txwildorchid Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 I have had my profile on an internet dating site for a long time. In the past several months, I have only logged onto the site when I received an email notifying me that I had mail. I haven't subscribed to the site because, frankly, I had lost interest in dating for a period of time. Then, out of the blue one day, I had a man to initiate contact with me by sending an email along with his phone numbers. I eventually called him back & we spent a lot of time talking on the phone and then he asked me to meet him for a drink. We had a great evening together the first date and really hit it off. Although I knew that he wanted me to go back to his place, I politely declined and he told me that he respected that, we went our separate ways. Over the course of the next week after our first date, we had another 3 dates. On the 4th date, we were intimate. The week following that, he became a little distant. We were still talking on the phone & emailing but he didn't seem to want to make plans to get together. Anytime that we did talk about getting together, he would end up cancelling with some excuse about him having to work or spending time with his friends. Then, he called me & promised that he would take me to lunch, cancelled on that too but promised to meet me for dinner. He ended up cancelling dinner too. During the same time all of that was going on, we had talked about a business trip he had coming up and he had asked me to join him to spend the weekend with him. I had made plans to join him until the day before the trip when he cancelled not only lunch plans but the dinner plans to. I interpreted this as being another blow off and I decided that it was best that I didn't make the trip and told him so. Then, I got an email from him telling me that we should slow things down. I sent him a response and told him that I couldn't agree with him more. I told him how much I liked him but that I would back off, and that the next move was his to make. The truth is I really like this guy and could see both of us being really happy together. I firmly believe there is a potential long term relationship for us but I think we've both gotten kinda scared about the whole thing. My dilemma is...did I do the right thing by putting the ball in his court?
jcster Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 I think you did the only thing you could do - he made it obvious that the ball was in his court all along by blowing you off. I wouldn't invest too much hope in his calling you for another dinner date - it sounds like he was just trolling for sex. A good sign seems to be multiple dates in one week. It's almost as if they say to themselves: "hmmm, she doesn't put out on the first date - I guess I better call her for 4 dates this week and then I'll get me some." I think the 4 dates in one week might be a handy tip off in the future. These guys also seem to be pretty cowardly - they won't come right out and say they got what they wanted - they give the old "we need to slow things down" crudola. I mean, if he was so worried about moving too quickly, he wouldn't have moved so quickly - if you get my drift.
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