skper138 Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 On wednesday i received a message from my ex which said, "there was an earthquack in Guatemala, is your uncle, Grandmother and kids ok?" I answered back by simply saying, "I don't know but thanx for asking". It was a bit weird to have received an e-mail from him after almost 6 month of NC since our break up in December. The e-mail affected me much since i'm trying so hard to stop loving him and simply forget about whatever happend. Later that night I wrote him an e-mail telling him that I appriciated his e-mail and concern for my family but I would rather him not contact me again. What did the e-mail really mean? is he just using this as an excuse to talk? did i do wrong by asking him never to contact me?
LakesideDream Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 Could it mean that your ex was showing genuine concern? Earthquakes, are natural disasters, not planned or anticipated. The less advanced a society is, the more effect events like earthquakes have. I know little about Guatemala, however what little I know leads to the belief that the infrastructure is pretty fragile. Why not just assume that he was concerned, wrote you a short note to lend you support, and show concern and leave it at that. Your reply was fine.. until you trashed him for contacting you. Question, if there was a large (or even larger) aftershock next Wednesday, would his concern be less genuine or valid? Assuming that he has a clandestine agenda in emailing you is pretty egotistical.
Zankon Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 If you guys had 6 months of NC and he contacted you just because of the earthquake i think his concern was genuine and your answer was extremely rude. I don't think he was sitting there praying an earthquake hits guatemala so that he can have an excuse to contact you; if you know what I mean. Dont try to read between the lines, his msg is clear but your answer will make him despise even thinking of you and makes him think you're bitter. That's what I would think if I were him... but again people are different.
underpants Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Well, I may being going out on a limb here, but I think you handled this with integrity. I read through some of your old posts and yea, he ditched you pretty harshly. My opinion is that he found out about the earthquake and thought of you. In his mind it probably went no further then genuine care, at worst maybe an opportunity to see how you are doing without him (this of course would be an unconscious motivation). You had a long relationship with this fellow and he left you for someone else. Then some drama, then some cooling off. Even though it has been 6 months you are still healing from it all. I think thanking him for the concern and reiterating the no contact request is civil and appropriate. Regards, Unders
Recommended Posts