johan Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 To throw open the doors and invest immediately can be an intoxicating thought. But is this solely the battering ram comprised of endorphins speaking? Probably or maybe not. The bottom line is, be cautious with your selection. I think this is smart. In college I knew a very happy couple that had sex before their first date. They were both attractive, clean cut, normal people who you would think would wait months. I don't know how they managed that, because it takes a lot of nerve to make those kinds of advances within such a short time of meeting someone. But they did it. Then they went out to dinner. Sometimes it boils down to chemistry and gut instincts about someone. And sometimes you get lucky and move too fast with someone you actually find out you're compatible with later on. I think it's not that hard to know when you're with someone you'll never get tired of. It's a matter of confidence and intellect and personal standards. Also it's how they listen and how they treat people. A sense of humor is essential to me. Also it's about where they are in life and maybe a bit about age. There are things a non-narcissistic, non-self-centered person* will show about themselves in a very short time that make it clear. It's not hard to tell. There are some who you know you should keep. Touche's husband knew. I knew about my ex. I just know. I'm impulsive that way though. It's how I acquire anything. I see it, and I know on the spot. Then I get it and I keep it for a long time. I think my stuff is lucky to be owned by me. I think my exes were lucky to be loved by me. * - the inclusion of this phrase is what made my post on-topic.
lonelybird Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Brilliant! Storyride Ego isn't identity. The vulnerability you described (the core center) seems weak, but really strong. Maybe that's a ideal person that people want to be
monkey00 Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 I think most people need to build a good amount of tolerance before they can learn to 'let themselves go' and just enjoy life for the sake of it. And with that said I dont think a person can truly grow unless they take risks [even if it means being vulnerable at certain times], the more risks they take, the more experience they take in - and the more the holes of their identity begin to fill in. To expand on vulnerability having compassion, understanding, and patience is even more important in relationships. But to possess those traits is truly a gift, as most people are too concerned with their own needs instead of taking time listening to others.
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