CJ77 Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 So I met Tom this past December. When I first laid eyes on him a couple months prior I was instantly attracted to him. I am a very shy 21 yr old and I never gave any indication how I was attracted to him, nor did I tell anybody. So in December another guy who works where Tom and I work approached me and asked if I was single because apparently Tom was also attracted to me and wanted to find out about me, but he too is also on the shy side. So I was absoltely psyched and in shock because I couldnt believe that he too was interested so I told the other guy that yes I was single and I too was attracted to him. So basically this guy got the ball rolling for Tom and I and we began talking. Tom told me that it all started when he saw me walking through the doors at work,, he said the sun was shining on me and my hair was blowing in the wind and he said that it was when he saw me that day that he was instantly attracted to me. We only talked via AIM and by the end of January he finally asked me out and we went on our first date. We both enjoyed ourselves and continued to make plans. Our dates mainly consisted of us goin to D and D and talking for hours over a cup of tea. I felt very connected to him and found myself falling more and more for him. He didnt give me my first real kiss until the end of February and in March he told me that he wanted a serious relationship with me. He also told me he loved me so much. After he said that he said he didnt mean for that to come out and that I must be someone special bc those are serious words to say and not just something you say to anybody. He also feared that I was freaked out as I didnt say much. But I didnt say much bc I am very shy and takes me a loooooong time to fully open up and plus at that point I wasnt sure if my feelings were to that point yet. As time went by I did fall in love with Tom, but I never told him. We grew closer and closer and one night he told me that he wanted to know my feelings for him bc he always wants to blurt out that he loves me and then he looked at me and said "I love you!" Again I didnt say anything even tho i felt the same, he asked why it is i never say it and I just began to kiss him. When I began to tell him how i feel about him the words just werent coming out right but i did tell him that its hard for me to open up with words but that I do really care for him and I never felt for anybody like I feel for him. Now to give some background on the type of guy Tom is. First of all, if he had his way he wouldnt use the phone, until one night I asked him why it is he never calls me. He would only talk to me via AIM, so basically if I didnt get to go on AIM for 3 days bc of work or what not we wouldnt talk. So when i said somehting about that he told me its one of his faults that he doesnt realize certain things and hes not one of those romantic guys that calls the girl like crazy and brings her flowers ect etc... so after that night he began to call me once every night. Also Tom is only 19 and still in college, whereas Im already a college graduate with my carrer. So he has a very busy schedule which involves school twice a week, and a bunch of extra activities that hes a part of. We only saw eachother once a week and once in a while Once every two weeks. He made this worse by switcing off the day shift at work to the evening shift, which I never understood why he would do that bc that would mean hardly any time with me. So this is when the relationship went bad. It never seemed to bother him that he wasnt seeing me as much, whereas with me it drove me insane bc I could never wait to see him again. So I began to tell him that it bothered me that he had no time for me and that maybe he didnt have time for a gf. he told me that He did his best and thats all he can do for now. He also told me I was the best and that i was scaring him bc he didnt want our relationship to go down the drain but that he also wanted me to do what would make me happy bv thats all he ever wanted was for me to be happy. Now i wasnt demanding all his time but at least more than what we were doing. and like I said it didnt seem to bother him all that much. The calling got less and less and he began to be distant. At first I thought it was bc i didnt tell him I loved him back.So i called him to tell him I wanted to talk and he immediately was like "its not anyhting bad is it??" and I said no but that I wanted to know why the change in behavior, he told me it was that hes been depressed bc he has not time for anything but he assured me that he still liked me alot and that hes been such a jerk to me lately and that he was sorry and he also said that with the summer coming up that he would have much more time for me and just be patient. and i was fine with that! But here was the last straw. That same guy who got us together asked me at work how Tom and I were doing. I told him how things were wierd lately and how i been feeling that hes not interested in me anymore. He told me that Tom told him the same that he didnt feel I was that into him anymore bc a couple of weekends where we both worked till 10 pm I didnt take him up on an offer to go out, but that was bc I had important family matters to tend to. Tom also chaperones a summer camp during the summer and this guy told me that the girl he does it with him really likes him and she went out with tom and a group of friends to see a movie. Now when I say group I mean tom, another guy, that girl and one other girl. Tom had told me how this girl, who he says is a friend, was excited that he was doing the camp again this summer and he also told me how good it was to hear from her again. Now I thought nothing of that, but going to the movies with her and a few other ppl when he hadnt seen me isnt right. he claims he has no time but yet he FOUND time for them. So i called him very upset and it blew up into a big fight. The following day he pulled me aside at work and told me that he understood I wanted to break up but to know that he never cheated on me and that girl is stricly a friend and that he never meant for me to feel hurt. I told him I didnt want to break up so he then told me he thought it was in our best interest if he did break up and stay friends bc we are always arguing lately about him not having any time for me and that he still really likes me and thinks we should split now as to not ruin any future plans for us to be together again in the future. He was very adamant and would change his mind no matter what I said. he had a very funny look on his face while saying all this. I was crushed. The next day he told me that I can blame that guy who told me this stuff for ruining the relationship. I told him how could he blame him when hes the one that decided to end it and i also told him I dont see how he could say he still likes me but break up with me. Again he stuck to his guns and just told me that he meant everything he said and that the best course of action is to just be friends and thats its just not working out. Since then he messages me on Aim as soon as I sign on or he signs on. He stares at me at work, like his eyes are on me likeglue, and when I am near him talking he'll laugh at something I say that is funny or make a remark about it. I am suffering. Its been 3 weeks and my heart hurts so much. I never been this way before over any break up. I really love him so much and I miss him so much. When he messages me he talks to me like nothing ever happened. So last night I asked him if he missed me. This was his response.. "well..........ya............" so i kinda took that as a no. He said that its true. I dont understand why he didnt try to work out our tiny problems. They werent even major. I dont understand what went wrong or why. How do u push away a girl who u claimed u care about so much? I mean why the change in behaviour. I just dont get it....
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