Steveto Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 I think I posted this in the wrong part of the forum, so I am going to delete that one and post my topic here. Hey guys/girls, I've been out of the dating scene for the past 6 years, by choice because I was REALLY burned before and needed an extended break. Recently, I met someone I had only known for a 2 week period 15 years ago on a Euro class trip...at that time I was 16 and she was only 12...she was a daughter of someone I had met...no stars no nothing really no feeling for each other..just met her..anyway..I ran into her again on one of the social networks - (facebook..go figure)...we started talking over the phone for about 2.5 weeks..non-stop and smsing (BTW, I live in Europe now)..We seriously clicked...talking on the phone was effortless. Anyway, one day..she just stopped..phone rang and rang...smsing stopped..nothing..I waited a few days..then was a little worried...waited a week..Couldn't take it anymore..couldn't stop thinking of her...soo..was thinking..what should I do? I was gonna call in a fav to a friend that lives in her city to see if she was still working (I only know where she works..not live) and if she was ok....but I figure that was like borderline stalker ..so I ordered a dozen roses and had them delivered..I received an email that night that explained everything..(she thought the roses were very sweet) she was very ill, cell phone is in the shop..no time to pick it up, she works looong hours and her internet is out of commission at home..(I knew about the internet thing way before and the long work hrs). She said she was gonna try to get her phone and call me the next day....been 2.5 weeks since that time... this is the last bit she wrote in that email: "As for the ideas you're having about coming to see me....I think it would be great, but I need some time before then, especially now after being so powered out. We'll meet soon enough I'm sure, just wana take it one step at a time." I've been over it a hundred times, but I gather she thinks that maybe things are going a little too fast, but definitely not all lost..and that was the last form of communication I got..I send her one email every 5 or so days just to say hi..nothing to make her think I am some weirdo. She's busy and works like 14 hr days.. This is my interp...I don't want to send too much mushy stuff, or it would be like "clingy" and "smothering"..if I sent nothing..it's like I don't give a crap and she might say, well..maybe I am not important enough...sooo..I will send an email maybe once every 4-5 days saying stuff like hey...don't work too hard..make fun of her and end it with a still thinking of you thing..I'm not about to drive to her work to say "hi"..cuz that IS borderline stalker..heh..(though sometimes I do think of that..haha) ..if I push too much..she might change her mind and say a relationship is not really in her priorities and wants to focus on career..that is not what I want to hear. Keep in mind that she does work a lot of hours..she's been really sick, she sucks at writing emails (always did), she rarely takes breaks and well..I might be making excuses for her to make me feel better..it's been 3.5 weeks since she called (I am almost positive she has not picked up her phone from T-Mobile). I tried talking to other women..but it's like pulling teeth to talk to them, or there is no chemistry..I want this girl...but should I just wait..have more patience? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. Steve NOTE: I forgot to mention that we had already had the discussion about GF/BF status once we actually met each other again..we have established that there is chemistry and have seen multiple photos of each other. Only thing left was to meet in person.
amaysngrace Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 My best advice is don't stop living your life. Chill out on this girl for now. She is busy living her life and you should do the same. If it's meant to be it'll happen. So for now just let it go.
chasinghappiness Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 Life is too short (in my opinion) to let it go.....I say, try to get ahold of her, but don't exhaust yourself. Just let her know that you really feel a connection and you really want to see what happens because the possibilities excite you. If you feel that she is not reciprocating these feelings, then try your best to just move on....People do get busy in life, but when it matters...They make time....
Lucky555 Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 It sounds to me that she wants to take this relationship slow i myself take things one step at a time. This is because A LOT of guys tell you what you want to hear in the beginning, and there is so much excitement in the beginning that maybe she wants to wait it out and see your true intentions. She doesn't know if your just using her for the time being or anything like that. you sound like a good guy, but see it on her side too, shes got a lot going on and i am sure shes focus on those things at the moment. However, you standing by her and being patient will give you more points. Um its been 2.5 weeks that is a while. Send her some more flowers and then she will have to find some way to contact you. If you don't hear a response after awhile lets say a week and half, then i say things dont look so good. But, if she said that you two will meet then it will happen. patience for now. hopefully she gets her phone going.
Krytellan Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 My interpretation of the email is that it is something someone says when they're not really interested in a romantic relationship.
Author Steveto Posted June 19, 2007 Author Posted June 19, 2007 There was really no indication that anything was wrong..really..even our last conversation dealt with the fact that she would not be able to move to me because of her work and also her lifelong goals and if I would be interested etc etc.. I still have heard nothing..I think i will wait a bit longer to see what's up.. I just composed this letter, but unsure if I should send it now or wait a bit..I really mean every word and this girl is very important to me...please let me know if you think it is too much, but I layed everything out on the table. ----------------- I am still thinking of you and hope all is ok..... It is unusual that you have been silent for so long...I know we aren't dating yet, but in all seriousness, I don't see how you can't make enough time to at least email me. If you are still sick or work is tough I understand. Like I said at the beginning, honesty is important and I KNOW this is a blast from the past thing and maybe..just maybe you are having reservations, but I assure you that I AM the real thing and I don't know what I have to do to prove it to you..Whatever it is I will do it. I'm just asking for a chance. Yes, these are just words and any guy can write them, but I want to have the chance to show you the real me. This silence is killing me...I have no intention of pressuring you to meet me...if you aren't ready, you aren't ready and I completely understand, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't speak to each other. The truth is..I like you and I KNOW there is a connection between us..you feel it too..I won't hurt you..really..I would NEVER do that...not even if you said to me "go away"..(hopefully not, but I will respect your wishes). I am not making any of this up..I know you think you are taking a big risk..well, so am I. It's not the first time I have been burned and you know some of the stories of the relationships that I have had to deal with. I'm done with second guessing..I want this to work and if you want me to wait, I will, but I need to hear it from you and not just assume things are alright..because right now, they aren't Right now, I basically have not heard from you since I sent you the roses and if I didn't, you would have probably never sent me that email or anything for that matter. It's hard to hear good things coming from a guy you barely even know and how he says this and that and he will do this and that etc Actions speak louder than words...You are busy with a new job and I commend you on that..work hard, but even you need support. Let me BE that person to support you..I am not going to be that overly nice guy either that will be at your beck and call (god that's annoying)..the one women get sick of..I will PUSH you to be a success..don't think you can do everything alone..allow me to make you a better person because I already know that those brief moments talking with you on the phone has already made me that much better as a person. Remember, I have my own company..doing well I might add and I hope to make it a million dollar company by this time next year..I know what it takes to be successful and so does your father, but lets face it, sometimes it takes an outsider to make a point clear than hearing the same thing from a family member. You may fear me getting in your way to achieve your goal...absolutely NOT! You need your space to learn and you can't learn if someone is always doing **** for you. That's not me..I will give you advice, guidance and support. You need to take it from there. I am not going to get down on my knees and beg for you to take a chance on me (no pun intended)..The choice has to be yours, but at least show me that you care and that the feelings I have for you are mutual.
frygirl Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 My interpretation of the email is that it is something someone says when they're not really interested in a romantic relationship. ditto I don't think she is that interested in you if at all. If a girl is interested in a man, she doesn't ignore him for 3 weeks.
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