bluebomber Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 My finance and I have facebook pages. We have been engaged for 3 months now. It seems that she is still way to involved in the life of her ex,they broke up in 2005. At least every other day she is on his profile. What really gets me upset is when I look back through her comments to her friends and see the ones where she is telling hem about her weekends with her ex. This just really upsets me to read about these things, Or am i just over reacting??
Art_Critic Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 I don't think you are over reacting... but it really is all about how much you are willing to accept. She might very well still be friends with him but if she is with you and she knows how you feel then I think she needs to cut him entirely out of her life.. This is the beginning of how you will communicate as a couple.. talk with her and let her know that you feel her communication in not an acceptable behavior and ask her why she feels the need to continue the contact. If you both hammer this out as a couple it will bring you closer.. but if she still has feelings for her ex it will break you apart..
Author bluebomber Posted June 14, 2007 Author Posted June 14, 2007 As Far as I know they have only talked a few times since we have been dating but a month before we started dating she spend an entire weekend with him. Apparently after they broke up she pretty much stalked him. I wish she would cut him out of her life, she still had pictures of him and her hanging up when we started dating and she still has them but not up. I think if she wants to cut him out of her life she needs to get rid of every thing from him.
Art_Critic Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 You need to know from her why she is keeping the contact and the pictures.. Ask her... It seems to me that she isn't over her ex and if that is the case then you have no choice but to kick her to the curb. But she may be keeping the contact for an insecurity and if you both talk about it you may be able to show her that you care for her and get her to stop contacting him.. talk with her.. Tell her your feelings about the contact and ask her why she is contacting him and then go from there.
Sand&Water Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 RE: An ex-boyfriend can be a pain in the neck -if not a disaster waiting to happen. From the looks of it, Bluebomber, her behavior suggests she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend. The fact that she is proclaiming the time she spends with him speaks volumes. Be careful. My advice: Remain calm. Yes. This is very important. Don't call her out on any incidents she's had with her ex-boyfriend, just yet. Simply continue to take note of the events and the way she interacts with him. At some point, however, you will have to confront her about it. Because not discussing such an issue with her, gives her the idea that you are OK with it. You have to draw the line. Somewhere. Anywhere. Pronto. But not before you are absolutely confident in yourself and what you will have to say to her. Keep it real. Set your boundaries. And make sure it makes sense. Sand&Water
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 Ask her how she would feel if you were in contact with one of your ex's like she is with hers. I'm betting it WOULD upset her and make her feel abit jealous. There's no real reason for her to be in such daily contact with an ex.
Author bluebomber Posted June 14, 2007 Author Posted June 14, 2007 One thing that is making this harder is that her ex was her first love. They always say you never forget your first. Well i think she is not forgetting or letting go a lot.
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