lookingforlife Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 ....Hello all. This is the first time I have gone through something like this...I wanted to know if anyone has any experience of someone they love going on anti-depressant medication?...and oh, how I love him. Me and J were together for 14 months...it was a hectic time. We both are creative and passionate and prone to depression...but we worked together and helped each other out. There were many fights due to personal doubt and sadness. His personal problems finally overwhelmed him, and I convinced him to go see a shrink. He went, he was put on meds, and three days later he broke-up with me...for months and months I had been putting my whole heart into helping him (he also helped me), and now I am tossed aside. How to deal? There is obviously a lot of details that I have not included here, but this post would be about 10 pages long if I was to include everything...but, basically, I am trying to stay friends with him, and to be there for him (because I am sure this is a very confusing time for him), but , at the same time I am really hurting myself, because I am not getting what I want and need from him, in return: a loving relationship, some attention...a little RESPECT. Please, if anyone has ANY advice on how to go about this...the medication is taking away his ability to really FEEL things (including ME, apparently), but I am scared for him and where he will end up...and I am still SO in love.
polywog Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 First of all, welcome to LS and sorry that you're going through this. It sucks, it hurts, but you're in the right place... there are some incredible people here. I guess I would like some more details. I am wondering what reason he gave to you for the break up? Also, I don't know what meds he is on, but most of them take several weeks or more to kick in. In the meantime, when you start on them, you often have all sorts of side effects, some unpleasant. I know all this from experience, as I take Zoloft and it took me some time to adjust. After just 3 days of taking them, he is in the stage of adjusting to the medication. It can be scary, so maybe he just wanted to crawl into a hole for a while and not have any sort of demands. Just a thought.
Author lookingforlife Posted June 15, 2007 Author Posted June 15, 2007 Thanks Polywog. I am glad to have found this place=) To reply to your questions, the reason he gave for the break-up was that he could not handle the 'emotions'...or the 'intensity' of the relationship. This really hurts, because I had been putting up with his chaotic emotions for many months ...and stood by his side through SO much, and am still right there by his side, although I am dying inside, and noone is caring for me in that special way. He is on Depramil and Epitec. I do not know much about these drugs. I can fully understand that he needs to retreat for a while...but I do not have a clue what I need to do in this situation. For my own sake should I suck it up, try to forget about him and move on? Or do I stand by his side, keeping my distance and trying to continue with my own life at the same time?? I love this man. This is killing me. He seems so indifferent towards me...intellectually I can understand what is doing this to him...but emotionally I am completely lost. Thanks again for the advice.
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