crosswordfiend Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Just a little rant after spending a lovely evening chatting with girls whose idea of a night out on the town consists of getting drunk and taking pictures of each other to put on Facebook... Why bother going out if you don't want to talk to anyone? Wouldn't it be cheaper to invite your friends over and get drunk at home? If you want some eye candy you can just pop in a video if you know what I mean... After all, it's not like you're going to be interacting with them. Or is it something else all together? Do you want to be social but are scared of unfamiliar situations where random people are talking to you? It's all a bit unfortunate... it's true that the majority of people who approach you in public will not be your type. But, flirting takes practice. By seizing up and becoming a conversational black hole, you're only dooming yourself to failure if and when someone you DO want approaches you...
Touche Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Ok, all very good points except for the fact that you're ASSUMING that these "girls" are looking for something. Pehaps they all had boyfriends, husbands or were simply just not interested. Perhaps it was just simply a "girl's night out" with no expectation of finding a man. I hope you don't become bitter or you too will doom yourself to failure. Bitterness is not a trait women are drawn to as a rule. Good luck in your quest. Just wanted to add this: You asked why people bother to go out if they don't want to talk to people. I used to do that quite often when I was single. I was lonely and didn't want to go straight home after work But many times I really just wanted to be "alone around people" if that makes sense. I didn't necessarily want to talk to anyone but just enjoyed being in a place with people and music as opposed to my quiet little apt. Is there a law that says people shouldn't go out if they don't want to talk to others?
Tony T Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Did these ladies prevent you from socializing...not talking to others? It's not nuclear science to split one's time between the people we are with and other things we want to do.
Trialbyfire Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Although clubs bore me now and I only go maybe once every blue moon, I did go through a clubbing phase. During this time, I was never interested in picking anyone up at a bar. Yes, I did chat and dance, but that's about it. More than anything, it was to hang out with friends, enjoying the music and social atmosphere.
Sand&Water Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 RE: These girls, you talk of, Crosswordfiend are not in any way harming you. No damage done, either way. IF this is a major turn-off for you, then by all means cut contact. There are plenty of women that would enjoy your company. Talking to a woman should not cost you a dime or an ego. Take your time to approach, and get to know women. No rush. Rather, outwardly displaying friendly vibes and conversation should be enough to give women the hint that you are a real gentleman. All women dig that. Sand&Water
Heavenly55 Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 Newsflash..bc not all women go out to meet guys...imagine leaving the house for the sole purpose of having a good time:eek: I've been into the club scene since I was in h.s. and for the most part I went out to clubs to socialize with friends, aquaintances, people I knew from going out and for the music. I can not stand more then anything the type of girls and guys who only go out for the purpose of meeting someone, or getting a number they'll never use..is it an ego boost? And yes I was defeintially one of those girls out with her friends, taking pics..it's called having fun.
Author crosswordfiend Posted June 18, 2007 Author Posted June 18, 2007 Other than take up space, the girls in question were relatively benign. Rather, my comment was directed more at cliques of people. I was at a local hole-in-the-wall and these kids were likely spillover club goers. But that's the issue, space can be tight. In a small place, sometimes you're going to have to share a table, or rub shoulders with people you didn't come with. It's the expectation of privacy in a public place that grates.
Touche Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 Other than take up space, the girls in question were relatively benign. Rather, my comment was directed more at cliques of people. I was at a local hole-in-the-wall and these kids were likely spillover club goers. But that's the issue, space can be tight. In a small place, sometimes you're going to have to share a table, or rub shoulders with people you didn't come with. It's the expectation of privacy in a public place that grates. Interesting. You know what used to grate on me? When someone would keep talking to me when it was clear that I didn't want to be bothered. They seemed to think they had a right to do that because it was a public place. And you wouldn't believe how many men think nothing of getting into your "personal space" if you know what I mean. Maybe I was wrong to feel as I did but yes, I DID have an expectation of privacy in a public place. It's my right. Why should I feel forced to talk to everyone and anyone just because I'm out in public? What about when you're flying and the person next to you wants to carry on a conversation and you just want to be left alone to read? Why should that person's rights come before your own rights and desires?
Trialbyfire Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 What about when you're flying and the person next to you wants to carry on a conversation and you just want to be left alone to read? Why should that person's rights come before your own rights and desires? Major pet peeve of mine!! If it's a woman, it doesn't bother me because if and when either one of us needs a little personal space, we ignore each other. When it's a man, he usually takes up way too much space, elbows and legs sprawled into my space and usually, wants to chat. If I'm in the window or center seat, I feel cornered.
konfuzd Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 Wouldn't it be cheaper to invite your friends over and get drunk at home? Because then you're left to clean up the mess afterwards. Besides, being out provides conversation topics, a change of atmosphere, food/drinks you may not have the ingredients or skill to make at home...
cutegirl Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 Just because I go out doesn't mean I want to talk to you or anyone new for that matter. I would rather talk to the people I am with or if I'm by myself I like to enjoy my own company!! Since when is it required to "meet new people" just because I'm out. Not everyone goes out to meet people. Some people go clubbing cause they like the dj or whatevers... That doesn't mean they are obligated to talk to you or"flirt" with you. I NEVER flirt with random people. I just don't care to. Some people go out just to get out of the house otherwise they might never even leave their home. That doesn't mean they need to talk to you. Sometimes people go out for a break or need a change in surroundings. I can go anywhere I want and I STILL don't have to talk to you. Even when I was single, that didn't mean I went out to meet guys. I don't need a guy to make me happy. Perhaps I went out to have fun with friends or even fun with myself. That doesn't mean I have to meet new people or even talk to you. I am not obligated to talk to anyone! Not everyone is sociable. Some people like to go out sometimes but like to be left alone and not socialize.
knaveman Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Unfortunately the world is becoming more and more anti-social. We all have our own spaces and feel mildly offended if it is violated by someone. We are all becoming so self involved these days that we don't have time for anyone else. When was the last time a stranger smiled at you and said hi? When was the last time you smiled and said hi?
amerikajin Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 What about when you're flying and the person next to you wants to carry on a conversation and you just want to be left alone to read? Why should that person's rights come before your own rights and desires? Worse yet, what happens when it becomes clear dude's striking up a conversation because your plane will arrive around midnight and he's hoping you can give him a ride to his hotel? Like, um, that's your problem, bro. Nite.
monkey00 Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 hm well im a dude and sometimes Ill just go to a bar for a drink or two with my bud for a good chat with no intention of picking up a girl. But if i see a girl that interests me it doesnt mean I wont leave my seat to talk to her.
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