wingyting Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 hello, im in high school and have never been in a relationship with a girl or really had any close close relationship with a girl. but in one of my classes, theres is this girl i really like. but the problem is, i havent really talked to her that much, although i have known her for 4 years, we never really had a converstation, just the occassional couple of words. but i want to get to know her and ask her out. the thing it, i just dont no how to approach her. like i dont no if i will be able to just go up to her and talk cuz i dont have anything to say, plus we've never really talked much and it would seem wierd to her if i just went up and started talking like we've been talking for our whole lives. does anyone know what i can do to actually start talking to her and become her friend and ultimately end up with me asking her out? if someone could help, that would be great, cuz i really like this girl, looks and personality (from what i see) she seems really nice and sweet and i wanna get to know her. so help would be appreciated. thanks!!
ruby_gloom Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 just forget it. save the relationship thing for when you're older and are (hopefully) better capable of dealing with all of the hurdles a relationship has to overcome. high school sweethearts? oh my. after she gets under you skin, she will rip your heart out, chew it up, spit it back out, and step on it on the way out. no joke. high school sweethearts = . but if you chose to ignore that, which you will, come on, dude. it's high school! the weekend's coming--isn't there some kind of party (yes, there is) at someone's house? find it because there is one and then once you know the details about it, go over to her and ask her. just say something whatever like, 'hey, did you hear about x' party? it's gonna be great!!! why don't you come?' and insist until she says yes because she will most likely want to go. don't take high school too seriously and save the fear of approaching people for other more "serious" arenas. most kids in high school just want to have fun, so an invitation to a party or any such event is usually good for getting to know people. but since you already 'know' her, then you should just be straightforward with it. perhaps you might want to chat her up for the rest of this week with whatever conversation. you know, in the halls, during lunch, after school. just quick 'hey, what's up?' type of stuff, ya know? that way you can ask her out to 'hang out and watch a movie' or some thing for next week and she won't be all WTF?! but seriously, dude, don't sweat it so much or you'll get yourself all worked up over nothing. keep in mind that hs is a place for meeting people and forming new friendships--it's not about learning, you'll see--so, just shake off all those jitters and, in the words of high schoolers, just go for it, man.
Author wingyting Posted June 14, 2007 Author Posted June 14, 2007 i no i should just go and start talking and say hey and stuff, but im really shy, and she is too, kind of, and i dont wanna sound stupid or nething, but i have some problems just going and saying hi to someone, who i may not have seen for a while or dont talk to that often. i no i gotta get over that fear. but this is the last week of school, and ill probably only see her on friday and monday, at our exam, and at our grad ceremony. so thats only like 4 more times, so i dont really have a lot of time to work with and i no i gotta act fast cuz next year, its off to university for everyone, and i might not see her again. i could always get her email or facebook though. do u no any way that i could muster up the courage to talk to her and get over my shyness? sometimes at the corner of my eye, i see her looking at me, but i dont no if she likes me, maybe if i knew, that would make it a little easier to talk to her
Touche Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 Maybe as you're both leaving class you could just make up a question about some assignment or something. Or maybe ask her if she wants to study with you for an upcoming test? Just be really casual. You might be nervous but she won't know that you are, so just act casual. There's nothing to be nervous about. As a girl, I can tell you I was always really, really nervous when I guy talked to me. So, she'll probably be just as nervous if not more than you are at first. So do it, ok? And good luck. Tell us how it turns out.
ruby_gloom Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 hey, dude. aww. you know what? i have a soft spot for high school sweethearts, even though . . . anyways, you know, when i was in high school i was really, really shy, too. i wouldn't talk to anyone unless they started talking to me first. but see, the thing is that often, a lot of people don't talk to shy people (especially if they are shy themselves!) or because they think they won't respond or mistake shyness for vanity. the thing is that you just have to put yourself out there. in this case, for both yourself and for her. considering that you guys are graduating this year and that school is virtually over, i'd suggest that you do something asap. now, you're going to have to make a choice and decide whether your shyness and fear (which are powerful, i know) are going to persevere over your want to get to know this girl. yes, with myspace () and facebook and email and all of that, you can still keep in contact, but it's not the same. you said that you're having a final, is that right? well, that's perfect. if you don't want to be too direct by just flat out telling her that you like her and that you don't want to scare her, but that she needs to know that you do (like her) and want to get to know her before you lose that opportunity (i'd love it if someone said that to me ), then why not ask her to study with you? tell her that since it's the final, you want to study to make sure you get a good grade and that you wanted to study with someone else, and that you 'immediately' thought of her or something. if you're going to use a more indirect approach, which is fine, it's important that you sneak in flattery/a sweet comment here and there, so long as you mean them, which i'm sure you will. the best way, imo, to get over the shyness is to present yourself with the two possible outcomes: 1) you don't say anything to her because you're too shy and you guys drift apart. from here, somehow you might 'reunite' or something, but that's a 50/50 chance--and even if you do, it might be too late, you know? or 2) you suck it up, put on your best socks, and go for it. here, two things can happen, too: either she'll think you're psycho and run for the hills or she'll say yes and you guys will have the opportunity to hit it off. if you learn anything from high school, dude, learn that a lot of things in life come to only once. you will never get that same opportunity ever again, and even if it doesn't work out either immediately (she says no) or in the long run (she says yes and you break up), it will always be a valuable experience, in some way. as cliche as it is, one of the worst feelings you can ever have if that doubt of 'what could have been, if only i ...' it's true. believe me. i am your elder and i know. seriously, kiddo, chances are she won't say no to you. young love/relationships can be so crazy, but they can also be so wonderful. and let me tell you that you shouldn't deny yourself the possibility of the experience because of feelings that only help limit your happiness. so, just tell her. ask her out to a movie. dude, you guys are in high school! tell her you're feeling shrek 3 and need a princess to accompany you. or take her bowling. whatever, dude. just be casual. as touche said, maybe on the way to class you can pretend to be talking to someone else and then go over to her and say something like, "hey ___, i was thinking about going to the movies this friday to watch ___ (just not 'knocked up.' okay, just no.) and since we're graduating and everything, i wanted to know if you'd like to come with me. it would be really cool." just be charming. you can be charming. everyone can be charming. hell, even i can be charming and i am so not charming. charm your way into looove. ahem. but yea, just something friendly like that. and with a smile of course. or do the same thing, except ask her if she wants to study, if you're not feeling bold enough. but dude, yea, come on. tomorrow is friday. get moving.
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