Divine Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Its been over a year since my break up and i am still having some issues coping. I have had good days and bad days nedless to say, i dont think i have gotten a good night sleep in over a year. It will be my ex-birthday in a few days, and for some reason its like i took a turn for the worst. I am not angry over him not wanting to be with me, i am not looking to get him back or anything like that, but i just cannot keep back the tears when i think about how he treated me like i wasnt a human being and i had no feelings at all. After being in a 3 year relationship and being lied to and cheated on, it definatley dont make thing better, when the person you love and trust the most in the world says, "thats life and it goes on", thats all i got and he moved on with the girl he cheated on me with, gave her the same ring he picked out for me, and will be getting married on the same day we picked out. I may be wrong, or i guess that life, but i think he is the most heartless person in the world.
Outofluck Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Sorry to hear about that situation. I know that it is tough when the other person moves on and it feels like your just living life in idle mode. I think that you have to convince yourself that this person is not for you..if you haven't done so already. I also think that the way he treated you is what is bothering you the most..no apology given..just an "oh well" type of attitude. Most times, we don't get to end a relationship on our terms, they just seem to end. At least you say you are having good days and bad days which is a sign of moving in the right direction. I hope, for your sake, that you are not contacting this person and please don't do so on the birthday either, it will only make you feel worse. Make sure you build each day on the previous one and you will wake up one day to find that you are not together for a reason. Just think, his new partner will now be with a cheater...and you won't. Good for you.
tinke Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 as stated in the previous post, you are freed of a cheater...celebrate! wow, i know how deep that pain goes...the disregard, nonchalant attitude, etc. when i find myself mourning the loss of my ex, i distract those thoughts and replace them with..HE CHEATED ON YOU!!! WEASEL! yes, those bad days can be torture, but think about it..you now have some good days in there, also. bet those weren't there in the begining a year ago. if you objectively look at the grieving process from the beginning, i am sure you have come a long way...give yourself credit! at the start i was paralyzed, thought about him constantly, relived those times over and over, attempted to get some sort of understanding(no reply from him), nauseated, non-functioning. how about you? and how about now? i HAVE come a long way, i am sure you have too, if you just stop to notice. and you will continue to do so, allow yourself. i remind myself that he will not occupy my thoughts anymore (i do try my best to divert those thoughts). they are not as intense as they once were, at least not as frequent. the truth is, he is not hinking of me. much as you, he did not even care of my feelings, etc. i keep reminding myself that he chose to disregard me the way in which he did. keep going strong, know that those set-backs are normal and TEMPORARY. please don't call that man for his b-day. the sound of this voice may put you right back to day 1. did he call you on your b-day? any holiday? was he concerned about you after the break-up? think about it. instead of calling him, do something nice in celebration for someone else. buy someone a little token gift...do something special for them. do nice things for you...remember you deserve it!
patwheel Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Same story as mine...ex andI were together for almost 3 years, and she went away with some other guy. For me, almost a year and a half later, after dating other girls and yada yada, I still think about how it was being with my ex and the "comfort" of a relationship. A couple of days ago, I've emailed her, congratulating her on finishing up law school, and well, it kinda felt good to just get the word out there. I am not angry at her, Idont want to be with her anymore and I dont really care whether or not she contacts me. Afterall, she is still with the same guy. But as tinke said in my thread and just here, there is no real point for us(dumpee) to contact them when they completely disregarded us to begin with! WIshing him a good birthday or congratulating my ex on her graduation may give us some warm feelings, but will not affect our exes the same way at all...and may open up old wounds. I know it is hard to get over stuff like this, but today is a pretty day in LA and you should go out and get a tan on!!!
Recommended Posts