ARDriver01 Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Last night my wife of 4 years went out to our local hangout/bar to see our friends. Formerly her friends, now our friends kinda thing. When we were first married, she always wanted to hang out with these guys. I came to find out quickly afterwards that she had been intimately involved involved with each of them a few years prior to our relationship. So they all know her like I do. Physically. For a good two years I protested the idea of hanging out with them all together. I stood strong and stubborn. She played the prisioner roll and tried to make me feel bad for taking her friends away. So I decided that we could both hang out with them, even though I really felt it very, very uncomfortable. But, I got use to it. I even let her hang out with my friends in the Air Force while I was deployed. Three of them tryed to get too close to her and she told me that she couldn't hang out with them anymore and I said "Great neither can I!" She started hanging out with this family from our church while I was deployed. They had three teenagers, 1 girl and 2 boys. So yeah... She slept with one of the boys and had a three week affair starting one week before I came home from the Mid East, and lasting two weeks before I figured out that something was up and blew it all to pieces. A few months after, we took a trip home to LA. She wanted to hang out with her guy friends and I was like "F*ck that, NO WAY!"etc... She protested heavily and went anyway. She came back two minutes later to argue more about her right to do what she wants and so forth, and I said "Fine... You want me to be Mr. Cool Guy. The naive husband that lets his wife do whatever? I said sure, lets go hang out, have all the friends you want, I'm sick of arguing with you and trying to prevent something from happening again." It's really not worth worrying about wether or not it's going to happen again. If it does, than I'm free, and I can start over. My biggest fear now, is "What if she's lying to me." I let her go hiking with her a guy friend, and coffee with another, and last night, I was going to go to the bar with her because I wanted to be social but I was way too tiered. She went and I expected her home late and she called at 4am to tell me she was puking and drunk and going to stay the night at her friends house. A guy friends house. I know all these guys. Just like I knew the guy she cheated on me with. Sleep overs are not okay! Why didn't she have him take her home to her husband? Any advise. It would be greatly appreciated before I confront her about this.
Shan2k Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 This must be a serious issue because you posted it twice! LOL!
bish Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Dude. I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of this tramp of a wife's mouth. She really thinks its ok for her to go out partying after she slept with a teenage boy and started an affair later? I'd say divorce her. And if you have kids with her, get custody. A statuatory rapist that wants to party has no business raising kids. This woman is trash, so treat her as such and put her out with the rest of the garbage.
Darth Vader Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Dude. I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of this tramp of a wife's mouth. She really thinks its ok for her to go out partying after she slept with a teenage boy and started an affair later? I'd say divorce her. And if you have kids with her, get custody. A statuatory rapist that wants to party has no business raising kids. This woman is trash, so treat her as such and put her out with the rest of the garbage. I agree wholeheartly! Lose this sorry excuse for a woman, if that's what you want to call her! MAN UP!
ConfusedButLoved Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 I even let her hang out with my friends in the Air Force while I was deployed. Three of them tryed to get too close to her and she told me that she couldn't hang out with them anymore and I said "Great neither can I!" You "let" her? Are you her father or her husband? She started hanging out with this family from our church while I was deployed. They had three teenagers, 1 girl and 2 boys. So yeah... She slept with one of the boys and had a three week affair starting one week before I came home from the Mid East, and lasting two weeks before I figured out that something was up and blew it all to pieces.And you stayed with her why? few months after, we took a trip home to LA. She wanted to hang out with her guy friends and I was like "F*ck that, NO WAY!"etc... She protested heavily and went anyway.Well I don't blame you for not liking that idea (for very obvious reasons) but again you sound like her father. If you stayed with a wife who is obviously a cheater, then you are just asking to get cheated on again. Were you reeeeally all that surprised when she wanted to go "hang out" with some guys? Cuz I don't even know her but I'm not surprised at all. She came back two minutes later to argue more about her right to do what she wants and so forth, and I said "Fine... You want me to be Mr. Cool Guy. The naive husband that lets his wife do whatever? I said sure, lets go hang out, have all the friends you want, I'm sick of arguing with you and trying to prevent something from happening again." I think thats the core of you're problems my friend. You are, to quote you "trying to prevent something from happening again." I don't know how long it will take but one day you will realized that you can't prevent anything. If it is in her to cheat, she will cheat, no matter how long or hard you protest. It's really not worth worrying about wether or not it's going to happen again. If it does, than I'm free, and I can start over. My biggest fear now, is "What if she's lying to me."You still seem in denial. I let her go hiking with her a guy friend, and coffee with another...Daddy... and last night, I was going to go to the bar with her because I wanted to be social but I was way too tiered. She went and I expected her home late and she called at 4am to tell me she was puking and drunk and going to stay the night at her friends house. A guy friends house. I know all these guys. Just like I knew the guy she cheated on me with. Sleep overs are not okay! Why didn't she have him take her home to her husband? Omgosh you sound so much like her father its FREAKY!! You "expected her back" and "sleep overs". Do we really need to point out how much this relationship is not working? Let me sum it up for you. She is a military wife, lonely and bored. She wants to go have her fun (cake and eat it too) and still be married to you, and of course you are not ok with this, so you try and put her on a leash to "prevent" her from cheating and she of course is going to fight you on this... and around and around we go. Any advise. It would be greatly appreciated before I confront her about this.Before you confront it? Sounds to me like you've confronted it quite a few times, just not the way it should be confronted. There is only two things that can come of this, IMO. You stay with her and continue to be tortured everytime shes "hanging out" with her boyfriends, or you wise up and get out and realize she isn't going to change.
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