Prim&proper Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 Ls-ers, I can use some help today. To make a long story short, I dated my ex for 1.5 years. We've broken up several times. In jan, he broke up with. I did NC. One month later he called wanting to get back together. We get back together. A few months later, he tells me he's having questions and doubts about the relationship as a result of the fights that we had while we were on vacation. So I broke up with him, but have not felt right ever since. I instituted NC again, but after one month of it, I broke down and contacted him on the same day that he was moving to Asia for the summer for work. We've talked and he is in town for a week this week and he wants to see me. The problem is that he's been emotionally rather distant. He says he doesn't want a long distance relationship and for us to maintain communications until he gets back in 3 months. I don't really know how to handle how distant he is. He barely emails me at all anymore, and his latest emails have been short and terse. I know he doesn't owe me anything, but I feel like I can't sit with this limbo of not knowing where we stand. Should I just try NC again and just try to get over him? What should I do? I'm seeing him tonight, but I'm afraid of putting my heart out on the line and having him reject it. What should i do?
smwhtshy Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 This may sound corny, but try and be your own best friend tonight. Act like she (the BF) is with you, advising you, and listening objectively, un-eomtionally, to whatever he has to say. And then, try and respond as though that best friend were advising you. How would she react to his words? Turn the tables..and say YOUR best friend was in the same situation, and asked you to tag along..you'd be thinking of her welfare, and hearing her ex's words objectively and with her best interests in mind. Also, beware the break up sex, especially if he's headed out of town for awhile, he might be thinking "well, I'll get something now, because it might be awhile before I get the chance again"..how would your best friend approach that if she was there listening? If thats what happens with him, think of how crappy you'd feel after... And, one last thing, if you can do it, imagine the coolest guy in the world asked you out, and the date was the day after your meeting..wouldn't you be thinking about that, and how much fun you were going to have getting to know this new guy after the ex is out of the picture? You were the dumpee, right? Well, guess what that great guy IS out there, waiting to meet you....its just timing.. Good luck!!
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