RecordProducer Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 My H sent me an e mail w/ some sort of virus on it...Guess he doesn't want me on the comp?? It's gone and now all we have is heavy debt..Yes, he does make good money, but we have heavy debt too. I HAD a business that was really starting to take off, but I had to quit due to illnesses..both our son and myself. Yes, you are right, std's and stress related illnesses are of great concern to me...I am seeing it and have seen it for a very long time. As far as whether or not he has hidden assets...very possible..IDK... I am almost certain that he is cheating, and that means that I will NOT endanger my own health any further by doing the unthinkable. He carries around three z packs at a time when he travels I try to stay quiet and go w/ the flow...sort of flying under the radar, so as not to tip him off that I am on to him...Also, it drives him crazy not to see me upset and making myself physically and emotionally sick over all of this... His temper is getting very bad, as he has once again begun to throw things and yell unprovoked.. I think it NO coincidence that he is leaving for a business trip to a destination that I feel very uncomfortable w/ the day before a holiday..I quoted these parts because they have something in common that I want you to see: they all indicate great suffering. OOD, please do something about it! Anything! Either leave or stand up for yourself fully or get a lover or do all of it. He is not a creature worth loving. I petitioned the court to stop the D due to giving in to all of his whining and promises...So, it's sort of like..you made your bed, your decisions, etc., now you must lay in it!! I feel for the all of the old tricks.... Well you saw that he didn't change so you know it will be like this forever. Is that what you want for yourself and your kids? As far as income tax returns, yes they are filed jointly...I JUST started to look them over three years ago, after D day...I would have to do some digging to see what's one them before that...Take a look at this article about marriage and taxes. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11768181/site/newsweek/ He uses a certain tax comp. program now, whereas before, he had an accountant do them...A coincidence? what do you all think??? Nah. It doesn't mean anything. It only means he has less money than before so he can manage the taxes all by himself. The tax on income returns will give you a good idea of how much his income is. You might be completely unaware of his business activities. I've seen cases where men led double lives, while the wife saved every penny and could afford nothing.
Author outofdarkness Posted July 4, 2007 Author Posted July 4, 2007 I quoted these parts because they have something in common that I want you to see: they all indicate great suffering. OOD, please do something about it! Anything! Either leave or stand up for yourself fully or get a lover or do all of it. He is not a creature worth loving. Well you saw that he didn't change so you know it will be like this forever. Is that what you want for yourself and your kids? Take a look at this article about marriage and taxes. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11768181/site/newsweek/ Nah. It doesn't mean anything. It only means he has less money than before so he can manage the taxes all by himself. The tax on income returns will give you a good idea of how much his income is. You might be completely unaware of his business activities. I've seen cases where men led double lives, while the wife saved every penny and could afford nothing. Thanks for the thoughts...I like the lover idea..can't believe I'm saying that, but sometimes I think, well, if you can't beat em..join em..lol...I understand the frustration of you all reading these and seeing that I am seemingly not doing anything about it, but I am preparing and trying to take care of myself and our kids...I don't post everything, mainly just the things that I'm having a hard time coping w/ or need advice on. I know that's quite enough to drive you all nuts about why I stay, but it's work in progress, and I want to be very prepared and knowledgable should I go that route... Thanks so much for the link to the article. I found it very helpful and most of the things mentioned, I was not aware of...Thanks again for caring..
Lynna Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 While the thought about you getting your own lover is appealing I am sure, be cautious. If you do and he finds out, he may take that as you givnig him approval to keep on just as he is or worse. Or he may then be able to acquire an equitable divorce should you go that route. Yes, we do care about you and from what you have posted it sounds like you are in a pretty bad situation. But, as you said, only you know the full details. Ultimately you need to do whatever you think is best. But while we know that we will probably keep recommending you to get out as soon as possible because we care! Be careful!
GreenEyedLady Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 He carries around three z packs at a time when he travels, apparently under the mistaken impression that this will protect him from STD's, and other illnesses that may tip me off to the cheating... I have never heard of this OOD...I had to look it up on the internet...What was his explanation for him having them?! You're stronger than I am girl! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this on top of all your familial obligations...Your H doesn't realize what he has... (((HUGS))) And Happy Fourth of July!
Author outofdarkness Posted July 6, 2007 Author Posted July 6, 2007 I have never heard of this OOD...I had to look it up on the internet...What was his explanation for him having them?! You're stronger than I am girl! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this on top of all your familial obligations...Your H doesn't realize what he has... (((HUGS))) And Happy Fourth of July! well, he gets an RX for a z pack from his Dr. so that he has it when he travels and gets sick...I started to equate it w/ his cheating and mabey that he's under the mistaken impression that it somehow protects him should he cheat from any physcial illnesses/diseases...
child_of_isis Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 OOD: I was reading another forum. Evidently money hiding is pretty common during times like this. Someone was talking about how they had a computer tech (IT tech or something?) come in and check out the H's computer. anyway, they found embedded doc's and some other stuff and found the money. Something you might want to think about.
Author outofdarkness Posted July 7, 2007 Author Posted July 7, 2007 OOD: I was reading another forum. Evidently money hiding is pretty common during times like this. Someone was talking about how they had a computer tech (IT tech or something?) come in and check out the H's computer. anyway, they found embedded doc's and some other stuff and found the money. Something you might want to think about. yeah...thanks for the tip...I have a comp. forensics dude I can call at any time...right now...just watching and waiting...hope you had a good 4th if you're in the states, and thanks again for the tip and taking the time to reply...ood.
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