patwheel Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 After almost a year and a half later of no contact, from the break up, just saying that I wanted to congratulate her for finishing up law school and good luck for the bar. Now... I have to say, I actually feel relieved from contacting her. All of this time, I have been thinking about her, and more but I refrained myself from all contact and I have been doing pretty well going out having fun and all that. I have no idea whether or not she will contact me, I doubt it, but I don't really care at this point. She was an important part of my life, and I will always have a place for her, if she wants to be friends. A relationship with her again? Never again. I guess I am telling all of you that the no contact helps in the beginning to heal, but after some times it may be good to have some sort of final closure. Going back to me and my ex, what do you guys think will happen? Any input on past experiences with that long of NC? Thanks you all!
Quest Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 It does sound as if you care if she gets back to you or not and are holding out some hope. I've had people get back in contact with me a long time after dumping me or otherwise letting me down and in most cases I haven't been interested. (Once I decided to give it another go and guess what ... he let me down again ... doh!) I suppose it depends if you hurt her or not, whether she hurt you or whether it was a mutual split. If you hurt her, hopefully she'll have got herself together and moved on. If she hurt you, hopefully you've got yourself together and moved on (but why the contact?) If it was mutual, then maybe the contact will allow closure, friendship or reconciliation. Don't think friendship or reconciliation are very common when one person has really hurt the other. But I guess every person is different and therefore every relationship too.
tinke Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 i guess i'd have to say...do what is right for you. if you feel you had to contact her to let her know she was on your mind and you wish her well...so be it. however...be careful not to set yourself up for rejection. people know how to contact you if they choose to, there is little that can get in the way(even pride). i have been one who did go back to a relationship more than one time, and i've learned patterns repeat themselves. i was hurt over again. a relationship does take 2 very willing participants to put every effort into it, and also, be there during the toughest of times. it is very easy to run. i am speaking of her..what would stop her from leaving again? if love WAS there the first time, she disregarded you and the relationship when she left. so, what would change this time? those are the hard questions we all must face, no matter how much WE want it to work. we cannot do the other's work for them, they must be just as willing. take care of you. if it was meant to be, it will happen. be patient, and let her do the initiation. take care.
Author patwheel Posted June 16, 2007 Author Posted June 16, 2007 Thank you all for your responses I would be lying if I said that I do not care about her, and maybe yes deep down inside I am still longing some love from her. I see the points that you are making, and they are all very right, especially for the what would prevent her from making the first move to contact me back when she left me afterall... I am happy right now, I think I probably was holding these thoughts that I have sent her(which are really nothing afterall, "i hope that you are doing ok, congrats on the graduation and good luck for the bar review"). I haven't said anything about us, me or anything else. Innocent, right? Then again, I know that words can be reinterpreted either ways. I moved on long ago dated and all and been too busy with work anyways to be concerned with any past romantic drama and plunge back into that realm. She hasnt contacted me back, saw that she read the email from her blackberry and no word since. Probably will not hear from her, but what good would it do anyways? Thanks everyone
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