Sand&Water Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Newness Factor I am talking about the on-sight attractiveness and newness a man experiences when he encounters a woman (The New Woman) of his liking, after a period of absence from dating. Everything about her is fresh. Her outer shell is hard enough for him to understand his stance but attractive enough to lure him into her pot. Her soul dances around his with majestic movements and vibes. His soul, intensely, attempting to latch onto her energy with every waking moment they share. This happens all the time in the real world. It is not unfamiliar. BUT the man in this situation is not completely single. He is still in love with the other woman (the ex). Not only that but he didn't announce this, new turn of the story, until several months after the encounter. Why would he want to date The New Woman? Why? Why? Why? Why give her hope? Why open the door for her to fall in love with you? Why? Why? Why be willing to lead The New Woman on? Why? Player? Hopeless Romantic? Does the Newness Factor really cloud a man's judgment to the point of attainment? I may have been someone's bait for an interval of time, without knowing it. Can someone, please, explain this to me. Sand&Water
burning 4 revenge Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 men tend to like varietythere are women like that too. remember lizzy? i dont like variety if im in a relationship, but that very fact makes me less desirable to the majority of women
StayClose Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 How much of an ex is the ex? Are they still sleeping together despite a sort of "broken-up" status? Or has she moved on in her life while he still pines for her? Sometimes someone still longs for a past but dead relationship until they meet someone new. There's nothing wrong with this as long as the person is able to put the old relationship in the past. But if the person steps into a new relationship while keeping a foot (or maybe another appendege) in the old one, that is very unfair to the new person.
Lizzie60 Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 this New Woman should be very very careful... I tend to agree with LaRubia...a rebound case. If he's still in love with the ex... then let him finish with her first... just to protect yourself.
Author Sand&Water Posted June 15, 2007 Author Posted June 15, 2007 RE: Thank you, all, for the replies. Again: WHY is he doing this? WHY? men tend to like variety All men are not the same. Care to elaborate, Alpha? sounds like a rebound case to me..... Yes. I agree. Although, not 100% rebound. BUT: Why? and What should The New Woman do? How much of an ex is the ex? Or has she moved on in her life while he still pines for her? Good post, StayClose. I don't know how much of an ex she is, at the moment. All I know is: She has since moved on, with another guy. He claims they are just friends, as she is only giving him a platonic relationship. YET: He is still pinning after her. this New Woman should be very very careful... I tend to agree with LaRubia...a rebound case. If he's still in love with the ex... then let him finish with her first... just to protect yourself. I understand. What would you suggest The New Woman do? How could she get out of this? Should she tell him she no longer wants to be friends with him. Or just simply disappear -never to contact him again. Because he hasn't contacted The New Woman in over 2 1/2 weeks and counting! Sand&Water
laRubiaBonita Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 What would you suggest The New Woman do? How could she get out of this? if i was the new woman, i would buck it up, cut my losses, and remind myself i am a wonderful person who deserves someone who is willing to treat me as special as i know i am. the new woman should tell him, she thinks it would better if they were to be just friends... and then not talk with him for a week or so.
Apple Blossom Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Because he hasn't contacted The New Woman in over 2 1/2 weeks and counting! Sand&Water There is probably a reason for this. Things between you are over. If he hasn't contacted you for this length time after telling you he still has feelings for his ex, perhaps it was his way of trying to break up with you? Whilst I would suggest just making a clean break of it, it seems that you want answers, and simply walking away would leave you with too many questions. I think that you should ask him exactly where you stand, and demand to know exactly what is going on with this ex. I do think however, that unless he can assure you that his feelings for his ex are nothing more than platonic, that your best bet, for the sake of all involved, is to walk away from him. In answer to the 'why do they do this'. Because everyone gets confused about their feelings. Only a few people would malliciously string people along/cheat and so. For the majority such situations arise from confusion and things progressing further than people thought they would. We talk of ostriches burring their heads in the sand, but to be honest so do most people, especially when it comes to relationships. More specifically to your situation I think the guy did/does like you. My guess would be that he thought the feelings for his ex were natural and would fade over time. Then he met you and thought that they would dissappear all together. It would seem this has not been the case and he's told you because he obviously cares for you and wants to be honest with you. That would be my guess, but i don't know - he could just not be a very nice guy! Sorry about the length of this! Hope theres something in here thats useful!
Lucky555 Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 The guy should have really just dated a lot of girls prior to "sharing his connection with the new woman" He should have went out with guy friends, amped up his confidence and MOVED on, if thats what he really Wanted to do. Yeah connections are wonderful as long as you are up front and honest from the beginning before there is too much involvement. The guy would have not had a date from the woman, but they would have been closer as friends and maybe something better as time went on. To date the woman and let things drag on is not fair and selfish. I think that the new woman and guy could still be friends but thats all. She wouldn't trust him so much after this. The new woman should move on and find a new guy thats better than this guy that deceived her. Why would someone just go and play with someones heart? "because he could" "because he didn't care about her enough to be honest" "because he was lonely" "because he thought he would get an easy lay" "because he figured he needed to move on and date so he played with her heart for months! before telling her" Maybe the guy was a nice guy,but look at the facts here. The fact the he "chose" to "play" with her heart shows something, it could have been he was miserable and knowing that someone else liked him sounded better to him than thinking of his ex sleeping with someone else. Yeah the human psyche is very interesting, these are some factors that could be going through his mind, but he didn't care enough about the new woman. Thats the truth. Its hurtful to for one person to be "thinking there is potential with the guy when there isn't if he had not moved on" Um, i think that there are ways to get over some one though. Think of all the things that they taught you, think of the ways in which your life is better now, and think of all the possibilities life has for you. Positive thinking can do wonders because if your thinking positively it means your willing and open to moving on. Don't beat yourself up give yourself space and time. Don't keep talking to the ex, u need to have SPACE! HAVE YOUR OWN LIFE.
Lizzie60 Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 RE: Thank you, all, for the replies. Again: WHY is he doing this? WHY? All men are not the same. Care to elaborate, Alpha? Yes. I agree. Although, not 100% rebound. BUT: Why? and What should The New Woman do? Good post, StayClose. I don't know how much of an ex she is, at the moment. All I know is: She has since moved on, with another guy. He claims they are just friends, as she is only giving him a platonic relationship. YET: He is still pinning after her. I understand. What would you suggest The New Woman do? How could she get out of this? Should she tell him she no longer wants to be friends with him. Or just simply disappear -never to contact him again. Because he hasn't contacted The New Woman in over 2 1/2 weeks and counting! Sand&Water I would move on... I would not call...if he calls, fine... but I wouldn't see him until he's over the ex...unless of course you can be friend with him and even have sex with him and you won't fall in love ... then and only then I would go for it but if you feel 'fragile' don't.
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