oppath Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Agreed SG. Some people seem to think an excuse is better than "I don't feel we are right for each other and I want you to find that person because you deserve it." If any kind of relationship ends, it should be because someone felt things weren't working out = we're not right for each other. SG's relationship wasn't yet a relationship, but he courted her and is claiming EVERYTHING IS THERE. No, it's not, or the hour would be worth it (as long as finances are cool, etc...I'm a grad student so I couldn't afford an hour, but again, that means we just wouldn't be right for each other.) I seem to hijack posts all the time, but my ex told me "I'm giving up the most amazing relationship of my life. Please don't think I don't have feelings for you, I do. All the chemistry passion and romance are there, and I am an imbecile for giving you up. If I wanted a relationship with anyone it would be with you, but it's not you, it's me. I don't know who I am and need to find myself, and it wouldn't be fair to take you with me on what will be a dubious and introspective journey. I'll hardly have time for myself let alone a relationship. I'm just not emotionally ready to keep making you happy." Cock and balls. How about "I didn't give myself time to grieve my last relationship and realized I rushed into a new one too soon. I do truly value you and the time we spent together and think your are an amazing person, but I'm not sure if we are right for each other, and I didn't give myself enough time before meeting you. I know this will hurt you and you will feel like a rebound, and I'm sorry for that. My ex even tried getting back with me last week, I told him no, and I want you to know it has nothing to do with the breakup. But I don't feel we're the right people for each other, and it was difficult for me to come to this decision. You deserve someone who can give you the relationship you are looking for and I am not that person." I'd have much preferred the second paragraph than the first, which was essentially lame cop-outs full of false hope. If you are going to stop seeing someone, don't use timing, work, or any other excuse that was not an excuse through the courting phase. "I don't feel we are the right people for each other" -- it's about the we, not a you or I and can't be argued with -- "and I need to be upfront about it because you deserve to find that person." That's the most respectful breakup line I've ever been told. I love when someone is that honest with me.
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