funkybassplayer Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Im not sure if i should or should not email this to my ex? Any thoughts on how it would look? Im for the first time in a break-up on the rollercoaster of ups and downs, and at 41, feel bad in myself for feeling like this. I am as you all can guess still upset and sad about the whole break-up just 8 weeks ago, but im trying hard to put it behine me and move on. I dont want to look weak, but i do (for some reason) want her to know my thoughts. Is it worth it? I don.t know even if she gives a hoot! i dont know if i send it, will i get more upset or feel better. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Bear in mind anything i do is for me to try to heal myself. thanks guys. Hi Tam, Hope that your well. I have posted back all that I have of yours that I know of, so I guess it puts closure on our relationship. (but you still have my tent!!). I very much want to be friends with you, but of course I understand that you are with someone new, and its difficult for you, but I will always be there should you need me. Accepting that its over was hard for me, the speed of which you moved on, and the fact that I can’t have contact with you or the kids almost from the day of the break-up has left me in a kind of state of shock and with inner sadness for my loss, but I’m slowly moving forward best I can. I was in it for the long term, and I loved you all so very much, and would have given my life for any of you, I think that you know that. It’s hard to think that I may never hug you or Ella again, or see you but I guess no one can predict what’s going to happen next in life, and nothing surprises me!. I have decided (at last) to put my house on the market, buy that sports car drive around the uk for a couple of weeks, and bank the rest until I have good investment for the money. I like it here, but don’t feel that my life is going to be in Essex, and need a change. I won’t say goodbye, as I hope to hear from you in the future, but for now, take care, Lots of love Rich. xx or say nothing? Full story is thread goodbye my lady. Will give you an insite into her personality
Art_Critic Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Reverse the names and read it as if you had just received it from her.. How would you receive it ? I think you need to not send it.. it is good that you wrote it but sending it will not get the desired result you are looking for.. and yes it reads of weakness. I understand you are hurt.. I have been in the same place you are now and I sent the letters .. Today looking back I wished I hadn't as she never replied and it made me feel even worse and then I sent more letters and she never replied.. Even today I have never heard from her.. In the end it was all for the best because I met a wonderful person that trips my trigger and is good to me.
Art_Critic Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 forget the tent also.. you are 41.. time to go out and buy a new tent.. No need to hold onto that as a method to keep contacting her..
Lishy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Hi Rich! I wouldnt send it if I were you! If I recieved that email from an ex it would just make me think you are weak and to be honest the best thing you can do is not contact her at all! You need to get on with your life as she has decided she does not want you in her life and she has moved on post haste. You need to move on too honey! Just post away on here and I also advise you to leave out names when you post as it is confidential and incognito on here. Someone she knows could post on here and tell her! You will move on from this pain honey, but not telling her what you are doing will have far more of an affect on her then sending that needy, soppy email! We all all here to help support you through this honey! I think you should do whatever you want to do to make you feel better but I dont think sending that mail will help you. Whatever you decide to do we are here to help ok? x
Author funkybassplayer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 yes i know thanks, im not fussed about the tent, and i guess i sent all her stuff back, so that does send some sort of a message. She know s she can call if she wants too i told her. p.S THANKS LISHY XX
Lishy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Your welcome Funky and I hope you start to heal soon and find someone who deserves you! I am sure you will xx
Author funkybassplayer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 tell you what your pics are helping!! wow. I think this time round has been hard as she had kids, and one in particular (in my head) Visits me every morning, as she did when i was in the family. Its like a ghost, i wake up feeling empty and sad, i know the morning routine, and im here on me tod (own) and cant wait for it to go away. She herself was hard work, but i did fancy her loads, but in the relationship, i was'nt overly happy cos of her issues. i very nearly sold up, to move there and invest in them, but never (she would'nt divorce her hubby! )
Lishy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Well I think the best thing you could do right now is concentrate on the fact that it was not the best relationship you could hope for and concentrate on her bad points! It is hard when kids are involved as you probably miss the 'family unit' and all that was involved. You will get over this babe it just takes time! She didn't deserve you anyway!!!!!!!!! Just remember that! Keep busy and keep remembering how she wasnt the one for you!
Author funkybassplayer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 come on need to hear it why do you think she never deserved me? \One thing i like though is that im a pro bass player, which she loved, and her new guy works in a food factory (which she tried to glam up when she was telling me about it!!!)
Lishy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Ok I just read your other post about her and she sounds like a fekkin nightmare! Why do you pine for her? Cmon Rich get real she is so screwed up and if her own family bad mouth her and she acts like that with her own kids you are best rid! You can, and will meet someone who you deserve. She does not deserve a caring soul like you - Let her get on with her factory man and lets hope he can make her happy as she cant make herself happy. You are a caring thoughtful man and one day she will crawl back to you with her tail between her legs - I just hope that when that day comes you say "Thanks, but no thanks"!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author funkybassplayer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 its funny, everybody has said she will come back! i dont know. I dont think that i would go back, and her constant illness and stress became a real turn off for me (does that make sense?) i felt like a nurse, a concellor a baby sitter and a taxi driver all at the same time. but i liked and stood firm in the challange. I had her hubby calling me and treatning me, i had her tell me that aftter 4 years i should be over my dads death! because i was (for a rare occation upset on the aniversary) Maybe its the life i led that was so intense, i miss, i can handle loads of stress from other people, and maybe now my life has returned to a normal state, it seems boring,and i have way too much time on my hands, maybe she surpressed the guy i am by her problems, i was tired in the end after going up n down to her part of the world. It will take time i guess. I may well as i say in the email sell up, i want to wait n see. i dont know.
Lishy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 where do u live? i mean what area - i am in the UK too
Author funkybassplayer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 cool im in essex, how about you? my website is www.bsharpduo.co.uk
Author funkybassplayer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 well u have my moby if u want to say hi! are u over your ex?
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