ULuvIt Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 ok...lot of good advice on these boards but as always my story is slightly unique....and i hate myself cause I should of known better. ..I had been dumped after a 5 yr relationship with my gf/partner at the time...and all though cut up about it I just got on with things investing my time into my work and everything was going ok....anyhow a month or so later on a works nightout one of the salesgirls came on to me, (we had been flirting emails for a time before hand, but I didnt think there was anything in it)....I remember the scene well as she was forcing me up onto the dance floor...I remember saying "U have danger written all over u"....but she was stunning, and said just go for it...and I sure did as we started kissing on the dancefloor...after we had spilled out of the nightclub and sat on a parkbench she dropped a few bombshells.....erm, I have kids...erm...I am with someone.....at this time there about 50 red lights saying walk away.....but did I mention she was stunning?!.....so of course I said what any hot bloodied guy on the rebound would do....no problem I said, doesnt bother me. So started a whirlwind affair of about 6 months....x-rated emails, fone calls, visits to my place for a few hours....and overnight I became the other man, but I didnt care...I was feeling on top of the world. So here comes the kicker.....she got another job, a week before she left I sensed something was up, but conviced my self that was just down to emotions of new job, but fearered the enivetable...but a few weeks later after she started the new job in came the emails (good times)...but they kind of lacked any emotion, so my replies were light hearted not too heavy, because she needs time to settle into her new job I thought....but after a month or so I put her on the spot...."lets do lunch?" The answer I got back was feable, "I only get 30 mins for lunch and your so far away"...so I put her on the spot and asked her if we were thru...and of course the reply I got was what I feared....no reason, no explination, just that we were thru.(Bad Times) ...after saying I was gutted but accepted it (Secrectly I was devestated...never had felt this way about someone before)...we still kept in contact just by emailing each other jokes, and a few light hearted comments..cause we got on so well, same sense of humour and I thought well if I cant see you I still want to be friends........this went on for a few months but this came to an abrupt stop a few weeks ago, when suddenly the jokes stoped and her IM user disappeared from my screen...no explination. ...so here is the problem, as you can see I have not practiced the NC concept even though it was LC...never realised that was the way to go...but of course she is the dumper and has beaten me to it!!...what I am wrestling with is why has she done what she has done to me, what did I do wrong, why the sudden cut-off, etc...oh and here is the sucker punch...I am so in love with her...but never got the chance to tell her...and that moment is gone....I have been tearing myself up inside about this for months, and of course there isnt anyone I can talk to about this, oh what a mess. I know I am being stupid, but I cant help the way I am feeling, ...so I wait for your words of wisdom....while I finish this bottle of smirnoff
LakesideDream Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 Ulovit, Something similar occured immediately following my divorce from a 25 year marriage. It was great for the ego, and certainly a help in soothing the pain... as with you it left me pretty beat up. Being a different kind of guy I guess, my remedy was 16 year old Glenlivit. I was a favorite at the area's only gormet booze outlet. six plus years later, I'm having trouble finishing a bottle..... a year! So there is hope. Good luck, and good hunting. While my experiance is no example, many say that "there's someone out there for everyone".
Author ULuvIt Posted June 17, 2007 Author Posted June 17, 2007 Thanks man.... My head knows its time to let go and move on but these lousy emotions keep me hanging on to the slightest hope of keeping in touch with her....its pathetic. ....they say too much of anything is not good for you....so I stopped the whiskey for a bit and started on the smirnoff
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