behappy999 Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Wow where do I begin. I need some help though. My friend, we shall call her: "B", and I have been friends since 2nd grade. We are now college students in our early 20's. Sort of an on and off friendship though being closer some years than others. However, this past year since we both broke up with long term boyfriends we have been a whole lot closer. I have now met a new guy that I have been dating for about 5-6 months. She was dating one of my boyfriend's friends for the past couple months also but they just broke up. For the past half year her and I have been hanging out a lot and we have always gotten along. We usually drink when we hang out but she has a problem controlling her liquor--more ont his later..... Let me make this a point also-- our friendship has never experienced any hardcore fights or name calling or anything terrible like that. We have always gotten along and trusted each other 100% with everything As of right now we had planned on moving out next school year into an aprtment together. We have been SOO excited at this opportunity and even discussed the fact that we will have our fights but in the end out friendship will prevail. HOWEVER: This all changed tonight. We went to a local bar... it's such a huge mess I do not want to get into details but I drove her& her friend to the bar and I ended up driving back with my BF-- after they went outside for nearly an hour smoke break the bar was closing and we were bored... so my BF and I gave MY keys to her ex ( they are friends now) and we were all planning at meeting at the same place. Her and her friend freaked out and walked about 2 blocks away in a bad neighborhood (umm not my fault). I can't even begint o explain all the stupid details. Either way, MY car ended up being driven by a drunk girl whom I had NOT been given permission to drive it. It was driven somewhere where I had NOT told them to drive it. Yes, my fault for trusting someone I thought I could. Not the big deal. The point is-- her AND her friend (both of whom I had grown up with) blew up my phone cussing me out in voicemails/text messages I finally had to shut it off. I had tried originally to talk to them rationally (I was pretty much sober and trying to avoid conflict) but they just kept cussing andbeing jerry springer'ish. THEY KEPT MY KEYS FROM ME! Til about 3:00am or later. I told them "Please, give me my keys and I will forget all the fighting and drama I just want to go home." I live about 2 mins down the street from them so its not a big deal. It was all a power trip. My BF was also trying to convince htem and being nice about it. So.. I get home and my "best friend" has an immature away message up stating "F*** You _____ F*** YOU etc etc so immature, announcing it to the entire world when honestly, I did nothing wrong. WE did not leave them stranded! THEY WALKED OFF! And they had a ride. I dont know what to do. This girl is downright psychotic when she drinks and I dont know if I could handle living with her. but we have been friends for so long without any problems. should I forgive her? Try talking it out with her? Block her/avoid her and find another roomate? PLEASE HELP!
Citizen Erased Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 I really can't tell you what to do in regards to keeping a friendship with this girl, but one this is for certain... You should NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!!!!! Move in with her. Any person who cannot control their drinking cannot control their life. She has shown a blatant disregard for your friendship by speaking to you in a way most enemies dont even do. She is not trustworthy and you should not put yourself through the hell of her disregard for your home if you did move in together. Trust me, if you want to keep any kind of relationship with her, do not move in together.
tiptup Posted June 18, 2007 Posted June 18, 2007 I agree with darlin coco. If you want to forgive her and still be friends with her that is fine. Just don't let her keep repeating this type of behavior towards you over and over making you a doormat. But whatever you do don't move in with her. If she has alcohol problems and gets so trashed she starts cussing out her friends over the phone, and basically steals your car for awhile, how could you trust her with half the rent for a year or so lease on an apartment? And if all this drama is going on right now, how will you get away from it if she lives with you? I wouldn't move in with somebody like that. Even if you are best friends. Try to find a more stable roomate or at least make sure that you two move into an apartment that you can afford by yourself if she doesn't keep up the rent.
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