boyfriend's complacency, laziness bringing me down

June 13, 2007

I have talked to a few girlfriends who have been with their boyfriends a while and they seem to be experiencing the same thing I am: their boyfriends seldom want to do anything but sit at home and veg. My boyfriend seemed much more socially active and up for anything before meeting me, but now it's a struggle to get him to do anything or go anywhere. When we do go somewhere, he often ends up sitting like a bump on a log and wanting to go home before too long, even at parties, as he doesn't care for alcohol.

I hate that it has to be on me to organize stuff for us to do, especially as I have never been much of a planner, and it hurts my feelings and makes me feel like he doesn't enjoy my company or can't be bothered. I really am not into forcing people to do things they are not interested in doing; it diminishes my own enjoyment. His general lack of enthusiasm for anything but eating, watching TV, and having sex is really starting to wear on me. He's also gained a fair bit of weight in recent years and I think this is contributing to his slothfulness. He mostly says there is no point to going anywhere since he isn't on the hunt for girls anymore since he has me. I understand what he's saying up to a point, but I hate the time we spend together lately, and I know if the onus of organizing things to do and forcing him to participate is on me, it's not going to be long before I grow resentful.

I see a similar pattern in many other couples, and it seems to get worse as they get older. I wonder if this is the norm and something I just have to learn to accept, that men all turn into boring sacks of s*** once they have you on the hook. I really loathe my job at the moment and feel very stuck, so I look to our time together to be the antidote and it ends up sucking MOST of the time. I'm really sick of it, but my defeatist side says the same thing would happen with any guy, as I have experienced similar before, but never quite to this degree.

It's odd because I know he loves me and he always wants me around, so I can't exactly say I feel taken for granted. He is always affectionate and relatively attentive when it comes to talking and listening. I just...don't enjoy the time we spend together anymore because we never DO anything. He also smokes pot, so I'm sure that doesn't help, but I tend to doubt he would be any different if he didn't and I'm not going to force him to give it up, as I would be angry if he told me to stop doing something I liked doing. I just feel like he's content to sit there and watch life pass him by, and that doesn't make me happy.

He does have a well-paying and pretty demanding job now (he didn't before), and he got it mostly because he wanted me to stick around. Now he says he's just tired and burnt out on weekends hence doesn't want to do anything but relax and isn't the fact that he turned his life around enough? When he puts it that way I do feel sort of ungrateful, yet I can't help how I feel, that our quality time together is of a very low quality indeed.

P.S. We are at the five-year mark and I am 31, so the idea of starting over is not very appealing, and I'm such a strange and difficult person I know it would be hard to find anyone who can tolerate me the way he does. Another sucky part is that I have few friends and am not close to my family, so I definitely depend on him too much when it comes to my emotional happiness. I realize these things, so I wonder if perhaps I expect too much from him and this is just normal guy behavior?

June 13, 2007

I read your story and I see this happen sometimes with friends.

5 years, that is a long investment in a relationship. Also, you are probably evaluating what you want for your future and questioning whether or not he is the one you really want to hang you hat on so to speak.

I agree that he is contributing, but minimally. Also, just the length of time you two have been together has probably caused you two to become very comfortable with the routine.

That being said, can you work it out? At his base is he a good man? Do you love him? Why did you fall for him?

If you sat him down and had a very open conversation about things wouldn't that help? Don't make him feel like he is doing stuff wrong, but explain some of your desires and let him tell you some of his. It should be a non threatning conversation that you both can learn from. Is it worth it to you?

I can understand that he might be tired after working, especially if the hours are new and he is adjusting. Do you praise him for the good things he does?

Sometimes when a relationship hits a glitch I would (hope) it is an opportunity to re establish the connection and spark a new level of love and intimacy. (said the single girl)

Good luck,

Unders

June 13, 2007

What kinds of things are you suggesting to do socially that he's turning down? You haven't specifically mentioned what you suggest you two do...are you sure you're not just saying something vague (as girls have a tendency to do) like whining, "Why don't we doooo something?" with a pouty face?

Are we talking about just hitting bars and parties here, or something with a little more depth? 'Cuz honestly, if all I was ever doing with my SO was going out for a drink, things would get stale too...particularly if I didn't drink to begin with (like your SO).

Have you suggesting taking a mini-vacation/weekend getaway/road trip? Wine tasting (although he doesn't drink...bad idea)? Theater? Going to the gym together? Outdoorsy stuff (snowboarding, tennis, camping, 5ks for charity, kayaking, white water rafting, hiking, surfing, etc.)? An art museum/gallery? A charity fundraiser (e.g., HFH)? A convention on the topic of something he loves? A carnival (tis the season!)? A brewfest? Anything?

Perhaps he just needs a little inspiration...

June 13, 2007

Stargazer, I think one part of it is we don't really like many/any of the same things. But you are right, some of it is me pouting and being vague about what I'd like to do because I fear him rejecting my ideas, but some of it is genuine disinterest on his part, or he says we will do stuff but it never happens. A lot of ideas get bandied about but never acted upon, and a couple of trips we did take (San Francisco and Santa Barbara), he ended up conking out pretty early and I couldn't help but feel disappointed. He used to be the snowboarder, skater, surfer type, and none of these are things I can do at all. And I think on some level he fears not being good at them anymore now that he is heavier and officially an "old man." (He explicitly said this of skateboarding when I tried to organize an outing with a mixed group of various ability levels.) Even more normal things I am not very good at and fear I will not be a fun companion for him as I am not able to compete at his level and I can see it is boring for him. To use stupid examples, he quickly tires of playing Guitar Hero with me because I can't play at his level, and I also suck really hard at foozball. And most sports, I guess. I am going to give tennis a try but I fear similar results. I just hope he will be patient enough until I improve. I also think maybe he's slightly depressed? Because he says he doesn't really like anything anymore and isn't into anything anymore, which doesn't exactly fill me with hope. I think he needs to start playing the drums again, as he used to and now doesn't, but that will require a new drum kit to the tune of 2 to 3k and renting a rehearsal space. I don't really get to be part of that, but I am hoping that if he feels inspired by playing music, it might spill over into his time with me? I have been prodding him to do so but progress may be slow going.

June 13, 2007

Underpants, he is a good guy and I do love him. I fell for him mostly because he was obsessed with me (narcissistic, I know) and the sex was great, but now he isn't and things are dull. I guess this is to be expected, but I thought life was supposed to get dull much later, like I feel we are still relatively young and should be enjoying life, especially while we don't have children and that sort of thing. So the fact that we are not is a huge bummer to me. I realize I whine and bitch a lot and sometimes lash out at him when I feel depressed about stuff. It is very hard for me to keep a civil tongue always when airing my grievances, which is why I wanted to bitch and moan on here first rather than just blurt out whatever to him. He already knows how I feel about it; he simply says if I plan stuff, he'll do it, but I tend to doubt that's true (he usually begs off anytime he can for any reason at all unless we have tickets or bookings that cannot be canceled), and if he goes it will be begrudgingly, which ruins it for me. The irony is that we have overcome so many problems far worse than this (infidelity, violence, drug abuse) and are still standing. Seems funny that this would be the straw to break the camel's back, but perhaps all that we had in common was that we loved drama. Or maybe it's just me who loves drama. I know I need to praise him more; I was raised in a very unsupportive environment so it does not come easily to me, but I make a point of telling him how proud I am of his work accomplishments. He really doesn't do anything else that I can praise him for! Heh. Seriously, he doesn't do ANYTHING at all. I guess I need to be more proactive and pushy, even though it is not in my nature. He definitely needs some inspiration, as Stargazer noted. I am going to give it a few more weeks but I do feel sort of at the end of my rope and like I might just be wasting my time, trying to push a boulder uphill, quite honestly. Though I know I am a brat who likes being catered to and has always been, historically. I guess that is why the whole making him do stuff is a hard pill for me to swallow.

June 13, 2007

How old is he?

That is one reason I avoid older men as they all do turn into lazy sacks of s***.

Talking does nothing. They just tune it out as they think you are nagging. I suggest spending a lot less time watching him clip his toenails and get a group of friends together and start spending time with them. He'll notice you're gone and may step up.

June 13, 2007

He just turned 30, which seems to me a bit too soon to be a boring sack of s***. I think you are right, I need to pulll away more, as I pretty much drive down to see him every weekend (we live about 50 miles apart) and we end up just sitting around. When I do stuff without him he does tend to get slightly miffed. Maybe it will be enough to make him want to make more of an effort. I guess that's what it is, I feel like he doesn't really do anything but go to work and go home, and he works regular hours (8 to 5), though his job is a lot harder than mine. But I still feel like things are a bit lopsided and that he has let himself go, physically with the weight gain and mentally by not wanting to do anything much for me anymore. I guess I am feeling my age and starting to wonder where this is going, if anywhere, and whether I should be trying to find someone else before I'm too old to do so.

June 13, 2007

a boring sack of s***.

This is not a nice way to speak of your BF...

June 13, 2007

I know. I wasn't saying it TO him, though I might have before? He's said some far worse things to me, but to his credit, he doesn't really do that anymore. I know I need to work on being kinder and gentler, I just have so much latent anger, hostility, and bitterness that I can't contain it always. Any suggestions? Most of my feigned sweetness gets used up on coworkers and female friends (many of them I have to coddle constantly regardless of what I really think), and sometimes I just don't have any left. I often think I must be a bad person for being this way, but that is how I am. I am actually kind and giving when it comes to doing things for people but I tend to have an acid tongue. I know it's a copout but that is the sort of upbringing I had, constant criticism and negativity. I am trying to be more aware of it and stop it but it's so deeply ingrained. I know if I were happier with myself and my life it would be easier to be a nice person, but how do I get there?

June 13, 2007

Wildberry, he actually does still want sex and fairly often, but I do not find him attractive since he gained about 40 pounds. That and it is very, what, perfunctory a lot of the time. But I'm not really bothered about that as sex always tends to lose its spice. I just wish there were other things to do together to make life seem less humdrum. He hurt his back over the weekend though, so I can't really expect him to do much until he's better. Fortunately he seems to be recovering at a decent pace. I don't think he's a loser per se, though he does have loserish traits and probably would be a full-fledged loser if I weren't around to whine about it. But he does have a lot of good traits as well, good core values, surprisingly. He's actually a far better person than I am, which I guess is why I stick around. That and he loves me warts and all. However, I can't say that I'm really happy with our situation, but I wonder if maybe it is in my nature to be unhappy all the time with everything and everyone? Quite possibly.

June 14, 2007

You don't think your BF and mine could be related?;)Mines the same hun and ive only been with him for 8 months or so now.He works but so do I and all mine wants to do when he gets home is sit on the couch and eat which is something I don't like to do.I am an active person(you sound the same) I like to get out and about even if it is simply packing up a picnic and going out someplace nice for the day.It does not have to cost money.

I do like to be wined and dined and not feel like I am a boring old woman...I am far from that but a woman likes to feel like she is special so I know where you are coming from.My partner will say on a Friday "how about we go out to dinner tonight" I am all excited and all,he gets in from work and shows no enthusiasm about going out.

When I met mine we use to go to the night clubs out dancing...it's been so long since I have done that and he says it's the money situation...hell,he always has over a grand stuck in the bank so the money is not an issue...I just feel that guys once they get us they feel they don't have to work on things.

I honestly can see why many women choose younger men...because they are more exciting!they like to have some fun and make you feel young.I know it's not me and you know it's not you here but what is it we have to do to make them see that we need to feel special??Like I said,I have only been with mine 8 months so I am imagining what things are going to be like in our future...I tell him I would like to go out and he says if thats what I want then I can but without him,I just dont want to go out without him.

If you can find a solution please pass it on to me so I can make my guy wake up too and see I am not some old woman that sits at home knitting all day!...Good luck with it

June 14, 2007

A man needs to stay in and veg out sometimes. There is no better feeling in the world than that. I don't think women understand how rejuvenating this is to a man. Just order some take out, put on some music and chill. If you let him have some time to do this he will want to go out and wine and dine you again.

June 14, 2007

Yeah, I can sense the hostility brewing toward your boyfriend.

As I look back on this, this isn't just men, but women too.

OK look. When men are single, it is imperative that we go out and do things all the time. This is because, as dim as we are usually, we realize that you don't "get any" by sitting at home and vegging out.

As relationships develop, some tend to place less importance on going out because we now can "get some" by sitting at home. Therefore, less need to go out all the time. The thing is your man was always predisposed to "vegging". He just covered it for a while.

As with most things in relationships, excuses are just that. When we say we don't want to go out because we're tired, that simply means we just don't feel like it. If we say we don't want to have sex cuz we're tired, it simply means we don't wanna.

What you are experiencing is his true personality, the show he put on in the beginning is over. You are dating a man with low motivation. It doesn't mean he's a sack of $hit, it just means he has low motivation... and will likely continue to have low motivation.

In some extreme cases, this lack of motivation can be due to some form of mental illness, but that's not very common. There are plently of men that are happy to go out even 20 years into the relationship, it just appears you don't have one.

As far as not having similar interests, that doesn't help. You may not want to, but you could start by choosing one or two of his biggest interests and engaging in them with him. You just need to think positive about the activity and withold judgment. If you are sure you'll hate it, I can guarantee you you will. If he's a good person, he will acknowledge your efforts by reciprocating the gesture. You could only hope.

June 14, 2007

I just wanted to also suggest, that since you don't have many similar interests, maybe you could cultivate one? Taking a class together is always fun...there are so many choices - cooking, photography, art. Or you could try something outdoor oriented, especially if you see he's gaining weight.

Go on an organized hiking or camping trip together. Maybe a kayaking trip or a whitewater rafting trip. Or if you want to do something really interesting, learn to SCUBA dive together. That'll even open up some possibilities as far as vacationing goes.

If this still doesn't work, then go out without him. Have a girls' night. Just because he likes to sit at home all the time doesn't mean you have to! You're starting to resent him because you feel restricted.

Good luck!

June 14, 2007

I'm the same way. My GF and I have been together for 4 years. I really don't want to go out and feel very comfortable staying home. I can really entertain her and myself at home. I think I'm content with this because my GF nags me about going out and other things. AND I MEAN NAG. Example:

Her: "We NEVER go anywhere!!!"

We go out every once in a while; my treat. She just wants to go to new places but I can't get past that NEVER! It pisses me off! I feel like the effort I do make isn't being appreciated.

Her: "You're NEVER Romantic!!!"

There goes that NEVER again!! Several candlelight massages with rose paddles, and Candlelight dinners aren't considered romantic enough I guess!!

Her: "You NEVER Surprise me!!!"

If she wasn't so nosy and impatient maybe I could more often, and when I do, she's "Supposedly" not surprised she says.

NEVER and ALWAYS will kill a man's competence and motivation. I rather stay at him and entertain myself... Less work.

Their isn't really too much advice I can give but agree with what everyone else is saying who isn't bashing your boyfriend. If none of their suggestion work then I think you need to move on.

And what ever you do, don't say NEVER and ALWAYS with dramatics, anger, or at all!

June 15, 2007

Krytellan, I know you are totally right, this is just who he is. He wasn't with any of his exes quite so long as me and was younger then and thus never got this lazy. I guess what I want to know is, is it doomed to be this way? I am assuming yes. Also, are most guys this way? The answer also seems to be yes. So trading him in for another guy doesn't seem to be the answer, as he does have many other positive traits and I am fond of him. I would gladly do anything he showed enthusiasm for, the problem is he never shows enthusiasm for ANYTHING, except me (heh), which I guess is why I stick around. Everything else he is just kind of meh about. Even when we went to see his favorite band play, he displayed no visible excitement of any kind. This is a huge bummer to me, as his lack of enthusiasm is contagious. I am a codependent sort in that I can get into watching football if everyone around me is excited about it, even if it's not my cup of tea. I'm going to try coercing him into doing some stuff and see how it goes. I just hate that I have to force him as I imagine other guys would be willing enough to take me places, but I guess that's because they're trying to "get some."

Woggle, this man needs to stay in and veg always. He'd never get tired of it either. Case in point, he was unemployed for well over a year and spent a lot of that time on my couch while I went to work at a job I hate, which made me incredibly resentful, and even now he smiles broadly and says it was "the best time of my life." Me, I would go stir crazy sitting around at home by myself, but not him. I, too, like to veg sometimes, but not all the time, especially when weekends are our only real time together as we live about 50 miles apart, which is a horrible drive with L.A. traffic. And I am always the one to make the drive since he doesn't like being around my roommate.

Shan2k, rose paddles? Sounds kinky. I am not even this big girly girl type who demands romance like candlelight dinners and massages. Far from it. I just want us to do things other than watch tv, eat, have sex, and do drugs. It makes me feel like we lead a kind of adolescent, postcollege-rut life and that we are not growing up at all, aside from the fact that we are both gainfully employed and have a little more money than we used to.

Guys should realize that this is when girls feel underappreciated and if they are dysfunctional like me, this leads to seeking attention from other sources and then most likely infidelity just because we're so starved for excitement and novelty. I'm just sayin'.

This is kind of unrelated but not, but I have a few job prospects on the horizon. One is exciting and would be creatively fulfilling, which I think would help me feel excited and happy independently of him, and another is near him, so we could live together (yikes!). I think I get so pissed that our weekends are blah because they are all we have and I drive all that way for the privilege of sitting on his couch. If I lived there, maybe I would resent him less? He tends to be more up for doing things on weeknights too, as inertia hasn't yet set in.

Aussie (I'm originally from NZ, btw), I think this is kind of the "solution" to the problem, since we obviously can't change our men, we have to change ourselves in some way by finding our own hobbies or pursuits that don't revolve around them. Maybe when they notice we're not at their beck and call anymore they will try a little harder? And if they don't notice, maybe that means it's time to get out? I really don't know. Him being that way after just eight months is pretty dreadful though, because it won't get any better. Even my guy was still pretty nuts over me and eager to please at that point in time. Might be time to cut your losses?

June 15, 2007

A man needs to stay in and veg out sometimes. There is no better feeling in the world than that. I don't think women understand how rejuvenating this is to a man. Just order some take out, put on some music and chill. If you let him have some time to do this he will want to go out and wine and dine you again.

hahah veg out?his vegging out is detrimental to his health it seems having piled on so much weight.Take out is hardly what he needs right now,maybe some good healthy food and some excercise would benefit him greatly.When men gain weight its OK but when women gain weight its like "get off your ass and get to the gym"...

June 15, 2007

Oops, I posted twice. Sorry, newbie here. Yeah, I guess that part chaps my hide too. I do my darnedest to stay in shape by going to the gym and not eating everything I'd like to. He said to me after looking at other women's fat asses, "I'm so glad you're not fat or I wouldn't want to hump you so much." I'm like, well, ok, great, but what about how I feel about his physique? He's been dieting somewhat and going on very short jogs that really aren't enough, but he says being heavy and a smoker make it impossible for him to run much. He has no excuse for not walking instead, other than being lazy. I know I might sound like a big whiner here, but if you guys saw what he was like, you would be more sympathetic. I do believe he will make some short-term minor changes in an effort to keep me from being upset or possibly leaving, but at the core of it I see that he is how he is and that isn't likely to change.

June 15, 2007

hey cool neighbour.I am disappointed too,I guess when you put so much into a relationship and feel he doesn't quite show his appreciation is starts to make you feel blah yourself.

I know with my guy we have worked most weekends and through the week we are both busy as all heck.We do live together and our time is limited as his hours are long so by time he gets home and eats dinner he is off to bed.I am still feeling like its the honeymoon period and yes I do agree,it's way too soon for him to be like this now,maybe so many girlfriends prior to dating me has made him this way.

I find myself needing so much more from him and not getting it.I was thinking coming home from work about being scarce tomorrow,going to visit a friend and leaving him on his own,I am sure he would find something to do pretty fast and probably would get annoyed with me for doing this but what do you do...sit home all weekend and do nothing because he chooses to?

Tomorrow I am going to do my own thing....I hope you do the same ? let me know how it goes.

June 15, 2007

I am the same,I look after myself as well and all I see is my guy being lazy and getting fatter.I want him to walk the dogs with me and he wont even do that.I want my guy around for some time but the rate he is going he will end up having a heart attack

June 15, 2007

Oh yeah, my guy did the same thing actually! When I was busy taking a class, he called up his friends and made plans. Drove all the way out to Hollywood/Silverlake just for lunch (he'd never bother for me! And then he saw Adrian Grenier, which I was miffed about missing, heh) and then went to the movies with friends at the Grove. WTF??? What a slap in the face! He said it was because he didn't want to sit around my apartment with my weird roommate when I wasn't there, but still. Where do you live, Aussie? I'm from Auckland and have family in Sydney. I think your idea of making yourself scarce sounds good. A lot of times I think I'll do that but I find myself missing him and quickly cave into his requests that I come over. Pathetic, eh? That and I don't have a lot of friends around here anymore. Everyone seems to have moved away. How old is your bf? I wonder if that has anything to do with it, as he sounds a bit jaded. My bf just called me all loopy on booze and pills and I inexplicably burst into tears, I think because it sounded like he was having fun without me. I know it's childish but I had a crappy day, ate like a sparrow, went to the gym (which I hate) and here he is calling me up all f***ed up and having fun--very uncharacteristic--without me! He insisted he was not having fun but was more happy to be pain-free, as he injured his back last weekend. This will of course buy him more lazy time, as I can't reasonably expect him to do anything in this state. It's just hard for me not to take it personally as generally speaking he doesn't like to booze it up or act like he's having fun at all when I am around.

June 15, 2007

dog lover, he isn't an insensitive jerk, I think I am hypersensitive. But he IS lazy. I know that. I guess what I need to figure out is whether I can live with that or not. I tend to think not, but I guess I want to give it the old college try before I bail. I know I have mostly complained so far instead of approaching it from a positive, proactive angle, which is what I am going to try to do as soon as his back is better. He does say he's sick of being fat, but he doesn't do enough about it to fix the problem. He generally likes foods loaded with fat and finds things that are healthy not flavorful enough for him. That and I'm not around to cook for him. He seems to be trying harder to eat better, but it's slow going and unfortunately the one thing we do still enjoy doing together is eating, which we tend to do too much of on weekends. I need to set a better example, I guess. Not always easy. I find myself seeking comfort in food these days, and I historically haven't been that way. I guess because I am sad about life in general.

A while back, I did actually try dating other guys and all of them failed miserably before I ran back to him with my tail between my legs. In some respect, I feel fortunate that he took me back. Yes, I am well aware I have self-esteem issues. I was reading the thread by Voi134 (or some other combination of numbers). She is 21 and her MM is 50. She lives in Los Angeles (like I do) and says she chose this man because she wanted no-strings sex and all the single guys she dated wanted strings. I tried (maybe not my best, but I tried) to find strings and I found a bunch of really strange, dysfunctional guys. Not that they weren't interested in me but that they each had some major liability and several of them turned on me quite nastily when I expressed my doubts. (One told me I was "middle aged" and suggested that I look into getting implants.) I don't know where she finds all these princes in L.A. because all I found were toads or guys who had gfs or were inappropriately young for me. Sigh.

June 16, 2007

Dump him, you're 31..You got a good couple years left to find a dude that is worthy of marriage. He has grown complacent in those 5 years, and let me tell you. He's not gonna get any better.

LOL, all your girlfriends and people on here will say the same thing. I know a girl who was in a 6 year relationship from the age of 28 till 34..Til she dumped him because he was beating around the bushes about being married.

To all the ladies in relationshipland, If the guy is not asking you for marriage by the 2nd-3rd year, or at the very least setting an engagement (An engagement can always be cancelled or put a delay before marriage) You are wasting your time and so is he.

June 16, 2007

Hitman, I would normally agree with you about that time frame, unless the people involved were very young, but he and I had a rocky past and I did some terrible things that created serious trust issues. It's taken him a while to feel that I even deserve a proposal, and quite frankly, I have to agree with him.

He does talk about it in a vague way (we had a discussion about ring types/budget the other day), but I know that he really doesn't care about marriage one way or the other (if I were a guy I know I wouldn't) and if he did it, it would be to please me. Not because he's not committed to me but just because he doesn't think the formality of marriage is important. I am not even sure if marriage is important to me either or whether I am more concerned to measuring up to other people's ideas of what I should be doing at this stage of my life. The whole thing is very confusing for me. My parents never married so I guess I never grew up thinking it was necessary. But the idea of having a baby daddy sounds kinda ghetto. And I don't even know if I want children! Or whether either of us would be fit parents!

But this is all getting way too complicated. For now, I mostly wanted to figure out whether I am being an unreasonable nag, whether I can help motivate him to be more active and fun, and whether I can tolerate being with him if I can't. I mostly just want to actually ENJOY spending time with him. When I mentioned trying to find someone else before I'm too old to do so, I wasn't speaking specifically of marriage and children (though I guess they are possibly factors) but more of my chances of landing a guy who is what I want, as it's a hard truth that looks matter to men, and I'm not getting any younger or prettier. Maybe I am being a pessimist, as I'm sure people meet and fall in love at all ages; it just gets hard to see beyond the superficial bubble that is LA sometimes.

June 16, 2007

I have never been much of a planner
... I really loathe my job at the moment and feel very stuck ...I do feel sort of ungrateful... I'm such a strange and difficult person... I have few friends and am not close to my family

Why is it OK for you to have the negative qualities you describe and yet you find his flaws so unattractive? One sign of a good woman is that she gives her man the consideration she expects to receive in return. I'd be very interested to read your BF's posted description of you

Mr. Lucky

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