Lynna Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 Hi everyone, I am new to this forum though I have been posting on another for awhile. I just learned that a friend's wife has run up multiple thousands of dollars of credit card bills and withdrawn multiple thousands of dollars from their joint account and put them into an account in her own name. There is other money still unaccounted for. It sounds to me like she is getting ready to leave, but everytime he tries to talk to her about it she is either sick or has to be somewhere. They have been in a pretty loveless affair for awhile but neither did anything about it because of the kids. It seems pretty faultless on both sides, they both just changed and drifted apart, they were not even fighting much until now. Now it seems to me like she is getting ready to bolt, but is trying to take WAY more than half of everything. What can he do to protect his assests? I am telling him he needs to talk to a lawyer, IMMEDIATELY but he still wants to try to talk to her. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks!
Trialbyfire Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 If they have thousands of dollars lying around as cash assets, I'll assume they also have property or investments. If so, how can she possibly take more than half, if she bolts?
Author Lynna Posted June 16, 2007 Author Posted June 16, 2007 I assume she is trying to put aside money in her own name, and then take half of their property and joint assets as well. And leave him with all the credit card bills.
2sunny Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 my advice woould be to stay out of it. he's a big boy and will figure it out on his own. unless you feel the need to control the whole situation for another reason?
Tony T Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 Hi everyone, I am new to this forum though I have been posting on another for awhile. I just learned that a friend's wife has run up multiple thousands of dollars of credit card bills and withdrawn multiple thousands of dollars from their joint account and put them into an account in her own name. There is other money still unaccounted for. It sounds to me like she is getting ready to leave, but everytime he tries to talk to her about it she is either sick or has to be somewhere. They have been in a pretty loveless affair for awhile but neither did anything about it because of the kids. It seems pretty faultless on both sides, they both just changed and drifted apart, they were not even fighting much until now. Now it seems to me like she is getting ready to bolt, but is trying to take WAY more than half of everything. What can he do to protect his assests? I am telling him he needs to talk to a lawyer, IMMEDIATELY but he still wants to try to talk to her. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks! This guy needs to get a spine and stop looking out for yourself. Don't get involved in this situation. If he's not smart enough to stop the drain of his assets by his wife, then he may need psychological help. Maybe you ought to recommend counseling for him. If she takes money and spends it while they are still married...or hides assets through other people...it will be VERY difficult for him to get things back in a divorce.
Trialbyfire Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 She can't do that. It will all come onto the table when it's time to lay out the terms and conditions of the separation. Personally, I think she's smart to ensure she has some funds to live on, while engaging in negotiations of settlement. As long as she leaves him with assets such as property, he has more assets than she does.
Tony T Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 She can't do that. It will all come onto the table when it's time to lay out the terms and conditions of the separation. Personally, I think she's smart to ensure she has some funds to live on, while engaging in negotiations of settlement. As long as she leaves him with assets such as property, he has more assets than she does. How do you figure? A judge will go back and see exactly what she took prior to the divorce and establish a total value from that. There can be a lot of inequities if she takes the money. Since we don't know how much money there is or how much their property is worth, we have no idea if he'll be better off with the property. What she is doing is improper in every respect. Yes, she is protecting herself but she's going to pay in the end when the judge makes her come back to the table with everything she's pilfered and she'll look very foolish. These kinds of things need to be handled out front and in a fair way. Her taking assets and socking them away will be an indication to the court of her honesty and fairness during the marriage.
Trialbyfire Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 How do you figure? A judge will go back and see exactly what she took prior to the divorce and establish a total value from that. There can be a lot of inequities if she takes the money. Since we don't know how much money there is or how much their property is worth, we have no idea if he'll be better off with the property. What she is doing is improper in every respect. Yes, she is protecting herself but she's going to pay in the end when the judge makes her come back to the table with everything she's pilfered and she'll look very foolish. These kinds of things need to be handled out front and in a fair way. Her taking assets and socking them away will be an indication to the court of her honesty and fairness during the marriage. Anyone who is looking to exit a marriage needs to have some funds for living expenses while negotiating. No doubt it is communal property but for the interim, it's a way to ensure there's no financial blackmail upfront. You cannot be in a position to negotiate, if you negotiate from the lineup for the food bank.
Author Lynna Posted June 16, 2007 Author Posted June 16, 2007 I have no vestment in this situation other than trying to help a friend who asked for advice. He is actually a friend of both my husband and myself. Neither my husband or I have been in this kind of situation before so to help him I just thought I would post here. Ultimately of course it is his decision but I was just going to pass on anything helpful that I could to him. He is actually very willing to talk with her about this and really wants to have a just and equitable division of their assets. They just grew apart, there has been no fighting previously, in fact, not much of anything, so he does not want to contest the idea of getting a divorce, he is just completely baffled by why she has all of a sudden gotten so secretive and so unwilling to discuss anything without attacking him. He would not deprive her of funds at any time, but also she works at a pretty good job, so there is no way she would be bereft. He just wants things evenly divided. He does not want to be left with all the debt and very little of the assets.
Lizzie60 Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 Hi everyone, I am new to this forum though I have been posting on another for awhile. I just learned that a friend's wife has run up multiple thousands of dollars of credit card bills and withdrawn multiple thousands of dollars from their joint account and put them into an account in her own name. There is other money still unaccounted for. It sounds to me like she is getting ready to leave, but everytime he tries to talk to her about it she is either sick or has to be somewhere. They have been in a pretty loveless affair for awhile but neither did anything about it because of the kids. It seems pretty faultless on both sides, they both just changed and drifted apart, they were not even fighting much until now. Now it seems to me like she is getting ready to bolt, but is trying to take WAY more than half of everything. What can he do to protect his assests? I am telling him he needs to talk to a lawyer, IMMEDIATELY but he still wants to try to talk to her. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks! EXit... Joint account is the worst thing... I would never ever have a joint account with my partner... for that reason. I think you should stay out of this... he knows what he has to do but won't do it... so no one can really help. If I were him I would close the joint account... get a lawyer ASAP. He will be responsible for the credit cards too... so I think he's somewhat stupid not to look after his assets more than that...when he knows what is going on.. methink he's a bit naive...but he'll learn... LOL Women get ripped off but men do too!
Recommended Posts