lost a close friend and even though I KNOW it shouldn't have happened it did and I'm really somehow just not all that upset by it.

This entire thing has really been very strange and very educational in a way too.

I wonder if W ever thinks of her long ago 'thing'.....probably would be my guess....

[HappyAtLast]

Um, HAL...c'mon now, you're really not paying attention. Spend some more time reading some of the bitterer threads on the Infidelity boards in the past couple of months and see if you still feel the same way.

 

OK, you got me there ... I have not spent much time on LS lately, and usually don't go to the Infidelity board. If Bish IS male, my apologies....

[FavoriteHeadache]

Um, HAL...c'mon now, you're really not paying attention. Spend some more time reading some of the bitterer threads on the Infidelity boards in the past couple of months and see if you still feel the same way.

 

OK, you got me there ... I have not spent much time on LS lately, and usually don't go to the Infidelity board. If Bish IS male, my apologies....

 

 

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!

[child_of_isis]

Did you ever consider that maybe W's long ago 'thing' is still going on? Think of today's e-mail and chat and such.

 

I wouldn't be getting too cocky about your getting away with having an A. Life has a way of biting people in the face.

 

Hell, she may play the game better than you.

 

I wonder if W ever thinks of her long ago 'thing'.....probably would be my guess....

[Babybird]

Did you ever consider that maybe W's long ago 'thing' is still going on? Think of today's e-mail and chat and such.

 

I wouldn't be getting too cocky about your getting away with having an A. Life has a way of biting people in the face.

 

Hell, she may play the game better than you.

 

Very good point!

 

Why does it seem when everything is going your way and there isn't a cloud in the sky it starts raining?

 

My personal opinion is when people get too comfortable they stop paying attention, especially to the little things. Thats when trouble starts. Thats when people are shocked to find out their S is cheating. The couple that used to go to bed together every night now has one going to bed later...hmm..are they on the internet talking to some OW/OM? Did they sneak out of the house like my MM for a little fix? Why are they going to bed at different times? Just things to think about.

 

Anyways, I'm sure she does think about her fling. She probably experienced the same excitement that you did. Even if the feelings weren't there the excitement was.

[FavoriteHeadache]

Did you ever consider that maybe W's long ago 'thing' is still going on? Think of today's e-mail and chat and such.

 

I wouldn't be getting too cocky about your getting away with having an A. Life has a way of biting people in the face.

 

Hell, she may play the game better than you.

 

Nah, that ain't happening for sure. I would easily know. She's a stay-at-home-mom, I work from home, she doesn't even know how to turn a computer on much less use one, and she's way too transparent which btw is a really great quality to have.

And btw, I don't think I'm being cocky at all.

[FavoriteHeadache]

Very good point!

 

Why does it seem when everything is going your way and there isn't a cloud in the sky it starts raining?

 

My personal opinion is when people get too comfortable they stop paying attention, especially to the little things. Thats when trouble starts. Thats when people are shocked to find out their S is cheating. The couple that used to go to bed together every night now has one going to bed later...hmm..are they on the internet talking to some OW/OM? Did they sneak out of the house like my MM for a little fix? Why are they going to bed at different times? Just things to think about.

 

Anyways, I'm sure she does think about her fling. She probably experienced the same excitement that you did. Even if the feelings weren't there the excitement was.

 

 

Yeah maybe she does think about it. So what. I do too. So what. We each reap the benefit of each others company (in bed, lol) no matter what time I finally turn in.

She tends our 4 kids, that's what she does. She's up early and she goes to bed early. I'm the one who stays up late nightly doing whatever (if I feel like it). You two would be onto something if you were onto something but you're not. Now maybe when she goes back into the workplace I might have something to worry about but that's only if I give her CAUSE to need something from someone else. It's ALWAYS a two-way street!

There is simply NO WAY that she is doing anything like that at this time. It would be logistically impossible.

[FavoriteHeadache]

...she does sometimes ask me wtf I'm doing online and usually I tell her. She usually says that nothing would bore her more than to get on a computer for anything and knowing my wife of 20 years I believe her.

[bish]

You offer nothing at all.

 

This coming from a man that has nothing to offer his wife except unfaithfullness, lying, and no remorse as evidenced by his comment that his wife can just leave if she doesn't like what he did.

 

She deserves a good husband...which FH is not.

 

 

I don't care what you think about any of it and won't even read anything you post. Ok? Have a nice life.

 

Yet you keep responding and mentioning my handle.....hmmmmmm. You are weaker than I thought.

[FavoriteHeadache]

This coming from a man that has nothing to offer his wife except unfaithfullness, lying, and no remorse as evidenced by his comment that his wife can just leave if she doesn't like what he did.

 

She deserves a good husband...which FH is not.

 

 

 

 

Yet you keep responding and mentioning my handle.....hmmmmmm. You are weaker than I thought.

 

 

Why do I visualize high heels, a granny dress and a frying pan whenever I see your made-up name?

Spare your breath buddy, I don't read your BS because it has nothing to do with anything. I didn't even read this reply to be perfectly honest. Go harass someone else or better yet go find yourself some other hobby and maybe even get a life. Take care of your wife (if you're even married) or someone else will.

CHOW!!!!!!!!!!!

[FavoriteHeadache]

Well the work week is over and I'm feelin' pretty good about stuff actually.

It's been about a month since I've heard from OW and my life goes on as usual (as if I never met OW). I do often wonder how she is and what she's doing but I dare not email or call her. It's probably better that I don't anyway. I bet her H has all her passwords anyway and is probably checking all the phone numbers. I'm honestly not all that compelled to call her anyway, I would however like to know how she's doing and I am pretty sure that I'll hear something from her eventually. Hopefully her H will end up getting his HEAD OUT OF HIS ARSE eventually and WAKE THE HELL UP and actually be a husband to her. The BIG WOOS should forgive her for whatever the hell he has against her and move on or just leave her the hell alone. She really does deserve someone to treat her right and to do simple things like just LISTEN to her.

OW, if you're out there somewhere, you KNOW I'm thinking about you and wish you nothing but the best in all things! YOU DESERVE IT!

(Lol, I know she's not actually here but I know she knows what I think anyway).

 

I guess I might take the Lil' wifey out to eat tonight and see if I can't get her to down a few Daquiris or something, LOL! Not that she needs that to loosen up or anything but I like it that way sometimes anyway.

We'll end up talking about the kids probably and about my ex internet friends too I would imagine (in passing). She has known all along that I was involved with many people I had met online and she's real glad it is all but over. No she doesn't know exactly how involved I got with one of them and IMO she doesn't need to. There would be absolutely no point in bringing that up, none at all. But that's the name of this thread isn't it....

I still sometimes ask myself, "why would I tell"? I can think of NO good reason....it's over.

Life goes on and on and on.......

[FavoriteHeadache]

Btw, what is an 'established member' here at this website and does it make any real difference in any regard? Just curious....

[TogetherForever]

Btw, what is an 'established member' here at this website and does it make any real difference in any regard? Just curious....

 

I'm an est. member!! I now have private messaging. WooHoo.

I don't know if LS goes by time or posts. I was here about a month & had about 80 posts when I became an established member.

[ridingthebulls]

In some posts, you make it sound like you've never even had sex with this woman, Favorite. Exactly how far did you go in the "affair"??

[bish]

Why do I visualize high heels, a granny dress and a frying pan whenever I see your made-up name?

Spare your breath buddy, I don't read your BS because it has nothing to do with anything. I didn't even read this reply to be perfectly honest. Go harass someone else or better yet go find yourself some other hobby and maybe even get a life. Take care of your wife (if you're even married) or someone else will.

CHOW!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Oh I take care of my wife. I don't cheat on her for one thing.

 

But let me back this up a bit and tone it down. You want something of value from a post ok...lets see if you can deal with the following in a logical manner.

 

As I see it, the problem isn't that you cheated on your wife. Lets give you the benefit of the doubt when you say you won't do it again.

 

The problem isn't even that I disagree on whether you should tell your wife or not. thats up to you.

 

The problem IS, however, your attitude towards your wife.

 

Lets look at a few things YOU have said. You have cheated on your wife. Okay, its over and done. But you said you will not lie to this OW. I feel you have more respect for the OW than your wife.

 

But that isn't the only reason.

 

You have said yourself that if your wife finds out, that if she doesn't like it, she can leave. You did say that.

So thats it? No remorse, no trying to work on the relationship?

If I had cheated on my wife, and she found out, I'd be pleading with her to give me a 2nd chance....that is, if I truly loved her and wanted to make it work.....I wouldn't tell her, "take it or leave it"....or "get over it, it happened". that seems to be your attitude.

 

Now if you had come to this forum and said that it will never happen again, which you did, and that you would do anything to make it work and didn't have the attitude that you wife would just have to deal with it if she found out, it would be a different story.

 

So since you have stated that you won't do it again, but made it clear that she can leave if she finds out and doesn't like it, what do you really want from your post?

[FavoriteHeadache]

I'm an est. member!! I now have private messaging. WooHoo.

I don't know if LS goes by time or posts. I was here about a month & had about 80 posts when I became an established member.

 

 

Oh THAT's the difference! It's the PM's. I guess they must go by time. I was wondering about pm's because most of these V-bulletin type of sites have pm's readiliy available. Thanks for answering.

[TogetherForever]

Oh THAT's the difference! It's the PM's. I guess they must go by time. I was wondering about pm's because most of these V-bulletin type of sites have pm's readiliy available. Thanks for answering.

 

It's like we have to EARN private messaging here.

Yay!!!!!!!

Hey, Have a great weekend Fav!!

[FavoriteHeadache]

In some posts, you make it sound like you've never even had sex with this woman, Favorite. Exactly how far did you go in the "affair"??

 

 

We had sex about 4 times I think. We never got all that hot and heavy really. We were friends more than anything else. Really.

 

It wasn't some sort of big sexual love affair or anything, it really wasn't. It was more about support and friendship and that's really why I never felt all that badly about the whole thing. The sex just kind of naturally followed as an extention of our emotional connection.

 

She would always say that she wished she met me decades ago because she really felt like we were perfect for and with each other. I felt the same way.

 

I was always the one who would say that we should back-off somewhat and not get too involved because what was the point. I wasn't going to leave my wife ever and OW always knew that. I would often ask her wtf we were doing and was she ok with it. She always said that strangely somehow she was ok with it all but only because it was with me. We really became very very close. I knew all about every aspect of her life and her kids and everything. And I knew her husband very very well through things she told me and showed me. He is a total phony and a real jerk. You have no idea.

 

She had been with him since she was 18 and their eldest was 26 years old. OW is in her latter 40's. She really looks fantastic, she looks 10 to 15 years younger than she is (not that 48 is really all that old). I swear she looked better than either of her daughters. She really just needed someone to listen to her and believe her and to be able to empathize with her and befriend her. That person ended up being yours truly.

 

The truth really is that we became very close and good friends. Eventually it did cross a line and we became lovers. It was all very natural. Neither one of us felt any real guilt about it at the time. It was the best way somehow to culminate the way we felt. Her husband had already left her and moved out of state. He's a big baby and a bully and a totally unrealistic and narcissistic man. He's full of ****. I don't say that lightly either. It's the truth.

 

Believe it or not, I somehow never really thought about myself or my family at all regarding the OW. I always just considered her. I don't know why. And even when I did, it didn't seem to matter all that much really. Go figure. That's kind of how I am with my family at home too. What I want really doesn't matter; it's more what the kids and my wife want that determines what we do (usually), though I of course tend to have the final say. So, you see, none of this was really out of character for me at all. Had you asked me a year ago if any of this would have ever happened I would have sworn up and down that the answer was not just NO but HELL NO. But it did happen.

 

We thought so much about each other and just naturally clicked so well on so many levels that if OW ever got divorced and if my wife died or something, me and OW would certainly end up together. We were just that close. Having said that though, I am comitted to my wife and my family and just could not ever simply leave what I have for anything. And OW knew that from the beginning.

 

Bla bla bla. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

[FavoriteHeadache]

It's like we have to EARN private messaging here.

Yay!!!!!!!

Hey, Have a great weekend Fav!!

 

LOL, I guess we do.

Thanks for your kind sentiments.

You have a great weekend too!