StayClose Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 It's hard to find a man who doesn't cheat though. Look at Halle Berry, she's hot and makes millions yet her husband was a sex addict who cheated on her. Finding a faithful guy is extremely hard. I don't want a man who is attractive or successful. I like to be the dominant one... I think attractive and successful men are more likely to cheat. If finding a man who doesn't cheat is difficult, then you really need to re-examine the way you pick men. If you filter out men who don't play the "chase" game extemely well, then then you only get those who have had a lot of practice - the "players."
OpenBook Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Heck, I'd be happy to find someone who loves me for ME, and not in terms of my ability to please HIM. I've been running into a lot of men lately who seem to evaluate potential mates in terms of their ability to take care of THEM, not for any particular traits that the woman possesses. They just want a caretaker. Doesn't matter what SHE wants, or the things she's interested in. It's her ability to adapt to HIM that counts. It's all about HIM. That ain't love. Oh, and I think bald men are HOT. Color me crazy.
bestlifenow Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 I'm 4 months into a divorce after having been married 31, almost 32 years. It's been over a year since he moved out. With some time and distance, I've been able to see more honestly who I am, strengths and weaknesses and the same goes for how I see him now. I think you have to know what you want and need to be able to evaluate the potential for a relationship. Just remember that no one is perfect, they just have to be perfect for you!
Mr. Lucky Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Here's what the man you want is looking for in a woman: attractive, smart, financially secure, honest, hard working, strong family values, good morals, humorous, ambitious, creative, outspoken, loving, kind, independent, and healthy. Good people tend to attract good people Mr. Lucky
Author Butterflying Posted June 21, 2007 Author Posted June 21, 2007 I truly appreciate ALL your feedback. You really have me thinking...perhaps I'm not EVERYTHING I thought I was. But the only two things that are questionable is my humor and my attraction. Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I realize that everyone won't find me physically attractive. And humor is also determined by the audience. I know that I'm all the other things because they are factual (finances, ect.). Even my friend who started this conversation has complimented me on my intellect, kindness, and integrity. I have a lot of friends who love me and I love them. So I feel very confident with my overall interpersonal skills. But I am not arrogant. Sometimes, people confuse confidence with arrogance. I've spent these past few years really getting to know myself. That is how I came up with the list. I honestly described myself. Then I flipped it and said, I want somebody who is similar to me. As for the list being inflexible and too picky...there are many other things that I am. But I don't require those things of my mate. For instance, I'm a good cook. I'm very organized. I'm rich (but I live a regular lifestyle and nobody knows this about me). I don't have any children. Ect, Ect.. The only people who know my financial status are close relatives and friends. I've never gotten close enough with a man to share my finances with him. Actually, I would never share my finances with anyone unless we are discussing marriage. But because of my occupation, everyone knows I'm financially secure. I don't boast or brag about anything. I want the man to have his own money and take care of himself financially. I don't want him to be like a child that I'm supporting. The list is basically a general guidline for the type of man I want. I don't judge a man on the first date. I spend time getting to know him. If he's financially secure, obviously, he will be smart. If he's hard working and smart, he will be financially secure. My idea of a smart man is one who can hold a decent conversation with me about politics, religion, relatiionships, or anything. Overall, if a man is all of these things, then he will be attractive to me. So everything falls into place. I could narrow the list down to: 1)Financially Secure 2)Honest 3)Healthy 4)Independent 5)Ambitious But I wanted you to have a genaral, overall view of the type of man I'm speaking of. The other 10 qualities help define these top 5 qualities. And as for the perfect man...what's perfect for one person may be different to another person. I'm not perfect. But I am everything I've described myself to be. If you think that's perfect...then all I can say is "Thank you." You must be the man I'm looking for. And if you're a woman, perhaps I should consider being a lesbian JK.
4whatItsWorth Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 WOW your list is impressive... No wonder you're still single... you're looking for the perfect man...and I'm sorry to disappoint you but this type of guy doesn't exist... He does exist...well, except he is not as outspoken. But he's mine.
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 Each man or woman brings different things to the relationship table. If you're a needy person, you will find someone with offsetting strengths to fill the void(s) within yourself. Many times, the strong will attract the weak creating a co-dependency which isn't healthy, regardless of how ego-bloated it makes people. Refer to the symptoms of a person with NPD. In my opinion, the best relationships are where both parties are strong enough to continue being individuals but want to invest in each other. It doesn't mean that they both can't or don't rely on each other. As expressed by another member, the reliance is what can help to hold the relationship together. Well....besides caring and mutual core values, that is. So...that's my list. Can I bring my portion of this to the table? I don't know but I can most certainly try my damndest, next go-around.
VIP Posted June 22, 2007 Posted June 22, 2007 I am everything I've described myself to be. If you think that's perfect...then all I can say is "Thank you." A human being is more, than a sum of characteristics and qualities. A personality, that fits your description is not perfect, it's quite ordinary. Are you a kind, spiritual, selfless, loving person? And your perfect man? You both may have something in common, like a love of money, knowledge of abstract ideas, etc. But I don't think money or common hobbies are enough to create a lasting loving relationship.
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