txwildorchid Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 I have had my profile on an internet dating site for a long time. In the past several months, I have only logged onto the site when I received an email notifying me that I had mail. I haven't subscribed to the site because, frankly, I had lost interest in dating for a period of time. Then, out of the blue one day, I had a man to initiate contact with me by sending an email along with his phone numbers. I eventually called him back & we spent a lot of time talking on the phone and then he asked me to meet him for a drink. We had a great evening together that night and really hit it off. Although I knew that he wanted me to go back to his place, I politely declined and he told me that he respected that, we went our separate ways. Over the course of the next week after our first date, we had another 3 dates. On the 4th date, we were intimate. The week following that, he became a little distant. We were still talking on the phone & emailing but he didn't seem to want to make plans to get together. Anytime that we did talk about getting together, he would end up cancelling with some excuse about him having to work or spending time with his friends. Then, he called me & promised that he would take me to lunch, cancelled on that too but promised to meet me for dinner. He ended up cancelling dinner too. During the same time all of that was going on, we had talked about a business trip he had coming up and he had asked me to join him to spend the weekend with him. I had made plans to join him until the day before the trip when he cancelled not only lunch plans but the dinner plans to. I interpreted this as being another blow off and I decided that it was best that I didn't make the trip and told him so. Then, I got an email from him telling me that we should slow things down. I sent him a response and told him that I couldn't agree with him more, we did need to slow things down. I told him how much I liked him but that I would back off, and that the next move was his to make. The truth is I really like this guy and could see both of us being really happy together. I firmly believe there is a potential long term relationship for us but I think we've both gotten kinda scared about the whole thing. My dilemma is...did I do the right thing by putting the ball in his court?
Krytellan Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 Stand back and reread your post. It seems obvious to me anyway that he wanted to sleep with you and is now doing all he can to get out of seeing you. This is the most basic of techniques. It doesn't seem from his actions that he ever wants to see you again.
Author txwildorchid Posted June 19, 2007 Author Posted June 19, 2007 Well, I'm glad to say that I have answered my own question. I believe I did do the right thing. I did the "heisman" thing and after the weekend of him not being around & nc on my part, well, he was quick to want to make a date w/me after he came back from his business trip. So, I guess we will see where it goes from the next date...
Lizzie60 Posted June 19, 2007 Posted June 19, 2007 I would not see this guy again... if I were in your shoes... Trust me, if the guy was really into you... you would have seen him a lot. He wanted to have sex with you.. he had what he wanted and for some reason, he lost interest... so move on... I am waayy too independent to even give a guy like that another chance.... not even put the ball in his court... NO way... I have to say that the same thing happened to me... this bus driver... I would get on the bus each day... we flirted...he would place his mirror so he could see me... anyway... long story short.. I took him to my place one afternoon... (about one month after we started our flirting) we had sex... I thought he was a really bad lover... it was only that one time... that was about 2 1/2 years ago... we still talk, he still calls me... we went for a little drive last week to look at some beautiful houses closed to the bus stop.. we remained friends... but I have no desire to see him on a sexual basis anymore... I'm not saying you were a bad lover but there is something that 'turned him off' or he simply wanted sex... so you're on the 'back burner' for now... and if he ever feels 'lonely' he will call you... so unless you want to make yourself available for his sexual needs then you need to move on and 'flush' him...before he 'flushes' you.
Author txwildorchid Posted June 19, 2007 Author Posted June 19, 2007 Thanks Lizzie for your 2 cents, but I think I want to take my chances to see where this next date goes. I do know that beyond a doubt intimacy will not be a part of this next date. I may be dumb enough to fall for it once but not twice. So, we shall see! Thanks again!
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