Marielle Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Let s say like me, (thanks god) it s all finished, what sentence or message would you like him to come across, that shows wisdom, no hate, but to make them feel little.. FOr example -men come and go. the most important ppl are the ones who really care...(bad, I know, sounded too resentful and personal) I d like to resume in a sentence what I feel that will show me as a superior person, with wisdom and that shows I moved on. I know we are both on the same -friends-web site and he checks my profile. PLease do not try to gime the : YOU have to be over him...beleive me that s what I am doing (and it s going really well) I just want to have my last words. Help me
bish Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 How about: "you are a cheating bastard, and I was just as bad to help you betray your wife"?
Onelife Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 How about: "Life's a journey, not a destination and it's not the destination that makes the journey worthwhile.....and I keep on travelling and living my life"? Actually I really like that one myself. Need to write it down on my own journal. Best wishes to you.
Author Marielle Posted June 15, 2007 Author Posted June 15, 2007 How about: "you are a cheating bastard, and I was just as bad to help you betray your wife"? Thanks for your input, but that's exactly what I don t want to do, he knows what he is...I just do not want to insult him and to seem low, I want to go beyond that, making him feel tiny and guilty for who he is: I m not sending him anything, I would just be adding a few words in my profile, like a quote of the day, that I know he reads, wis some wisdom words not too personal, throuth it he WILL feel low, and a cheating bastartd, and he will get the msg. ANd I know he is already feeling lo because I dumped him Ripples? Wichwayisup? You are really good at that...with class!
Author Marielle Posted June 15, 2007 Author Posted June 15, 2007 How about: "Life's a journey, not a destination and it's not the destination that makes the journey worthwhile.....and I keep on travelling and living my life"? Actually I really like that one myself. Need to write it down on my own journal. Best wishes to you. That's what I meant, thanks one life..I just hope he's smart enough to understand the "msg", I mightr use it...wisdom against his style: in his status bar he put "mm" is thinking about where I am going to go out tonight" because he knows I will read it (like I care) I just want to beat him with an intelligent quote
Curmudgeon Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 ANd I know he is already feeling lo because I dumped him it's best to write nothing at all. Apparently you've already "said" it all!
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Yup, that's what I was gonna say...Except abit differently. Sometimes silence is the best answer. Silence says alot without saying anything! Either way it really shouldn't matter anymore what he thinks or feels. You gotta get to the point where he isn't even a thought in your head so you won't care at all PERIOD. Don't worry, you're more than half way there, just don't focus on him at all. He isn't even worthy of your thoughts.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Marielle, Men comunicate by their actions. If you wanted to tell a wolf your feelings or lets say someone who didn't understand one word of your language how would you do that??? You would do that by your actions. If you want to communicate an important message to a man, use your actions, they understand nothing else.
pureinheart Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Hey Marielle, To me the wisest words one can say, especially in these situations are no words at all, no words demonstrates self control. I have to comment on the term you used....superiorority....meaning "over another" in some fashion....the higher we go, the more of a servant we must become....there is a lot of peace that comes with this mentality...we don't have to have any last words because there really is no anger, resentment, hurt ect...just peace....
pureinheart Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Thanks for your input, but that's exactly what I don t want to do, he knows what he is...I just do not want to insult him and to seem low, I want to go beyond that, making him feel tiny and guilty for who he is: I m not sending him anything, I would just be adding a few words in my profile, like a quote of the day, that I know he reads, wis some wisdom words not too personal, throuth it he WILL feel low, and a cheating bastartd, and he will get the msg. ANd I know he is already feeling lo because I dumped him Ripples? Wichwayisup? You are really good at that...with class! Very true Marielle, regardless of the arrogant behavior and major denial, most people know who they really are...if it were me, I wouldn't direct anything his way unless subconciously you want him back....as the old saying goes, there's a thin line between love and hate. Good luck!
Ripples Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Marielle, Oscar Wilde has said some great things. Just to give a flavour: "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much" "I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones" "I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability" There's lots to have a laugh at and ponder on. But don't rush into letting him know you're still thinking about him
PoshPrincess Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Marielle, Oscar Wilde has said some great things. Just to give a flavour: "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much" "I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones" "I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability" There's lots to have a laugh at and ponder on. But don't rush into letting him know you're still thinking about him They're great, Ripples, but Oscar Wilde would be a bit too deep for my exMM. When I texted him last year and told him to "stop playing the martyr" he phoned me to ask what a "martyr" was. Just told him to look it up in the dictionary and he would probably find his name there. Silence speaks volumes. (If only I could put it into practice).
Ripples Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Posh, oh dear. I like "Few men are satisfied when they get what they deserve". I guess that'd be over his head too?
Author Marielle Posted June 15, 2007 Author Posted June 15, 2007 Silence?...that's so hard, but it's seems so powerful by your wrords. I just don t want him back, my revenge is making him look at his own self and see how he is. But it's true ppl , even the most arrogant KNOW inside. Thanks Ripples for Oscar Wilde's quotes, very well applied/ SO now I have the dilema, lol, to be or not to be. At least this is giving me some distraction. Will decide later, or maybe use teh part of a song, like Let it Be...
Author Marielle Posted June 15, 2007 Author Posted June 15, 2007 Yup, that's what I was gonna say...Except abit differently. Sometimes silence is the best answer. Silence says alot without saying anything! Either way it really shouldn't matter anymore what he thinks or feels. You gotta get to the point where he isn't even a thought in your head so you won't care at all PERIOD. Don't worry, you're more than half way there, just don't focus on him at all. He isn't even worthy of your thoughts. Thanks W, I always read your posts, you share Wisdom, and it's true silence is very powerful, it is on me, if someone completely ignores me , and tehn i start with the instrospection (sp), it seems to work, and yes I do feel more then half way there in feeling better.
Lizzie60 Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Let s say like me, (thanks god) it s all finished, what sentence or message would you like him to come across, that shows wisdom, no hate, but to make them feel little.. FOr example -men come and go. the most important ppl are the ones who really care...(bad, I know, sounded too resentful and personal) I d like to resume in a sentence what I feel that will show me as a superior person, with wisdom and that shows I moved on. I know we are both on the same -friends-web site and he checks my profile. PLease do not try to gime the : YOU have to be over him...beleive me that s what I am doing (and it s going really well) I just want to have my last words. Help me I d like to resume in a sentence what I feel that will show me as a superior person, with wisdom and that shows I moved on. If I was him ... I would think that you are NOT superior and that you have NOT moved on... In fact, you will only 'boost' his ego... he will see you as 'dependant' not a strong person, that's what I would think if someone sent me a message like that anyway. Your best move is to forget about him and move on... no messages.
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Yup, Lizzie is right. That's why the silence is better because it shows him, you couldn't care less about him, AND it will stop and make HIM think, wonder why you aren't reacting to HIS words. See how it works? Don't give him the ego feed that he gets under your skin abit!
bish Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Thanks for your input, but that's exactly what I don t want to do, he knows what he is...I just do not want to insult him and to seem low, I want to go beyond that, making him feel tiny and guilty for who he is: Point was, you were just as bad. It doesn't sound like you were with him and didn't know he was married. There are alot of OW who never knew the man was married and left the R when they found out. But you knew. So you trying to make him feel tiny and guilty(which he deserves in spades because he is a cheating bastard) is hypocritical since you weren't any better. So I'd say leave it alone and move on.
Author Marielle Posted June 15, 2007 Author Posted June 15, 2007 Lizzie60 you re so right... That s what I m going to do, write those things I think to myself, as a vent (or even on LS:p) It s going to make me feel better. By the way I am feeling better than last week, my job is very rewarding (I am a dance fitness instructor) so the love for my job makes me forget about everything... I feel like every day it is getting better, and your support from u all helps a lot.
2sunny Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 how about life just gets better every day! it's not necessarily a slap to him - it's just a general statement about life... but he would get the message.
PoshPrincess Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 But you knew. So you trying to make him feel tiny and guilty(which he deserves in spades because he is a cheating bastard) is hypocritical since you weren't any better. Sorry but I don't totally agree with this statement (which has been argued many times before of course!) Yes, having a R with another woman's H is totally wrong but I still don't think it makes us OW AS BAD as the MM. They were the ones who made their vows. They are the ones who are cheating. I take responsibility for what I did but I don't agree that I am as guilty as MM. And, yes, I also knew he was married when I started seeing him. Not something I am proud of, but it happened.
bish Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 But you knew. So you trying to make him feel tiny and guilty(which he deserves in spades because he is a cheating bastard) is hypocritical since you weren't any better. Sorry but I don't totally agree with this statement (which has been argued many times before of course!) Yes, having a R with another woman's H is totally wrong but I still don't think it makes us OW AS BAD as the MM. They were the ones who made their vows. They are the ones who are cheating. And thats why I said he would deserve it since he is a cheating bastard. But she is in no position to make him feel try to feel tiny and guilty, because she was the accomplice. The cheating married man does need to feel guilty and does deserve to be criticized. Its just not the OW's place to do so since she knew and wanted a relationship with him anyway. She should just move on and not waste any further time with him.
Onelife Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 By the way I am feeling better than last week, my job is very rewarding (I am a dance fitness instructor) so the love for my job makes me forget about everything... I feel like every day it is getting better, and your support from u all helps a lot. Marielle, I am happy to hear that everyday is getting better for you. It is the same for me too. One step at a time, right? It's so nice that we have LS to come to. Your job sounds like fun!
torranceshipman Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Of course its the OW's 'place' to do so! If she's been fed lie after lie and thinks the MM is a lying b*stard who should be made accountable, by all means do it, her opinion is as valid as anyone's. I get your point though, about some OW's willingly going for it with a MM, but there are a lot who don't know, get horribly manipulated into it, etc...and also its never too late to turn around and do the right thing, end the A, and to make the MM stand up and face the music, if thats the best situation all round (which it is IMO, it's honest, stops the lies and gives a big fat reality check to everyone). As for the 1 liner...I'd just post something vague, that you regularly update, that suggests you're having a cool time, and are really active and moving on happily (but not over the top, or a secret dig at him, as then he'll think this is for his benefit and his crazy ego will like it). Something like 'looking forward to the concert' or 'cocktails at the bar, roll on this evening', or etc etc-stuff like that....remember Cher in Clueless who used to send herself flowers and chocs to make herself look popular, lol, hehe...a very toned down version of that (-:
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