MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Here I go again. Guy A I have known for 2 years. We were intimate (no intercourse) that first summer/fall but hardly saw each other because he worked a lot, and neither of us was ready for anything serious. We tried hooking up again just over a year ago, and that also fizzled. I dated someone else for ten months. When that ended, we hooked up once again, but again, he pulled back. This time I told him we are better off just being friends, and he has agreed. Sounds like a player right? Well far from it. He’s quite um…nerdy. Has had maybe 2 girlfriends since is wife who, when married, were both 30yr old virgins. He is a bit eccentric but now lately has been trying to hook up with me again. Maybe it’s because I’ve been meeting other guys online and told him so. He is a bit jealous of that, he admits it, and thinks I could go out with any guy I wanted, but he also said at some point he would let me know when he wants to be exclusive, but isn’t quite ready because he doesn’t know how much time he can commit to me, as his business is very short-staffed. I’m busy too, and have one evening a week and alternate weekends available for dating. He gets along great with my kids, has a shytload of money, I would be so spoiled, but would I be happy? Bored? Lonely? Is he everything I ever really wanted or is it just the money? When I go out with him, he gets a goodnight kiss, but that is it. Okay a hug too. Guy B I met a couple months ago online. We have had only a few dates, but have had sex (sorry, I couldn’t hold back as usual). We found out we went to the same schools when we were younger, know a lot of the same people we grew up with, very coincidental that we would meet on line, or is it fate? He is very cute (if you can call a 44 yr old cute, I am 41). Super nice, likes to cook/bake, but is also very busy as he works two jobs (one in retail, one part time) and I’m sure doesn’t have a lot of money and works weekends - but maybe would be more fun, more lively. He hasn’t met my kids yet but I think he would get along with them no problem. I make alot more than him, not that I have extra cash to throw around with my kids, mortgage, car payment, etc. Here is my dilemma. Guy A has been awfully attentive again, we even talked about future marriage expectations, and relationship fears, and we are very close, but is it just friendship? Do I give him another chance? Do I stop getting to know Guy B? Am I two-timing? Stringing along? At this point I don’t think I am doing anything wrong. But I am worried I might get myself into a pickle! I can't forget Guy A, he is such a good friend, and our business are a bit tied, so I will run into him, and do not want to hurt either of them although it may be unavoidable if I keep this up too much longer. I want just one guy this summer even if that means a few extra lonely evenings. At what point, if at all, do I need to talk about exclusivity with Guy B? Do I tell him I have a really good male friend I hang out with sometimes, who wants to date me eventually? I’m sure that wouldn’t go over too well. I hope I don’t sound shallow. At my age there is a lot to consider going into another relationship.
jcster Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 What do you want? By the time we get to our age (41) that becomes the primary question. It's not an issue of money or hell, even good genetics. Which one of these guys are you going to want to wake up next to a year from now? I think you already know the answer.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 15, 2007 Author Posted June 15, 2007 I wish I knew! I have had 4 dates with Guy B in a month, it has been hard to coordinate our schedules to date, with both guys. Guy A has freed up more time for me than he ever has in two years. I have had to say no to HIM for a change. I'm scared that if I give up on Guy B, and tell him that this isn't right for me, even though I haven't spent enough time to evaluate whether or not it really is, that Guy A will back off again. Guy A is expanding his business, I can foresee some workaholism here. Guy B is talking about quitting the PT job, but also looking for a new FT job. No, it's not money as much as security, although I can take care of myself, but do I want to have my morning coffee on his huge patio by the pool all alone? Or would I rather sit in a tiny kitchen with the love of my life every morning? Go to work every day? Or go shopping? j/k.
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