some1 ..i need !

[luv3sji]

ok here it goes..ive been with the father of my 20mo old son since i was in high school . We are now going on our 6yr anniversary in October. Every since my son was born me and the father have been having minor issues here and there i never thought anything of them since we were new parents and just purchased a home at the time. As time went on i started to feel really weird and felt as if something just wasnt right. Come to find out right after my sons 1st birthday i recieved an email from this girl asking me if i was with her boyfriend ?!. I responded to the email by stating im "sorry i think u have the wrong person see i live in the same home and have a child with this man, so it cant be him". she then went on to inform me that she knew about me and she wanted to let me know that he had been seeing her for about 5mo/6mo and she is now pregnant by him..:lmao:yes when i found out my heart was broken he had been the only man i had ever really loved. I couldnt stand him i actually was able to say that i HATED him over and over and over straight to his face with no remorse. I packed all of his belongings and kicked him out of our home.but then at 3am in the morning his parents knocked on my door stating that he was at the hospital and wanted to see ME (not his son). come to find out he had tried to commit suicide while walking(since i also kept the car) and past out from so much blood lost. yes i felt so bad and i let him come back home we seperated for about a week where he stayed with his parents but he ended up coming back home the next weekend. then his best friend past away and it seemed like the whole situation was placed on hold..when i wanted to talk to him about it he would say please dont leave me everything that i love is leaving me not you too.. i felt soo soo soo bad but i still dont feel da same for him as i used to and im starting to believe i never will..what can i do i love him as the father of my son and i have tried to trust him again but i just feel that he is the BIGGEST liar and i always have the question why? and has he done this b4?...but the point of him lying,cheating and leaving me to believe he would be working late while i stayed at home wiht the baby just has me going crazy..i actually did not have my period for a YEAR because of my stress level..he tells me over and over that he loves me to the death and wants to get married! but he also notices that i no longer show the affection and tell him that i love him like i used to.. i just cant get it thru my head! im trying to work this out for my son, he is not a bad father to my son. but i still feel that my son feels my sadness at times bcause he will come up to me and give me a big hugg and kiss his father is trying to make it better he has cut all ties with that girl and she also gotten an abortion. i just dont know what to do? should i stay and try to work it out? should i seperate and see what happens? please help anyone with advice!

[ilmw]

ok here it goes..ive been with the father of my 20mo old son since i was in high school . We are now going on our 6yr anniversary in October. Every since my son was born me and the father have been having minor issues here and there i never thought anything of them since we were new parents and just purchased a home at the time. As time went on i started to feel really weird and felt as if something just wasnt right. Come to find out right after my sons 1st birthday i recieved an email from this girl asking me if i was with her boyfriend ?!. I responded to the email by stating im "sorry i think u have the wrong person see i live in the same home and have a child with this man, so it cant be him". she then went on to inform me that she knew about me and she wanted to let me know that he had been seeing her for about 5mo/6mo and she is now pregnant by him..:lmao:yes when i found out my heart was broken he had been the only man i had ever really loved. I couldnt stand him i actually was able to say that i HATED him over and over and over straight to his face with no remorse. I packed all of his belongings and kicked him out of our home.but then at 3am in the morning his parents knocked on my door stating that he was at the hospital and wanted to see ME (not his son). come to find out he had tried to commit suicide while walking(since i also kept the car) and past out from so much blood lost. yes i felt so bad and i let him come back home we seperated for about a week where he stayed with his parents but he ended up coming back home the next weekend. then his best friend past away and it seemed like the whole situation was placed on hold..when i wanted to talk to him about it he would say please dont leave me everything that i love is leaving me not you too.. i felt soo soo soo bad but i still dont feel da same for him as i used to and im starting to believe i never will..what can i do i love him as the father of my son and i have tried to trust him again but i just feel that he is the BIGGEST liar and i always have the question why? and has he done this b4?...but the point of him lying,cheating and leaving me to believe he would be working late while i stayed at home wiht the baby just has me going crazy..i actually did not have my period for a YEAR because of my stress level..he tells me over and over that he loves me to the death and wants to get married! but he also notices that i no longer show the affection and tell him that i love him like i used to.. i just cant get it thru my head! im trying to work this out for my son, he is not a bad father to my son. but i still feel that my son feels my sadness at times bcause he will come up to me and give me a big hugg and kiss his father is trying to make it better he has cut all ties with that girl and she also gotten an abortion. i just dont know what to do? should i stay and try to work it out? should i seperate and see what happens? please help anyone with advice!

 

 

Hi and welcome to LS.. sorry you find yourself here.. but you have come to a good place for some help and understanding.

 

Your man? used emotional blackmail on you to make you feel sorry for him. He attempted to deflect what he has done.. and distract you. No real man would attempt to commit suicide over this.. he still has a son..and his son should have been a priority **(UNLESS HE IS UNDIAGNOSED WITH SOME MENTAL DISORDER)**

 

As for staying or going... that is a hard call. You would have to post more.. I will tell you though... you will get several post to your thread. As there are many ladies on here who have been through similar situations.. and would be better suited to giving you advice.

 

I will say this though... if you two do stay together... you had better get some incite into relationships... Read some books on infidelity... building and maintaining relationships..etc. You would be surprised how much we know.. about the opposite sex.. and the dynamics of human relationships.. I know I was floored when I started reading... had a lot of Ohhh and Hmmmm and awwww crap moments..

 

Take care.. be patient.. and think smart.. with your head... and not your heart..k

 

ilmw

[luv3sji]

He Has Told Me That He Is Willing To Go To A Relationship Counselor And Read Books But I Feel So Stupid Bad I Dont Know How I Feel Just Thinking That Because Of His Mistakes I Need To Put About 80% More Into The Realationship And He Just Needs To Sit Back While Some Person Or Book Tells Me What To Do?! Before All Of This Happend I Felt So Bonded To Him And After It All Happend I Have Felt Seperate And I Dont Want To Be Affectionet Or Tell Him I Love Him 24/7..i Guess I Need To Look Into The Books More And See What There About..but The Whole Thing Is ...i Think I Dont Love Him Anymore! Or At Least The Way I Used To I Mean Could You Love Someone That Betrayed All Of Your Trust And Love?!? Its So Hard I Catch Myself Thinking Of Other People When Im With Him, We Dont Conversate Anymore Because If I Say Anything About A Male Customer Complementing Me He Asumes That Im Going To Cheat On Him.. He Accuses Me Of Cheating Now More Than Ever!..and To Add On When He Wants To Be Intimate I Really Dont Even Want To Do Anything With Him Because I Cant Stop Thinking Or Better Yet Picture Him In My Head Sleeping With That Other Girl!!

[luv3sji]

He Has Told Me That He Is Willing To Go To A Relationship Counselor And Read Books But I Feel So Stupid Bad I Dont Know How I Feel Just Thinking That Because Of His Mistakes I Need To Put About 80% More Into The Realationship And He Just Needs To Sit Back While Some Person Or Book Tells Me What To Do?! Before All Of This Happend I Felt So Bonded To Him And After It All Happend I Have Felt Seperate And I Dont Want To Be Affectionet Or Tell Him I Love Him 24/7..i Guess I Need To Look Into The Books More And See What There About..but The Whole Thing Is ...i Think I Dont Love Him Anymore! Or At Least The Way I Used To I Mean Could You Love Someone That Betrayed All Of Your Trust And Love?!? Its So Hard I Catch Myself Thinking Of Other People When Im With Him, We Dont Conversate Anymore Because If I Say Anything About A Male Customer Complementing Me He Asumes That Im Going To Cheat On Him.. He Accuses Me Of Cheating Now More Than Ever!..and To Add On When He Wants To Be Intimate I Really Dont Even Want To Do Anything With Him Because I Cant Stop Thinking Or Better Yet Picture Him In My Head Sleeping With That Other Girl!!