funkybassplayer Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 I have recently been dumped by a girl, that i loved and would have done anything for. I have over the past few weeks, (7) been on this site and have seen myself in the same cycle as loads of others, somehow feeling better in that i am really no way alone! I have noticed that time, and thinking changes the way we see the peson that we loved. I have lear'nd so much from this break-up, and the most important is self respect. I DO REALLY MISS THE EX AND HER KIDS but i have come to the realisation that she proberbly does not give a **** about how i am! .........at least for now. My thoughts of her have gone from she is a lovely girl that i cant live without to bloody hell i had a lucky escape! Venting mt feelings on here has really helped me become more focused in my goal, which is to be that same person i was before i met her. I have realised that being in the realationship with her sucked up my enery, and turned me into something im not-insecure! she had so many issues that i had to deal with from her ex hubby that she would not divorce to move on with me, to her locking her own daugther in the house on a school day! I think now, what did i find so good about her? She was always ill, sleepy, selfish and very self centered, and all i wanted to do was love her and be good to her. When we broke up she plaeaed to be friends, and i did, her saying i can be part of the kids lifes and stuff. I agreed, and with in a wek she had found someone new, and i was not allowed contact with her or the kids. This deeply hurt me, but as time has gone on, and i have shed tears and longing for the family that i was part of, i find myself thinking, she did not deserve me, what if i would have sold my house to live with her, how mant times would i have to wait for her to get over a hang over to go out for the day with the kids. Is this the llife i would have wanted! No way! What really helped me was sending back all her stuff in the post and walking away. It gave me pride, and self respect that i felt i had lost, and strenth. I felt i had left all the trouble behind me, after all i was a rock for her and her problems and her family. She blew it, she lost me. Yes i still have hours of saddness for the life that i wanted, but i feel it was one that she would never be able to offer me. One of mutual respect, kindness, and caring. I was in it for the long term, she had a time limit and never told me. I have done y greiving and still getting over it, but i have walked away with pride! What i have leant is that you must not think about what they are doing or up to, there is no point, you have to look after number 1! we would have had the perfect life if she just belived in me, but she never, and prefered to lay depressed on a couch than let me support her. Its a shame, but i know now no matter what i would have done, she would never have changed. Love plays tricks on the mind, and its only when the fog clears that you see what you were trying to do. There is no dought that i love her and the kids, and will always be there for her, but now i have taken my life back, and she should be scared that she will never hear from me again. I will not contact her again. The last time i spoke to her, i left her in no dought that (although she knows im slowly moving on) i missed her and the kids. But now whatever i have took my life back. Yes i still writes here, but i know im far from healed, but at least now i know what i have to do. Is up to me now to take that edge back and go forward with my life. So far this site has given me more support than family and friends, and has helped me re-discover that life does go on after being in love............Thank you all.
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