MoonPixie Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 This is the story. I have been seeing someone for three months. He is just out of a long [5 year] relationship. From the start we decided to go slow. I understand him, i went through this before so I am perfectly fine with slow. Then he said he needed more space and then he said he wanted to date other people, which bothered me alot.... he said that he saw me on a dating site and that he assumed i was seeing other people, which I was not.... we had a long discussing and from there its been going good... but anytime I show any time of emotion, he says im scaring him... even though he shows emotion... so I told him that he shows it, so he stopped.... recently we went on vacation, I asked him if he is ok with it.. that its a big step.. he said he is ok with it... it went well, but I felt like he was distant... perhaps my imagination, he was attentive and we had a great time.. but he is usually more affectionate... I decided not to pay attention and just go with the flow... but from time to time it bothers me, I dont want to get hurt... or used... I dont know what to do... I am told to relax and go with the flow.. I have been hurt before and cheated on, so its really hard on me.... I am giving my best... but I still feel used... is it my imagination?
norajane Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 Either he's still hung up on his ex, or he's a kid in a candy store wanting to taste everything. If you want a relationship with someone who can give as much as you give to him, this guy doesn't sound like he's that guy.
Author MoonPixie Posted June 14, 2007 Author Posted June 14, 2007 Well, I cant say that I was paranoid... because I had enough of that so I asked him, because he seemed cold lately... so he said he doesnt want commitment or an emotional relationship... so thats why he was cold... I got mad, what am I then I asked... seeing each other involves some kind of an emotion, no? please tell me if I am wrong... so I said, so I am your f* buddy, when it comes down to it... that is what I am.. he said no, and that he hated that term all term all together... i asked what am i then? he doesnt want to show any emotion towards me, he said the vacation was too much... I didnt pressure him into it, he is the one that talked me into the vacation in the first place... he said I show too much emotion towards him, we have been together for three months and I shouldnt.. I didnt show a thing, said I missed you once ? I gave him space, I think at this point he is just making excuses to get rid of me... I am devastated....
daphne Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 Sweetie, This guy doesn't want a girlfriend. As hard as it is for women to understand this concept, it's out there. That basically means you are the fwb. Women don't generally go out with and sleep with guys and have some sort of "relationship" when they dont' want a boyfriend. But guys still need women for something. He wants warmth, sex and friendship, but no commitment or emotional investment. You need to do yourself a favor and CUT HIM LOOSE. I don't know how long he's been out of his relationship, but he's not going to change and this is really a rebound for him.
Author MoonPixie Posted June 14, 2007 Author Posted June 14, 2007 Yeah I agree with you 100%. When we started seeing each other, I spoke to him about it and he said he wanted to start it out slow. And now he changes the concept, to he doesnt want anything at all. But once again, I agree with you. And I am cutting him loose, well did already. I told him, that seeing me with no emotions what so ever, if a f* buddy thing, like you said... he got mad and disagreed, and said he wants to get to know me... but he doesnt want to talk much to me.. and just spend some time with me during the week... so one cannot get to know a person this way... as sad as I am, I am not going to talk to him anymore, I think it is best for me. I got hurt before, cheated on and left for another girl... I told him that he is not the only one that was hurt... and at the moment he is hurting me. I think I am stronger and better than that...
daphne Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 When a guy wants something with you, he will let you know. You won't have to second guess what he's saying. This guy doesn't know what he wants, so he can't offer you much. He's telling you he wants to see other people. You are stronger and better than that. Just keep moving and you'll find a guy that will want you for you. He'll want to get to know you.
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