ku2008 Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I posted in another thread--but my wife and I are seperated for 2 month--marriage on rocks for a year--headed for div--no filing yet, but will remain friends. I'm interested in a gal--just met socially and talked on the phone a couple times. I'd like to ask her to dinner next week, when I'm in her neck of the woods. At this time--she knows nothing of my current status--I dont' wear a ring anymore. I think its right to tell her my current status when I ask her to dinner--just to be honest upfront--what do the rest of you think?
mymatchmaker Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Hi ku2008, You are right. In my opinion, you should tell her upfront to prevent any embrassment later. If she rejects you now after you tell her the truth, she will also most likely reject you later if you tell her a month from now. But you have to be sure about your current status with your wife before you make a move on the girl. Otherwise, your wife/ex-wife and your new girlfriend may have resentment later. Take care. Mymatchmaker
jcster Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I think you could wait until the second date, but no longer than that. Just enjoy your first date and get to know her - but the sooner the better for that revelation.
Lauriebell82 Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I think you should be upfront with her. Like the other people said, it's not going to make a difference whether you tell her now or a month from now. It will be more fair to her if she realizes the situation at hand. If you prolong it, it will just be more pain for everyone involved later on.
Krytellan Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Well KU, I went through the same thing, except papers had been filed in my case. I waited until the second date to tell her. It was an eHarmony connection, so we communicated and then decided to meet. On the first date, it was divulged that "I had been married". After that, but before the second date, I told her that I was "still married and had filed", and that the separation had been 9 months and that I now lived 2500 miles away from the ex. She expressed great respect for the fact that I had told her upfront, and before anything happened (we hadn't even kissed yet). But I wanted her to get to know ME first. I don't feel that I'm defined by my divorce, so therefore, I want the person to have one good shot at getting to know me as I am, and not as what my situation is. Make sense? So go out with her. Show her who you are. If you are both interested in pursuing anything further, be upfront and do it before any fluids are exchanged. You'd be surprised how far a little respect can go nowadays as it's so hard to find.
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