funkybassplayer Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Well my ex broke up with me 8 weeks ago, and along with her went her family that i loved, especially the little girl. She is very selfish and so on with lots of issues, but never the less i loved them all. While we were together i had a full and happyish, but stressful life. Anyway very soon (a week) after we broke up (she dumped me) she got a new guy and contact was banned. i have slowely been getting over her, and no that she was no good as she was always wanted everything her way. she knows that i am missing the kids terribly. When i last spoke to her i did tell her, she was happy to hear from me, and we spoke for nearly an hour. It seems after 5 weeks her new guy has all but moved in. I should not have called (2 weeks ago) but i did as i had so little contact since we split 8 weeks ago, and my feelings got the better of me. I feel that i still have so much love for the family, but its got no where to go. I thought about my situation and how im getting hurt by trying to keep contact (7 texts and a call on my part in 8 weeks, when we first split she begged me to stay friends) , and that i dont want to be a burden to her and her new fella, and decided to post her stuff off (owed money) and let my stuff go, and walk away. It was very hard to do this, but i have felt stronger since. That was last week. She would have got the stuff on thursday, which included a dvd of our holidays with the kids, a choker that i loved her wearing, her cds and a fairly large cheque that i owed her I did see her on msn on thursday, which is the first time since the new chap came along, and i did want to ask if she recived the cheques etc, but thought best not to and signed off. Today its farthers day, my dad has passed away, and last year had a great time with her kids. Today im alone in my house with tears and just memories, and feeling really sad. Im sure the new chap is there with them now, and The little girl is sitting on his lap the way she did me. Why is it always so hard and one party has to suffer for the both. I of course will not contact her, as much as i want to, but today i feel so alone. Im sure in the future we will chat on msn but at the moment any contact with her is banned and also too hard for me. I know what i must do,, and have been getting stronger, but today im hit hard. Any words will help i guess, and although this woman i was with was really hard work, i miss her terribly. I feel i have my self respect back, but that doesnt help the pain. Thanks
tinke Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 funkyb. might i ask a question? i realize that you love the children dearly, etc., but is it the best decision to keep yourself in contact with her? she has clearly moved on and very aware (i'm sure) of your love for her. i find it selfish of her to ask you to remain friends. why put yourself in that pain? it may also be very confusing for the children. with your love for them, it seems it may be best to just write them of your love.etc. but, move on. you will one day have your lasting family. i am sorry to hear of your bad day. this wknd. has been tough for me also. but, i have to keep in mind that even in the bad times, i still have come a long way. i have learned through my experience that part of the fear of really letting go and actually doing the n/c with the thought of moving on...is the reality that one has surrendered...it no longer is. i did learn that distance helps the process...won't take the pain away completely, but helps. slowly, acceptance creeps in. just from an outsider's view, it seems much easier if you stay n/c. why give her the pleasure of knowing what's going on with you...she gave up that right to know about you when she left! try to have a good evening. just think...next year father's day will be totally different! something to look forward to...new friends, maybe significant other, hobbies, new YOU! try to pamper yourself today...you deserve it.
Author funkybassplayer Posted June 17, 2007 Author Posted June 17, 2007 hey thanks, well as i said, i have been doing the no contact for two weeks, with the exeption of sending her back her stuff! yes i have wrote them all off now, but i do miss them, and i do feel that she has lost me too, as i was a rock. Today i have been doing reserch and found out that she was truly high maintenace, described her to a t. An energy vampire. In the relationship, she did drain me of all my enegy with her constant aggression and her generally being a real hard cookie to be with, It made me feel better as i stuck this person for a year and a half, and her mad ex hubby and her family, that says lots about me, and her. Yes i miss the kids, and today i had a bit of a downer, but im feeling better now, much better! . Is it the exitment and challange that i miss or her??? hmmm im starting to wonder. Lets see how well the new guy copes! im sure she will poke her head up again at some point, but im done with her. She could'nt love me, or anyone, she didnt know how to love her self! I do.
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