McFadden Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 I have a new situation that came out of nowhere. My friend's younger brother's friend ended up liking me apparently. I am almost 19 and he's 14 and is a freshman. After I met him one time at my friend's house, he requested me on Myspace and sent me a message asking if I remembered him. It was all innocent enough so I added him. Then he sent me a couple IMs (apparently he got my sn from his brother). I chatted with him a few times. Then out of nowhere he messages me and says "I feel like there is chemistry between us so I'm just going to cut to the chase: what would you say to going on a date with me on friday?" I was just like awwww its this little kid and he's trying to act all Don Juan and stuff. I was going to ignore it. Then when he saw that I read it, he IM'd me and said "So what did you think about my question? *wink*" I said thanks but I was busy next weekend. He said "well then tell me when you aren't busy, we'll go on a date then?" I told him he is too young for me and doesn't he realize how old I am? He said "I am very mature for my age and I always date older women. Whats it going to hurt to go on one date, how about weekend after next?" I said no and he said "Just go out with me one time and then I will never bother you again." I was so embarrassed and felt caught on the spot, so I said that I would go on a date with him weekend after next. Whats the right thing to do in this situation? I obviously am not going to have any relationship with this little kid but I feel bad if he really tries to ask me on a date and I say no. So what I'm asking is how bad is it if I go on a date with this little kid just to be nice? Is it creepy? And does it seem like his intentions are impure? I don't want the moves getting put on me by a 14 year old (awww.) Well maybe I don't mind but the laws in this state wouldn't like it! What do I do?
Jack'a Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 Hmmmmm..... Ummmm..... Hmmm........... difficult situation, isn't it....
elias2k2 Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 Go on the date and talk to him, tell him how you feel. I have a new situation that came out of nowhere. My friend's younger brother's friend ended up liking me apparently. I am almost 19 and he's 14 and is a freshman. After I met him one time at my friend's house, he requested me on Myspace and sent me a message asking if I remembered him. It was all innocent enough so I added him. Then he sent me a couple IMs (apparently he got my sn from his brother). I chatted with him a few times. Then out of nowhere he messages me and says "I feel like there is chemistry between us so I'm just going to cut to the chase: what would you say to going on a date with me on friday?" I was just like awwww its this little kid and he's trying to act all Don Juan and stuff. I was going to ignore it. Then when he saw that I read it, he IM'd me and said "So what did you think about my question? *wink*" I said thanks but I was busy next weekend. He said "well then tell me when you aren't busy, we'll go on a date then?" I told him he is too young for me and doesn't he realize how old I am? He said "I am very mature for my age and I always date older women. Whats it going to hurt to go on one date, how about weekend after next?" I said no and he said "Just go out with me one time and then I will never bother you again." I was so embarrassed and felt caught on the spot, so I said that I would go on a date with him weekend after next. Whats the right thing to do in this situation? I obviously am not going to have any relationship with this little kid but I feel bad if he really tries to ask me on a date and I say no. So what I'm asking is how bad is it if I go on a date with this little kid just to be nice? Is it creepy? And does it seem like his intentions are impure? I don't want the moves getting put on me by a 14 year old (awww.) Well maybe I don't mind but the laws in this state wouldn't like it! What do I do?
Lizzie60 Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 either you explain to him face to face (or email) that you are not interested, that the age gap is too much...+ it is illegal... blablabla... If he's that mature, he'll understand. or go for a coffee (or a chocolate milk for him LOL) and explain to him that it is illegal... that you can't put yourself in that situation... for different reasons. It's only 5 years.... but now it makes a difference... in 10 years from now, it won't ... so maybe he's willing to wait 10 years... LOL
Author McFadden Posted June 12, 2007 Author Posted June 12, 2007 He is such a cute little thing..I just want to pinch him on the face. I think it would be too mean at this point to cancel so I will go on "a date" and explain the illegality of things. Plus, he promised he would leave me alone if I went on one date, so he will have to.
Lishy Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 I would not call it a date - Let him know before you even meet him that you are just meeting him for a coffee/coke and that you are meeting as friends and that it is NOT A DATE! Good luck lol
Topper Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 If you really don't want to go out with him then don't. It would be crueler to let him think that he has a chance with you then to cut him off now. At 14 he has some major hormones running amuck I'm sure he is thinking this hot older woman could teach me about the facts of life. This cute little kids is hiding those long horny horns. think about this that kid probable fantasying about you and is masturbating at least 4 or 5 times a day. to that little fantasy.
ls3360 Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 It sounds like he doesn't take no for an answer. Do you really think you can explain it to him when you see him? Or maybe he's just doing this on a dare or something and truly only needs to go out with you once. :-)
Trialbyfire Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 I would clearly state that you're not interested in dating someone who's so young. Make it clear and make it in writing. The last thing you want are consequences to misconstrued actions.
electric_sheep Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 Hopefully no one needs remind you of how pathologically fundamentalist, hysterical, and absolutist our society is regarding such relationships. There is a witch hunt. Even the briefiest of kisses on anything other than a forehead or cheek could possibly land you in jail. I kid you not. In the current climate a supposedly "innocent" date could be easily misconstrued. I hope his parents arn't Republicans or evangelicals.
Author McFadden Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 If you really don't want to go out with him then don't. It would be crueler to let him think that he has a chance with you then to cut him off now. At 14 he has some major hormones running amuck I'm sure he is thinking this hot older woman could teach me about the facts of life. This cute little kids is hiding those long horny horns. think about this that kid probable fantasying about you and is masturbating at least 4 or 5 times a day. to that little fantasy. That doesn't seem to bother me- which is what makes the whole situation so sick. Yeah, I think I really am going to have to cancell everything before even seeing him. Things could go all awry here and I could end up in prison for years. Not that I would care.
Star Gazer Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I have a new situation that came out of nowhere. My friend's younger brother's friend ended up liking me apparently. I am almost 19 and he's 14 and is a freshman. After I met him one time at my friend's house, he requested me on Myspace and sent me a message asking if I remembered him. It was all innocent enough so I added him. Then he sent me a couple IMs (apparently he got my sn from his brother). I chatted with him a few times. Then out of nowhere he messages me and says "I feel like there is chemistry between us so I'm just going to cut to the chase: what would you say to going on a date with me on friday?" I was just like awwww its this little kid and he's trying to act all Don Juan and stuff. I was going to ignore it. Then when he saw that I read it, he IM'd me and said "So what did you think about my question? *wink*" I said thanks but I was busy next weekend. He said "well then tell me when you aren't busy, we'll go on a date then?" I told him he is too young for me and doesn't he realize how old I am? He said "I am very mature for my age and I always date older women. Whats it going to hurt to go on one date, how about weekend after next?" I said no and he said "Just go out with me one time and then I will never bother you again." I was so embarrassed and felt caught on the spot, so I said that I would go on a date with him weekend after next. Whats the right thing to do in this situation? I obviously am not going to have any relationship with this little kid but I feel bad if he really tries to ask me on a date and I say no. So what I'm asking is how bad is it if I go on a date with this little kid just to be nice? Is it creepy? And does it seem like his intentions are impure? I don't want the moves getting put on me by a 14 year old (awww.) Well maybe I don't mind but the laws in this state wouldn't like it! What do I do? He is such a cute little thing..I just want to pinch him on the face. I think it would be too mean at this point to cancel so I will go on "a date" and explain the illegality of things. Plus, he promised he would leave me alone if I went on one date, so he will have to. That doesn't seem to bother me- which is what makes the whole situation so sick. Yeah, I think I really am going to have to cancell everything before even seeing him. Things could go all awry here and I could end up in prison for years. Not that I would care. Weren't you on LoveLine a week or so ago? This is illegal, and you don't seem to care. He's FAR too young for you, and has NO IDEA what he's getting himself involved in. You do. Walk away, leave him alone.
Trialbyfire Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 What in the world could a woman possibly see in a 14 year-old boy? It's a little sick, don't you think?
Lishy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I do find it strange that a 19 year old would even consider entertaining this idea ... No matter how sweet the kid is!
Star Gazer Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 What in the world could a woman possibly see in a 14 year-old boy? It's a little sick, don't you think? Yes, it is. I'm sincerely curious whether the OP is the same person I heard on LoveLine...and even if not, how and under what circumstances she lost her virginity. See, the above story in incredibly similar to what I heard on LL. Basically, this 19 year old thought it would be fun to "deflower" this young kid, and "teach him things." "He's so young and innocent, I want to see what it would be like to corrupt him," she said. I don't remember his exact words, and I'm no doctor so it's hard to rememeber and explain, but Dr. Drew tried reasoning with her. He basically said that a young person's brain isn't biologically ready to process the thoughts and emotions involved with sex at such a young age, and that to get him involved in this sort of thing would do permanent damage to him cognitively speaking (from a healthy relationship standpoint, at least). He said that it's a vicious cycle, and analogized to child molesters - it's no surprise that they are usually victims of sexual abuse at a young age themselves. These predators generally don't believe that they're harming children, just showing their love for them. (Reminds me of MJ.) If this girl were to follow through with this, the kid would likely end up seeking young girls to "deflower" as well. Anyway, the girl then admitted that she lost her virginity at like 13 or something to a 26 year old man. Not surprising that she now wanted to be in a position to take the same away from someone young too. It's sick.
Trialbyfire Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 SG, that's so wrong. You would think that anyone who was abused would break out of the cycle and want to be the polar opposite.
Author McFadden Posted June 14, 2007 Author Posted June 14, 2007 I never appeared on a show called Love Line and although that has similarities to my question, I think everyone is automatically projecting that persons motives onto me. They sound like a predator and I'm not like that. This isn't a usual thing for me, I don't sit in school parking lots stalking boys or anything like that. This kid came from out of nowhere and started persuing me. He is the one who points out that "he is mature for his age" and that "in a few years this wouldn't be a big deal." Which I kind of see his point on. He is the one doing the persuing and he has already gotten me in trouble because he sent a poem to me and someone found it, so I had to lie and say it was from someone else. And for the record I lost my virginity with my boyfriend at the time who was the same age as me and was also a virgin, after high school graduation. It was as normal as it can get.
sb129 Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 Which is all well and good, but lets not detract from your original question. IMO, if you start dating a 14yo boy, you are asking for trouble. I highly doubt he will be "the one", so why go thru the grief?
Author McFadden Posted June 14, 2007 Author Posted June 14, 2007 I don't know, I've been having some sick thoughts go through my head like I'm not getting any younger and this may be the last time I can get my hands on one of these. I probably wouldn't do anything, but I think its a fantasy that most people have. Its perpetuated by the media a lot. Besides, I know dozens of males in college dating young girls in high school, no big deal. But everyone who has found out about this has been appalled and told me to drop the whole thing. Could this have something to do with the genders being reversed?
Trialbyfire Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 OP, you may want to read this article before even considering any actions on your part. It's an article about a 17 year-old boy still in prison for having consensual oral sex with a 15 year-old girl. http://www.ajc.com/services/content/metro/stories/2007/06/11/0612wilson.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=13
Lishy Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 I don't know, I've been having some sick thoughts go through my head like I'm not getting any younger and this may be the last time I can get my hands on one of these. I probably wouldn't do anything, but I think its a fantasy that most people have. Its perpetuated by the media a lot. Besides, I know dozens of males in college dating young girls in high school, no big deal. But everyone who has found out about this has been appalled and told me to drop the whole thing. Could this have something to do with the genders being reversed? Get your hands on one of what? A 14 year old? You are sick! Go get some help - If that was my 14 year old I would be drop kicking you to the curb and stamping my boots into your head! Get a grip girl!
StartingOver07 Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 I don't know, I've been having some sick thoughts go through my head like I'm not getting any younger and this may be the last time I can get my hands on one of these. Huh? You're 19! Hardly old enough to be having "I'm not getting any younger" type of thoughts. I probably wouldn't do anything, but I think its a fantasy that most people have. This is pedophilia and, no, I don't think most people have this fantasy. Its perpetuated by the media a lot. Besides, I know dozens of males in college dating young girls in high school, no big deal. But everyone who has found out about this has been appalled and told me to drop the whole thing. Could this have something to do with the genders being reversed? I think a 19yo man with a 14yo girl is just as wrong.
sb129 Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 Huh? You're 19! Hardly old enough to be having "I'm not getting any younger" type of thoughts. This is pedophilia and, no, I don't think most people have this fantasy. I think a 19yo man with a 14yo girl is just as wrong. And a 19yo girl with a 14yo boy is wrong too. 19 is hardly old. Hell, if I was interested in a 19yo I would consider that to be gross and cradle-snatching, and it would be legal. Don't do it. At least find a 16 yo- two years makes all the difference in the eyes of the law.
Star Gazer Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 I don't know, I've been having some sick thoughts go through my head like I'm not getting any younger and this may be the last time I can get my hands on one of these. Get your hands on WHAT? A child? That's just gross. I probably wouldn't do anything, but I think its a fantasy that most people have. Ummm, no. I'm gonna venture a guess that most people do NOT fantasize about sex with a 14 year old. I'm hoping there's law enforcement on this board that can somehow track you down...
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