Loz22 Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 I broke up with my partner of nearly 5 years 3 months ago, after a week and a bit of being apart I got a text message from him saying that he still did love me and he wanted to try and make it work between us because he didn't think he could be without me. So I visted him that night of the text and we talked and we were going to try dating to see if we could fix our relationship. I didn't move back in with him but I have stayed a quite a few nights at his house with him (his house where i used to live to). I love him so much and I want it to work out but I am so scared that I am going to push him away by doing something wrong. I asked him last night if he still felt that way that he still wanted to keep trying and he said he did but I just feel like he doesn't. Why can't I just believe him. I love him so much and because of that I try to spend alot of time with him because I miss him so much and I didn't want to break up in the first place. he said he just wants some space and time out but it hurts so much, then to make matters worse he told me last week I could go to an event that is coming up this weekend, and last night he said he didn't want me to go, because it was his night, which i do understand because it is to do with the rugby club that he plays with but all my friends will be there to so it sucks because I want to go, but I don't want to do the wrong thing because i'm so scared that i will and it will all be over again and that is the last thing I want all I want is to be with him again. I know things were wrong in our relationship before, i just wish I could change me and make me not so needy and emotional because I get so upset trying to talk to him about things. Should I sit him down and make him open up to me because there is so many things I need to say. I am just so scared of losing him because I love him more than ever, i can't imagen my life with out him. I know I must sound so sad.
norajane Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 Well, first, if he missed you that much after a week apart, try to understand that giving him some space is a good thing. It gives him time to miss you. And apparently, he needs that so he doesn't take your relationship for granted. Second, if there's something you want to do a particular night, and it happens to be 'his night', then you trade nights. You tell him you're going out with your friends, and you'll see him the next night instead. Life goes on - even if you were still engaged, you'd still have the right to go out with your friends. Let him miss you that night - it will make him look forward to seeing you the next night even more. Take control back - don't give him everything he wants whenever he wants however he wants. It sounds like he's been taking you for granted. He shouldn't, and you shouldn't let him just because you want to marry him. He needs to respect you, and he needs to want to make this work, otherwise it won't work. Don't be his doormat. Stand up to him. Talk about what you need to talk about. Ask him what you need to ask him. You can't walk on eggshells hoping it will work if it pleases him.
Recommended Posts